Recent content by Prof P

Does anyone know a forum full of smart arse c@nts who spend too much time masturbating over their key boards? OP, there won't be one tonight unfortunately. Please be sure to spend every second of your day on this site before daring to ask a sensible football related question in future.

Really? Congratulations Granny, its also me and the missus' aniversary today. True fact. 8 years, the best of her life. However, she's off to a PTA meeting and I'm staying in for a wank.

Whore's breakfast...Mars bar, coke (full fat) and a B&H and a wank of course

'A voyage of madmen'. I've got to be honest, despite my appearance I'm a complete snob and wouldn't personally ever read a footballers memoirs or any such (No offence, I'm sure others enjoy them. But then the DaVinci Code seems to have sold a lot of copies so a lot of people are happy reading...

I bow to your superior knowledge on planning application procedure. But, you know, its 20 degrees outside, we're about to watch a six pointer to stay in the play off places in our spanking new stadium, watching the best football in the division (and, I might add, I happen to be taking my two...

Everyone's entitled to their opinion etc etc but that's bollocks. The sun's sports coverage is shithouse. Granted there's pages and pages of it but its worthless drivel, full of 'England's Brave John Terry' this and 'Stevie Gee' that and the facile opinions of people like Ian Wright, god help...

Don't pussy foot around this bellend. I'm sick of this stupid debate. Anyone booing one of our players is a twat.

And other fans call us gay. Go figure

OK, there's the plan... - Both are joining the young seagulls this weekend - We will pencil in March 31, Borough at home, for the boys' first match day experience - I imediately write a strongly worded letter to the school demanding the removal of Mrs.featherstone from the teaching staff

Hmmm. Good advise all round. Incidentally, the good twin (not the evil one) picked this up at school, an anti United chant doing the rounds in the playground (to the tune of Deck the Halls)... Man United are shortsighted, never scored a goal in history Their defenders watch Eastenders Tra la...

My twin boys, 4, start after school football next week and I'm now tasked with getting them a football shirt each. I always presumed there would be a dilemma when it got to this stage. Would you... a) let them choose their own team b) encourage them to support your local club (currently...

Bollocks. What a way to spunk my 100th post

I've been watching the Albion, home and away, for 112 years now, often without shoes on and once when I had full blown AIDS, and only ever left early once. That was against Hereford back in the 90's. Some time during the first half I spotted an orphan trying to save a drowning kitten. So I left...

I believe you are referring to the Long Tall Texans. And excellent they were/are too. I remember well them ripping it up outside the Arndale centre in Eastbourne circ. 1987. (That's the unlikeliest sentence I've ever typed)

David Beckham (perfectly nice) Michael Jackson (and no, he didn't touch my winkle)