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The Secret Footballer (merged)













TheBlueAndWhiteStrips

Active member
May 27, 2009
1,170
Huntingdon
A friend who regularly reads the column reckons it might be Frank.

I thought this at first, but the piece mentions lower league football, Frank has only played for West Ham and Swansea on loan apart from Chelsea.
 




cloud

Well-known member
Jun 12, 2011
3,030
Here, there and everywhere
The Checklist



The Checklist
1. Is he English?
2. Is he currently married?
3. Has he played under at least 4 managers?
4. Has he had a transfer between 2 Premiership clubs?
5. Was he a Premier League player in January 2011?
6. Has he played with a group of French players at one club?
7. Has he played with a striker who refused to move unless the pass went exactly where he wanted it?
8. Did he play for one manager for a considerable amount of time who was great before losing it?
9. Has he played for a manager who lost the dressing room?
10. Does he have a friend who plays for Liverpool?
11. Might he think Harry Redknapp is the Messiah?
12. Has he appeared as a pundit? (TSF probably doesn’t do so)
13. Did he have a long term girlfriend as a younger player?
14. Had/has a strong father figure.
15. Not an Arsenal or Man City player.
16. Did he play a match at some point towards the end of March or first few days of April 2011?
17. Not a keeper.
18. Has a daughter.
19. He played with Paolo Di Canio -removed by public demand
20. Someone who’s got a chat about ‘another season’ coming up -see revealing tweet post
21. He’s been involved in a last day relegation battle
22. He’s played for a newly promoted Premier League club
23. Has been subject to a deadline day transfer
24. TSF is Caucasian
25. Has a good friend who is African and has played for a team in Russia
 


cloud

Well-known member
Jun 12, 2011
3,030
Here, there and everywhere
Most likely people so far:

Nicky Shorey, Joe Barton, Jody Craddock, Kevin Davies, Paul Konchesky, Kevin Nolan, Andrew Johnson, Michael Turner, Phil Neville, Steve Sidwell, David Dunn, Leighton Baines
 


Bladders

Twats everywhere
Jun 22, 2012
13,672
The Troubadour
The bits that caught my eye were:

One club I played for made me their record transfer. I have won back-to-back player of the year awards, trophies and played against all the big-name players that the Premier League can offer.

If I'm honest with myself, for about a year I have been drinking very heavily and eating excessively in a pathetic attempt to develop a gut so that they won't pick me any more.
 






TheBlueAndWhiteStrips

Active member
May 27, 2009
1,170
Huntingdon
Whoever it is clearly does not like Ashley Cole
If you meet a footballer and he comes across as a rude, arrogant prick, the chances are that he is simply trying not to give anything away. Either that, or you have bumped into Ashley Cole.
:lol:
 


Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
59,674
The Fatherland
I thought this at first, but the piece mentions lower league football, Frank has only played for West Ham and Swansea on loan apart from Chelsea.

" At the lower league club I played for, we had one kit man and one physio"

Singular, so this statement could be Swansea?
 




catfish

North Stand Brighton Boy
Dec 17, 2010
7,677
Worthing
I've been reading his weekly column since it first appeared in the Grauniad. I had a vague suspicion it was Danny Mills at first but not sure now.
 


Bladders

Twats everywhere
Jun 22, 2012
13,672
The Troubadour
Who was the good looking bloke who got jiggy with a current WAG in the pool then?
 








WATFORD zero

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 10, 2003
25,897
I wonder is he has included a few 'first hand stories' from associates as his own in order to make the column more interesting and make him less easy to identify. But i am naturally cynical.
 




Bladders

Twats everywhere
Jun 22, 2012
13,672
The Troubadour
Who was the good looking bloke who got jiggy with a current WAG in the pool then?

I think he used to play for

Wimbledon_fc.png


and

bwfc.jpg
 








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