[News] The Assault on Jenni Hermoso

[LamieRobertson]

I don't think victim blaming is appropriate here.

What did you expect her to do - give him a "thank you blow job"?

I asked purely to see what you thought…based on your post which wasn’t part of any expectation…this seems quite difficult to accept sometimes when a thread clearly is made up of people who fall on one side of the argument.

Oh and I agree with the first sentence wholeheartedly

 

[Neville's Breakfast]

"Your side" do not "mainly keep quiet". There are lots of shouty older men ranting in newspapers, on Twitter, on TV, on the radio, and on stage at the Spanish FA.

Quite why you feel the need to defend the right of men to overstep boundaries I don't know.

And lots of mainly quiet old(er) men who are appalled by the exploitative attitudes of the shouty old men.

 

[Algernon]

I happen to agree that the media stirs things up.

I also haven to think they have a point in this case.

Sorry to mention my work again but it is relevant here. If some people could come on a VAWG (violence against women and girls) patrol with me in the city centre on a Friday and Saturday night and see the gene deep entitlement some men have towards women and their bodies, you’d be shocked. Even if you think you know it’s terrible, you’d be shocked at the sheer volume of cases we deal with hour in, hour out. High profile cases are important to highlight this.

To defend it on any level just baffles me.

I absolutely believe you and would be happy to accompany you if I lived not 2 and a half hours away. Thank you for doing whatever it is you do.
I 100% abhor lad culture . I can't even be around drunk people and especially lairy shouty blokes.
And I'm absolutely 100% against violence of any kind toward women and men actually.

I just don't like the way that the media stir the pot by sexualising the slightest thing ignoring context and dress it up as newsworthy.

 

[Bakero]

I asked purely to see what you thought…based on your post which wasn’t part of any expectation…this seems quite difficult to accept sometimes when a thread clearly is made up of people who fall on one side of the argument.

Oh and I agree with the first sentence wholeheartedly

If you agree that victim-blaming is inapproriate, why question her actions?

 

[The Clamp]

I absolutely believe you and would be happy to accompany you if I lived not 2 and a half hours away. Thank you for doing whatever it is you do.
I 100% abhor lad culture . I can't even be around drunk people and especially lairy shouty blokes.
And I'm absolutely 100% against violence of any kind toward women and men actually.

I just don't like the way that the media stir the pot by sexualising the slightest thing ignoring context and dress it up as newsworthy.

For the record I don’t doubt you are a decent man and don’t condone violence.

 

[Littlemo]

Are there any women on here who could offer their take on this? Their views would be far more relevant.

It's all a bit shouty male ego rants at the moment, with what appears to be a lot of victim blaming.

Well I am a woman, I’ve had experience of being touched in an unwanted way (to a minor degree)

The problem I have with most of these discussions is that it is all based around women reacting in the ‘right way’, so pushing him off or looking unhappy. There are actually a lot of things that affect that, in this case, the world is watching what’s happening, he’s in a position of power. It’s easy from a detached point of view to say it doesn't matter and she could have done something but when you are full of adrenaline and have conflicting thoughts between should I react and get in trouble or should I just leave it, it’s easy to go with the least conflict option.

The problem doesn’t happen if he just behaves properly and controls himself. Unless you think the person wants to kiss you on the lips (typically a sexual act), don’t kiss them. Cheek kisses are a bit different, they are typically non-sexual greeting type kisses, we all know that to be a different kind of interaction.

Now this guy has probably ruined the memory of the final, winning and receiving the cup for Hermoso. It’s not certain she’ll win it again, and just because he wanted a kiss.

 

[LamieRobertson]

If you agree that victim-blaming is inapproriate, why question her actions?

Not blaming …doesn’t preclude asking ANOTHER POSTER what they thought….perhaps read the post rather than jumping into immediate judgement

Back to the second half of the football now …so ta ta

 

[Bakero]

Not blaming …doesn’t preclude asking ANOTHER POSTER what they thought….perhaps read the post rather than jumping into immediate judgement

Back to the second half of the football now …so ta ta

But what's the relevance? If the poster says she lifted him and they feel that was inappropriate, what next?

We say it was 6 of 1 and half a dozen of the other?

 

[Thunder Bolt]

No it wasn't. But if you don't want to answer then I understand.

ESPN:
Hermoso downplayed Rubiales' behaviour earlier on Monday, saying the kiss was "no big deal" and blaming "the emotion of the moment."

"It was a mutual, totally spontaneous gesture because of the huge joy of winning a World Cup," she said in a statement to news agency EFE. "The 'presi' and I have a great relationship. ... It was a natural gesture of affection and gratitude."

She's obviously changed her mind.

That was the statement put out by the Spanish FA that was said to come from her. She said it was lies, so the Spanish FA said they would sue her. Threats and intimidation by them!
Thankfully FIFA have backed her by suspending Rubiales.
Kissing a woman on the cheeks is acceptable in Europe, but grabbing a woman by her head with both hands is aggressive, threatening as it gives you no chance to duck, or pull your head back to escape. By holding her in that way, he then kissed her on the lips.

I’ve seen men saying she should’ve slapped his face which is victim blaming. It’s shock, and you’re stunned at what’s happenEd, especially in public, so feel embarrassed and stunned for a few seconds.

I‘ve been on the receiving end of misogyny, sexual assaults, insults because I didn’t think the male concerned was God’s gift, so don’t try victim blaming to me.

All the coaching staff except Valdez, are out, plus 81 fellow players, so she has a lot of professional support, let alone from the public.

Just to add Rubiales, has form, is just refusing to get off the gravy train.

 

[Thunder Bolt]

I absolutely believe you and would be happy to accompany you if I lived not 2 and a half hours away. Thank you for doing whatever it is you do.
I 100% abhor lad culture . I can't even be around drunk people and especially lairy shouty blokes.
And I'm absolutely 100% against violence of any kind toward women and men actually.

I just don't like the way that the media stir the pot by sexualising the slightest thing ignoring context and dress it up as newsworthy.

There is no context. Kissing a woman on the lips, who isn’t in a relationship with you is not acceptable.

 

[RyFish]

There is no context. Kissing a woman on the lips, who isn’t in a relationship with you is not acceptable.

Absolutely this. I cannot understand why anyone is even trying to debate against this point.

 

[Pavilionaire]

The bloke was technically at work for the Spanish FA, so it looks like gross misconduct to me, I don't see 'kissing and cuddling your employees' will be in his job description. A whole big bowl of wrong. It's staggering he hasn't already gone.

 

[edna krabappel]

This is a power thing, not just a sexual thing, and I can't see why it's so hard for some people to understand.

If the Spanish men's team won the World Cup, would Rubiales have grabbed a male player's face and kissed him on the lips? No he wouldn't, therefore this act reflects the power imbalance that exists. Either he wanted to teach her a lesson in a situation where it would be very difficult for her to react adversely (as suggested in post 1 on this thread), or it didn't even occur to him that his actions would be deeply inappropriate. I'm not sure which is worse. It was misogynistic, entitled and creepy. Sadly it looks like there are plenty of such men at the Spanish FA to back this particular sex pest up.

 

[Iggle Piggle]

Should he have done it? No
Would I have done it? No

That said, I do get the argument that it's a bit different from a normal workplace as sport is an emotional business. As I type, the Liverpool staff are all cuddling each other and this story below was presented as an "Isn't that nice" in the horse racing world. The Spanish FA bloke might be a power hungry bell cheese for all I know - most people at the top of the tree are - but I can get why he'd react in that way when you've won the World cup.

 

[Littlemo]

I think it’s worth adding that sometimes it’s not the offence but the reaction afterwards that matters just as much.

If he’d seriously apologised and said he realised he got carried away and regretted it, I suspect that might have been accepted by Hermoso. He doubled down, got arsey and refused to admit doing anything wrong, the Spanish FA also doing the same, all of these things are equally infuriating to someone who was already wronged and only wanting that to be acknowledged.

It’s now a massive public circus which will be the main detraction from what ought to have been a joyous event for her.

 

[cjd]

Should he have done it? No
Would I have done it? No

- but I can get why he'd react in that way when you've won the World cup.

I can "get why" someone might get beaten up in the heat of the moment during a furious row, but....


doesn't make it OK...and you would still have to face the serious consequences of acting irrationally.

 

[Weststander]

Are there any women on here who could offer their take on this? Their views would be far more relevant.

It's all a bit shouty male ego rants at the moment, with what appears to be a lot of victim blaming.

Listen to radio phone ins on R5 and LBC. Dozens of females opening up about sexual harassment at work, unwanted approaches, touching and rape from males.

 

[dazzer6666]

There is no context. Kissing a woman on the lips, who isn’t in a relationship with you is not acceptable.

This, all day long.

 

[Neville's Breakfast]

Listen to radio phone ins on R5 and LBC. Dozens of females opening up about sexual harassment at work, unwanted approaches, touching and rape from males.

It is very common. It often doesn’t get reported because of the power imbalance and because of the excuses offered by posters on this thread.

 

[Weststander]

It is very common. It often doesn’t get reported because of the power imbalance and because of the excuses offered by posters on this thread.

I’m guessing some see it as yet another attack on straight men by the left/wokery.

Which is crap in this case. Just decent people calling out an entitled pervert.