Garry Nelson's Left Foot
Well-known member
Well, we need a distraction don't we? Six games without a goal? Eight without a win? Seems like the Albion need to show the kind of fighting spirit that the beasts of WHC IX have in abundance. Talking of which, welcome to group C.
You should know the rules by now. If you don't...Top three go through. Best fourth placed finisher also progresses. We're looking for hardness- a mixture of attitude, aggression, (relative)strength and so on. You have one vote, use it wisely.
The combatants:
Tardigrade
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tardigrade
The smallest(by far) competitor in the tournament the Tardigrade brings one thing and one thing only to the table. Hardiness. They are ridiculously hardy, probably the most durable organism in existence. They can survive pretty much everything. They are happy as larry in temperatures as cold as -272 celcius to temperatures as hot as 150 celcius. They can survive pressures roughly six times greater than those found at in the deepest known trenches in the ocean, can survive radiation hundreds of time more powerful than what would be a lethal dose for a human, can survive in the vacuum of outer space and can go without food or water for more than ten years. The kicker is, they are not actually adapted to survive in these conditions, they just can. Now that is hard. No aggression. No strength. Not up for a ruck. Just practically impossible to kill. The ultimate survivor. If that's your kind of hard then the Tardigrade is for you.
Cassowary
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cassowary
The Cassowary is a WHC regular who always puts up a solid showing without ever threatening the winners circle. This bird is as ridiculous looking as it is aggressive. Generally shy it will go mental if fully provoked. Launching a jumping attack on you, looking to eviscerate you with its five inch long dagger like middle claw. If you are on the receiving end of the attack you'll know all about it as the Cassowaries legs are extremely powerful and the dagger toe is razor sharp.
Honey Badger
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honey_badger
The honey badger is a huge star of the WHC although it has never won the tournament being a three time beaten finalist. It's easy to see why he is so popular as it is as if he has been deliberately designed with this competition in mind. Small, immensely powerful(for his size), hardy(can survive being bitten by poisonous snakes) and willing to scrap with animals much bigger than it(lions...) it has all the tools needed to be a genuine contender. Rightly considered as one of the favourites.
Immortal Jellyfish
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turritopsis_dohrnii
The Immortal Jellyfish gets its name because, well, it's immortal. Theoretically at least. It is able to revert to a sexually immature(make your own jokes) stage after reaching full maturity. In theory it can do this forever thus its immortal moniker. However this doesn't happen as it falls victims to predators. So, it's a pretty impressive trait to have but does it make it hard? In its defence it does prey on other Jellyfish. Is it enough?
African Elephant
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/African_elephant
I'm not sure what to say about the African Elephant. We all know about them. They're huge, powerful, highly intelligent beasts. They can be aggressive when they want to be and if they do become aggressive you don't want to be anywhere near them as they will demolish anything and everything in its path.
African Hunting Dog
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/African_wild_dog
The African hunting Dog is making it's debut in WHC. As such it will need a tremendous P.R team if it is to have a decent tournament. So what can I tell you about it? It is a small but bulky, very social, highly carnivorous animal who is an extraordinarily successful hunter. Something like 80% of african hunting dog food hunts end in success. The lion in contrast has only a 10% success rate. So, if the AHD wants you for dinner you're in trouble.
Hyena
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyena
Another WHC debutante. There are several types of Hyena. I'm going to go with the spotted hyena as it seems the most suited to the competition. It's a small well built beast that, contrary to popular opinion, has actually killed 95% of what it eats. They will defend their kills ferociously, seeing off leopards and lionesses who come sniffing around the carcass. They have been known to prey on, attack, kill and eat humans although this is fairly rare nowadays.
Bull Shark
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bull_shark
This shark is capable of living in salt and fresh water so whatever water you're in this highly aggressive killing machine can hunt you down. Most shark attacks are attributed to the Bull Shark due to his propensity to like shallower coastal waters and the fact he's very terrotorial and, as mentioned, highly aggressive. Amongst his diet is fellow Bull sharks. Cannibalism is always a points winner in the WHC.
Grasshopper Mouse
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grasshopper_mouse
The Grasshopper Mouse burst onto the WHC scene in WHC VII powering its way to a quarter final. It repeated the feat in WHC VIII. What does it have going for it? Quite a lot actually. Like the honey badger, it has a set of attributes that seem designed specifically for this contest. To paraphrase Harry Redknapp, they are highly, highly, highly aggressive animals who don't just hunt their prey, they stalk them. Their prey consists of anything from insects up to scorpions, snakes and other mice. They just shrug off the venom of scorpions and snakes. For a small creature (no more than 7.5 inches nose to tail) they have a huge home territory of about 28 acres which they will defend jealously, howling like a wolf as they do so. Their aggression is such that you can't put two or more in a cage. If you do they will fight and cannibalise each other until their is only one left.
You should know the rules by now. If you don't...Top three go through. Best fourth placed finisher also progresses. We're looking for hardness- a mixture of attitude, aggression, (relative)strength and so on. You have one vote, use it wisely.
The combatants:
Tardigrade
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tardigrade
The smallest(by far) competitor in the tournament the Tardigrade brings one thing and one thing only to the table. Hardiness. They are ridiculously hardy, probably the most durable organism in existence. They can survive pretty much everything. They are happy as larry in temperatures as cold as -272 celcius to temperatures as hot as 150 celcius. They can survive pressures roughly six times greater than those found at in the deepest known trenches in the ocean, can survive radiation hundreds of time more powerful than what would be a lethal dose for a human, can survive in the vacuum of outer space and can go without food or water for more than ten years. The kicker is, they are not actually adapted to survive in these conditions, they just can. Now that is hard. No aggression. No strength. Not up for a ruck. Just practically impossible to kill. The ultimate survivor. If that's your kind of hard then the Tardigrade is for you.
Cassowary
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cassowary
The Cassowary is a WHC regular who always puts up a solid showing without ever threatening the winners circle. This bird is as ridiculous looking as it is aggressive. Generally shy it will go mental if fully provoked. Launching a jumping attack on you, looking to eviscerate you with its five inch long dagger like middle claw. If you are on the receiving end of the attack you'll know all about it as the Cassowaries legs are extremely powerful and the dagger toe is razor sharp.
Honey Badger
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honey_badger
The honey badger is a huge star of the WHC although it has never won the tournament being a three time beaten finalist. It's easy to see why he is so popular as it is as if he has been deliberately designed with this competition in mind. Small, immensely powerful(for his size), hardy(can survive being bitten by poisonous snakes) and willing to scrap with animals much bigger than it(lions...) it has all the tools needed to be a genuine contender. Rightly considered as one of the favourites.
Immortal Jellyfish
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turritopsis_dohrnii
The Immortal Jellyfish gets its name because, well, it's immortal. Theoretically at least. It is able to revert to a sexually immature(make your own jokes) stage after reaching full maturity. In theory it can do this forever thus its immortal moniker. However this doesn't happen as it falls victims to predators. So, it's a pretty impressive trait to have but does it make it hard? In its defence it does prey on other Jellyfish. Is it enough?
African Elephant
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/African_elephant
I'm not sure what to say about the African Elephant. We all know about them. They're huge, powerful, highly intelligent beasts. They can be aggressive when they want to be and if they do become aggressive you don't want to be anywhere near them as they will demolish anything and everything in its path.
African Hunting Dog
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/African_wild_dog
The African hunting Dog is making it's debut in WHC. As such it will need a tremendous P.R team if it is to have a decent tournament. So what can I tell you about it? It is a small but bulky, very social, highly carnivorous animal who is an extraordinarily successful hunter. Something like 80% of african hunting dog food hunts end in success. The lion in contrast has only a 10% success rate. So, if the AHD wants you for dinner you're in trouble.
Hyena
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyena
Another WHC debutante. There are several types of Hyena. I'm going to go with the spotted hyena as it seems the most suited to the competition. It's a small well built beast that, contrary to popular opinion, has actually killed 95% of what it eats. They will defend their kills ferociously, seeing off leopards and lionesses who come sniffing around the carcass. They have been known to prey on, attack, kill and eat humans although this is fairly rare nowadays.
Bull Shark
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bull_shark
This shark is capable of living in salt and fresh water so whatever water you're in this highly aggressive killing machine can hunt you down. Most shark attacks are attributed to the Bull Shark due to his propensity to like shallower coastal waters and the fact he's very terrotorial and, as mentioned, highly aggressive. Amongst his diet is fellow Bull sharks. Cannibalism is always a points winner in the WHC.
Grasshopper Mouse
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grasshopper_mouse
The Grasshopper Mouse burst onto the WHC scene in WHC VII powering its way to a quarter final. It repeated the feat in WHC VIII. What does it have going for it? Quite a lot actually. Like the honey badger, it has a set of attributes that seem designed specifically for this contest. To paraphrase Harry Redknapp, they are highly, highly, highly aggressive animals who don't just hunt their prey, they stalk them. Their prey consists of anything from insects up to scorpions, snakes and other mice. They just shrug off the venom of scorpions and snakes. For a small creature (no more than 7.5 inches nose to tail) they have a huge home territory of about 28 acres which they will defend jealously, howling like a wolf as they do so. Their aggression is such that you can't put two or more in a cage. If you do they will fight and cannibalise each other until their is only one left.
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