Things you did as a kid and learnt never to do again

[KneeOn]

I used to have to do the washing or wiping up when I was a kid, which was split between me and my sister. I hated wiping up with a passion, especially the cutlery. It once made perfect sense to me to put all the knives and forks etc in the microwave to dry them. Luckily, it didn'y explode, but it also didn;t work, so didn't bother again.

Quality!

 

[BeepBeepImaJeep]

When I was young I was afraid Sharks were in my pool (thanks Jaws).... and I always thought they were gonna be underneath me after I jumped in. So in order not to get eaten, I decided that when jumping off the diving board, it was safest to land as close to the side of the pool as possible for a quick exit. Last time I ever did it, my body landed in the pool but my head didn't. My face smacked the pavement on the deck. Lost some teeth.

Now to avoid sharks in swimming pools I just stay in the shallow end.

 

[Spiros]

I reckon I was about 6. Inquisitive age unfortunately.

Must be something about the age of 6 as that's how old I was when I stuck my head through the railings at school. We had been told not to do it that morning because we'd get stuck, but curiosity being what it is....

Fortunately, by the time the fire brigade showed up a teacher had managed to get my head out using copious amounts of margarine spread across the back of my head and ears. However I was stuck for long enough that I had become convinced that they would have to cut my head off to get me out.

 

[Easy 10]

trying to jump off the bus at the Old Steine before it had stopped (before buses had doors). I had seen loads of my mates do it and it looked cool and easy but I didn't realise they always ran in the same direction as the bus was moving. I jumped, started running but my legs buckled and I crashed into the railings opposite what is now the Taj grocers. I had tried to run in the wrong direction. To make matters worse an old lady told me off. I was about 14 at the time and limped to the beach.

Cracking story.

Reminds me of a story on the Danny Baker show a few weeks back, where a young-ish chap was coasting on the open platform on the back of one of those old-fashioned buses, before nonchalently stepping off at a bus stop while the bus was still in motion. On hitting the path, he'd totally underestimated the speed and quickly lost balance running forward, and went crashing into a ONE MAN BAND who was standing there, sending them both sprawling.

The one man band was not amused, and started laying into the young chap as they both lay prostrate on the path - he was raining in kicks and punches to the sound of "BOOM-TISH BOOM-TISH".

I SO much hope that story is a true one.

 

[Whitterz]

Aged at about 5 years old, I got out of the bath and went into my room. Being naked, I opened up the chest of drawers to get clothes out etc. To this day I still dont know what the hell i was doing, but basically I shut my little todger in the draw. It would not come out, it was trapped. No matter how much I tried I could not free it.
It was painful, I screamed for help downstairs, my father came running up to see what the commotion was about "What the hell have you done, what have you been doing?" etc

Anyway, he ran downstairs, and shortly returned with a SPOON to try and prise the drawer away from my trapped widget. It thankfully done the job.

I was a tad embarrased to say the least, and always seems to get brought up during Christmas

 

[Badger]

Spilling white spirit on my trousers and think nothing of it, a few hours later I regretted not washing it off straight away.

Cutting a piece of thick card with a a very sharp scalpal, the main thing I cut was a massive chunk out of the end of my thumb. Having said that it was my first scar so I'm quite proud of it.

 

[Tricky Dicky]

Spilling white spirit on my trousers and think nothing of it, a few hours later I regretted not washing it off straight away.

Cutting a piece of thick card with a a very sharp scalpal, the main thing I cut was a massive chunk out of the end of my thumb. Having said that it was my first scar so I'm quite proud of it.

Reminds me of another. I was making a toasted cheese & onion sandwich and decided the cheese cutter thingy would also cut the onion - but it slipped, and took a chunk out of one of my fingers. Claret everywhere. Fortuantely my brother was at medical school at the time, and practised on me !!

 

[pasty]

My older brother was making some models out of balsa wood for a school project, and I was under the strictest parental instructions NEVER to touch his modelling knife.........

I've still got the scar 40 odd years later where I very nearly sliced the top of my thumb off.

 

[footychick]

Play doctors and nurses with my friends

 

[Lord Bamber]

Aged two, took my tricycle to the top of the stairs and launched myself down and crashed straight through the glass pained front door. The best bit, I'd painted my face and arms red before said launch. My mother has never recovered. I luckily did from various scratches and bruises but I never, ever, ever did that again.

 

[SUIYHP]

walk past an iron while in the naked.

 

[KneeOn]

walk past an iron while in the naked.

Jesus thats bad.

 

[Stoichkov]

While doing homework in my bedroom, I found what I assumed was spilt tea under some batteries so I dipped my fingers in and put them straight in my mouth.

Battery acid is, I can confirm, quite tangy

 

[Stoichkov]

Technically still a 'child' but when I was old enough to probably have more sense, I was at work in a major high street supermarket's freezer putting away the fish fingers etc.

I'd seen one of those 'Far Side' cartoons involving an eskimo with his tongue on a glacier and a mammouth behind him with the caption 'never, ever do this'.

I didn't really understand the cartoon and while thinking about it decided to put my tongue on a freezer shelf.

I instantly 'got' the joke but suddenly realised the predicament I was in, alone in a minus 25 degree freezer unable to move as my tongue was stuck on the shelf.

I knew I had to act quick so I took hold of my tongue and tore it off the shelf before it froze any harder. That was really quite sore for a few days.

 

[Zamora For England]

Locking your arms onto a shopping trolley and coasting, but backwards. Fail.

Touching toaster heating elements with knife.

Picking scabs.

Setting fire to things in the house.

 

[Stumpy Tim]

Spilling white spirit on my trousers and think nothing of it, a few hours later I regretted not washing it off straight away.

Cutting a piece of thick card with a a very sharp scalpal, the main thing I cut was a massive chunk out of the end of my thumb. Having said that it was my first scar so I'm quite proud of it.

I remember Ben sticking his tongue out at you, and you taking a big CHUNK out of it with your new teeth. He didn't do that again. And then you pissed in the bath with him in it & didn't tell him for 20 minutes.

Great work

 

[Psychobilly freakout]

Shitting in the headmasters car whilst he was giving me a lift home because i had diarrhea.

 

[BeepBeepImaJeep]

Shitting in the headmasters car whilst he was giving me a lift home because i had diarrhea.

did he keep giving you rides home after that?

 

[Cappers]

....attempting to write on the pavement with White dog poo thinking it's chalk laying there