Oh and unless it happens we are going down because we are f***ing shit.
We really are UTTER TURD aren't we?
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Calling all wannabe managers. Let's hear your suggestions for improving our form
- Thread starter Joey Deacon's Disco Suit
- Start date
We really are UTTER TURD aren't we?
deletebeepbeepbeep
Well-known member
- May 12, 2009
- 21,210
Clearly it's time for Gustavo to dust off his footballing boots.
Yes, f***ing GASH.
Southampton was the worst Albion performance in 26 YEARS. f*** off Poyet. Get ROONEY in up front.
Bring back LLOYD OWUSU
1) Get rid of Harley, as TCB suggests just shove him off Beachy Head if we must but he has to go.
2) Phone up Murray, and get Poyet to BEG him to come back, on whatever he is on now PLUS Harley's wages.
3) Find a center midfielder capable of injecting some PACE into the team, we had Bennett, we let him go on the cheap, he has not come close to being replaced.
4) Put Taricco in some sheltered accomodation, he's just too OLD.
5) Play Noone on the LEFT, Lua Lua on the Right.
6) Find 2 goalkeepers that are capable above Conference level.
7) Tell Hoskins/Buckley/Vicente to get their act together or f*** OFF.
2) Phone up Murray, and get Poyet to BEG him to come back, on whatever he is on now PLUS Harley's wages.
3) Find a center midfielder capable of injecting some PACE into the team, we had Bennett, we let him go on the cheap, he has not come close to being replaced.
4) Put Taricco in some sheltered accomodation, he's just too OLD.
5) Play Noone on the LEFT, Lua Lua on the Right.
6) Find 2 goalkeepers that are capable above Conference level.
7) Tell Hoskins/Buckley/Vicente to get their act together or f*** OFF.
KZNSeagull
Well-known member
The Large One
Who's Next?
A team line-up to surprise and delight
GK: Noone
RB: CMS
CB: Taricco
CB: KLL
LB: Painter
RW: Virgo
CM: Ankergren
CM: Oatway
LW: O'Sullivan
CF: Elphick
CF: Kuipers
Sub: Fairclough
Look at the spine. Just look at that spine. Strength, skill, quality, height, foreigners, flair AND bollocks.
GK: Noone
RB: CMS
CB: Taricco
CB: KLL
LB: Painter
RW: Virgo
CM: Ankergren
CM: Oatway
LW: O'Sullivan
CF: Elphick
CF: Kuipers
Sub: Fairclough
Look at the spine. Just look at that spine. Strength, skill, quality, height, foreigners, flair AND bollocks.
Tony Meolas Loan Spell
Slut Faced Whores
The ANSWER
A certain DAVID BECKHAM
A certain DAVID BECKHAM
It was never going to be a 'who can score most' kind of game. Tactics were to stop them playing and scoring, which worked for half the game.
Mackenzie
Old Brightonian
Easy, draw the opposition into our half by frigging about with the ball, then hit balls into the channels and over the top for CMS to run onto.
Mellor 3 Ward 4
Well-known member
Harper
Calderon Dunk Greer Painter
Bridcutt Reyes
Vicente
Buckley Noone
CMS
Would be my team if they were all fit.
Calderon Dunk Greer Painter
Bridcutt Reyes
Vicente
Buckley Noone
CMS
Would be my team if they were all fit.
Here's a suggestion, it might shock a few, but how about... playing our top goalscorer in the position he scores goals from?
People can damn Ashley for missing too many, but at least he A) shoots, and B) scores a few. We aren't even having shots on target at the moment.
Having our top goalscorer on the bench, or out on the wing, when we are desperate for goals just seems barmy.
People can damn Ashley for missing too many, but at least he A) shoots, and B) scores a few. We aren't even having shots on target at the moment.
Having our top goalscorer on the bench, or out on the wing, when we are desperate for goals just seems barmy.
Oh and this, will someone go and give Poyet a good hard slap across the face and deliver this message to him at the same time?
Garry Nelson's Left Foot
Well-known member
G.K:
Def: Dunk, El Abd, Reyes
Mid:
Att:Buckley, Noone, Hoskins, Greer, CMS, Vicente, Barnes LuaLua
It seems that Caspers main attribute is his ability with the ball at his feet. I've often read on here how it's like having 11 outfield players. Well, if that's the case, lets have 11 proper outfield players. Everyone grew up playing football down the park with no proper goalie so the back three should be able to cope. There's three of them back there so they can pass it around in pretty triangles if they want to, whoever is closest to the goal can do some goal line clearing like the Norwich defender against Arsenal and they can take turns taking the goal kicks.
The midfield is clearly our weakest area, so I say, f*** it, lets not bother with it and load the attack instead. After the back three are done with their ten minutes of passing between themselves they can launch it up the other end where Greer will be positioned-much like centre halves of losing teams used to do for the last ten minutes back in the day-to win the ball in the air. CMS, Vicente, Buckley, Barnes, LuaLua, Hoskins and Noone will then feed off the second ball and work their magic. The odd goal that we will concede from not having a g.k will be more than offset by the hat full that we'll score.
It's tough on Bridcutt, but if he can't reinvent himself as a defender or silky/speedy attacker then he'll have to be sold. We can then use the proceeds to buy George Boyd to really get the best out of CMS.
Def: Dunk, El Abd, Reyes
Mid:
Att:Buckley, Noone, Hoskins, Greer, CMS, Vicente, Barnes LuaLua
It seems that Caspers main attribute is his ability with the ball at his feet. I've often read on here how it's like having 11 outfield players. Well, if that's the case, lets have 11 proper outfield players. Everyone grew up playing football down the park with no proper goalie so the back three should be able to cope. There's three of them back there so they can pass it around in pretty triangles if they want to, whoever is closest to the goal can do some goal line clearing like the Norwich defender against Arsenal and they can take turns taking the goal kicks.
The midfield is clearly our weakest area, so I say, f*** it, lets not bother with it and load the attack instead. After the back three are done with their ten minutes of passing between themselves they can launch it up the other end where Greer will be positioned-much like centre halves of losing teams used to do for the last ten minutes back in the day-to win the ball in the air. CMS, Vicente, Buckley, Barnes, LuaLua, Hoskins and Noone will then feed off the second ball and work their magic. The odd goal that we will concede from not having a g.k will be more than offset by the hat full that we'll score.
It's tough on Bridcutt, but if he can't reinvent himself as a defender or silky/speedy attacker then he'll have to be sold. We can then use the proceeds to buy George Boyd to really get the best out of CMS.
Tony Meolas Loan Spell
Slut Faced Whores
This is worth repeating here on Portlocks thread
For THOSE that DARE to QUESTION we are in the SHIT
Worrying Stats
We’re all aware generally of these but officially....
Disciplinary:
-top of the yellows league
-2nd top of the fouls-committed league
-And joint 4th of the reds league
He shot, he scored, he must be....(playing for the other team?):
-we’re 3rd bottom of the shots ON target league this season
-top of shots OFF target league (but also with the least number overall, I hasten to add)
-And in the last 9 games, we’ve had 29 shots on target e.g. just over 3 per game (but in two of the last 3, we’ve scored a duck)
Depressing isn’t it?! Still, KLL’s going to fire 2 in against Coventry as the Seagulls blitz the Sky Blues in a Rocky-like comeback
For THOSE that DARE to QUESTION we are in the SHIT
Worrying Stats
We’re all aware generally of these but officially....
Disciplinary:
-top of the yellows league
-2nd top of the fouls-committed league
-And joint 4th of the reds league
He shot, he scored, he must be....(playing for the other team?):
-we’re 3rd bottom of the shots ON target league this season
-top of shots OFF target league (but also with the least number overall, I hasten to add)
-And in the last 9 games, we’ve had 29 shots on target e.g. just over 3 per game (but in two of the last 3, we’ve scored a duck)
Depressing isn’t it?! Still, KLL’s going to fire 2 in against Coventry as the Seagulls blitz the Sky Blues in a Rocky-like comeback
Vegas Seagull
New member
- Jul 10, 2009
- 7,782
Attack