Gazwag
5 millionth post poster
Why have elephants got big ears
Cos Noddy wouldn't pay the ransom
Cos Noddy wouldn't pay the ransom
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- Thread starter Northstander
- Start date
scarby
New member
A bloke sees a sign in front of a house in Belfast "Talking Dog For Sale".
He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back garden.
The bloke goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.
"Do you talk?" he asks the dog.
"Sure do," the dog replies.
"So what's your story?"
The dog looks up and says, "Well. I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told MI5 about my gift and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was voted 'Most Valuable Spy' eight years running.
"The jetting around really tired me out and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in"
"I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded loads of medals.
Had a wife, a few puppies and now I'm just retired."
The bloke is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog.
The owner says "Ten quid."
The bloke says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a f***ing liar. He ain't done any of that stuff he just told you."
He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back garden.
The bloke goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.
"Do you talk?" he asks the dog.
"Sure do," the dog replies.
"So what's your story?"
The dog looks up and says, "Well. I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told MI5 about my gift and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was voted 'Most Valuable Spy' eight years running.
"The jetting around really tired me out and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in"
"I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded loads of medals.
Had a wife, a few puppies and now I'm just retired."
The bloke is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog.
The owner says "Ten quid."
The bloke says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a f***ing liar. He ain't done any of that stuff he just told you."