Breaking News

[Northstander]

A lorry load of tortoises crashed into a lorry load of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster!

 

[Kinky Gerbil]

boom boom

 

[pasty]

 

[Benny Seagull]

 

[Theatre of Trees]

Apparrently a concrete mixing lorry has collided with a getaway car speeding away from a bank job. Police are looking for a number of hardened criminals.

(copyright The Two Ronnies, 1876)

 

[afters]

that's fantastic

 

[Biscuit]

A tourtoise was walking home one night with his shopping on his back when suddenly a gang of snails came over nicked his shopping and gave him a bit of a kicking. The tourtoise, naturally called the Police. But when asked what happened he replied..."Well, to be honest - it all happened to quickly".

 

[Wilts]

A ship carrying red paint has crashed into a ship carrying blue paint. The crew are said to be marooned.

 

[Northstander]

MOTHER OF GOD!! I THOUGHT MINE WAS A BAD JOKE!

 

[pasty]

Bloke goes to a fancy dress party with his girlfriend on his back. "I've come as a tortoise" he said, "this is Michelle"

 

[afters]

A ship carrying red paint has crashed into a ship carrying blue paint. The crew are said to be marooned.

that's a cracker

 

[zefarelly]

f*** me Pasty !

. . . . its the way you tell em

 

[Marc]

Bloke goes to a fancy dress party with his girlfriend on his back. "I've come as a tortoise" he said, "this is Michelle"

thats f***ing funny

 

[Digmut]

A bloke goes to a fancy dress in his under pants, the host asks "what are you supposed to be?
The bloke replies "a premature ejaculation"
"why?" says the host
"coz I've come in my pants"

 

[Titanic]

And another chap turns up with giving his girlfriend a piggyback.

The host asks "What have you come as ?"

"A snail !"

"How come ??" asks the host

He points to the girl and says "That's Michelle"

 

[SK1NT]

shall i tell u a joke about a high wall??





























better not, u might not get over it

boom boom

 

[Northstander]

FFS!

 

[Biscuit]

shall i tell u a joke about a high wall??





























better not, u might not get over it

boom boom

Then I won't tell you the joke about butter...


you might spread it.

 

[Northstander]

 

[Theatre of Trees]

A prison van has collided with a lorry load of figs. Police are looking for a number of men on the run.