Australia - hilarious

[Woodchip]

Olympics 2012: the alternative medals table | Sport | guardian.co.uk

You can then sort it by how countries rank according to GDP, Population or Team size

 

[Bozza]

The Australians targeted the men's coxless fours. Oh dear Australia.

 

[pipkin112]

GB beat the Aussies again in the rowing

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
Beat the Aussies once again
Isn't life a dream

 

[TheJasperCo]

Men's four. That is all.

 

[Smirko]

This is getting embarressing now, almost feel sorry for them, though not quite!

 

[Hugo Rune]

'Stralia are having a shit Olympics. . .hahahahahahahhahahaha!!!

 

[Smirko]

Article in Sydney Morning Herald End July this year!

Picture this: a British sports minister, dressed in a kookaburra-print shirt, dribbling a hockey ball through Australia House in central London.

Now picture this: an Australian sports minister, wearing a Union Jack-emblazoned Stella McCartney tee, rowing a length of the Olympic course at Eton Dorney.

The British and Australian gold medal counts at the end of the Olympic Games will determine whether it's Senator Kate Lundy, or her British counterpart Hugh Robertson, who has to concede defeat on a personal bet and publicly pay the price.


Britain's Sports minister Hugh Robertson could find himself dribbling a hockey ball through Australia House if the Brits win less gold than Australia.

The rider between the president of the Australian Olympic Committee and the head of the British Olympic Association is considerably more luxe.



John Coates and Lord Colin Moynihan shook on their deal seven years ago after London won the bid to host the 2012 Olympics.

"It started within days of the decision in Singapore, when John Coates challenged me to a magnum of champagne for every gold medal we won more than they did, and a bottle of champagne for every medal that we won more than they did," Lord Moynihan said when there was still a year to go until the opening ceremony.

"I told him to book a container because he's going to be paying out big time! That bet was made and we shook on it."

AOC medal predictions have varied in the lead up to the London Games, but at one stage forecast that the Australian and British teams would finish with 15 gold medals each. Predictions issued by Sports Illustrated this week tipped Australia will achieve its target by finishing fifth on the Olympic medal tally — with 16 gold from its smallest Olympic team since 1992 — while Great Britain will finish fourth with 23 gold.

In London for the two-week competition, Senator Lundy was prepared to stick her neck out and say Australia could win more gold than the British team.

"The home team advantage I think is strong....but I think we can do it," she said on Thursday.

"So many of the sports that we're up against the UK in are sports that we're both great at. The margins are the slimmest so anything can happen on the day, so I'm quite optimistic about it."

Sticking to his now well-worn line, Green stuck to making predictions about the team he is directing, predicting that fifth on the medal tally was the goal and reiterating he felt confident it could be achieved.

Whichever rival comes up trumps, champagne corks will be popping somewhere.


Read more: How we'll turn the British sports minister into a dribbling Kookaburra

 

[Woodchip]

Actually... f*** the Aussies. Bunch of sore losers

Aussie broadcaster wipes NZ off Olympic medal table | Television New Zealand | News, Sport, Weather, TV ONE, TV2 | TVNZ | OLYMPICS News

 

[JetsetJimbo]

I would guess a more likely explanation is that pre-games, the broadcaster set themselves up to show the top ten, presuming Australia would be amongst them. With their results, they'd then need to knock tenth place off the screen to show Australia's position.

My experience with Aussies is that they're usually very good losers, their lack of obvious bitterness when we've beaten them at cricket and rugby almost (almost) took the fun out of mocking them. It's when they win that they're insufferable!

 

[sydney]

The media here are the same as the media in England when you dissect them. A small few write utter shite, the rest provide a far more sensible and balanced view.

Attributing an online media hack to what's being written in all of the major media outlets here is a lazy way to sum up an event

You'd not attribute the general populations opinion in the UK on an issue going by what the Sun printed now would you?

The Herald Sun is the biggest selling paper in Oz. When Wiggo won his Gold they were very complementary towards his win and achievements in the last month.

But don't let a bad story get in the way of a good one haha

mate they are all at it , foxtel and the usual free to air tv "pundits".........make them fuckers try and do better , it's the same with the cricket and rugby union commentators....if they know so much why aren't they in a coaching position....?? f*** 'em

 

[Questions]

Oh dear I see the Aussie pair lost to our mixed doubles team in the tennis as well. Well done Murray and Robson.

 

[sydney]

Oh dear I see the Aussie pair lost to our mixed doubles team in the tennis as well. Well done Murray and Robson.

lleyton hewitt........don't get me started.

 

[Questions]

Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
Beat the Aussies once again
Isn't life a dream

Riding along on your push bike Aussie,
Following behind the Brits,
Riding along on your push bike Aussie,
Does it give you the shits,

You look so pretty as you are riding along,
You look so pretty, but you're not getting a gong, gong, gong.

Singing this song,

 

[melias shoes]

Riding along on your push bike Aussie,
Following behind the Brits,
Riding along on your push bike Aussie,
Does it give you the shits,

You look so pretty as you are riding along,
You look so pretty, but you're not getting a gong, gong, gong.

Singing this song,

Love it.

 

[Tooting Gull]

So...Australia won the first gold.

And it now stands Team GB 14 golds Aussie (still) 1.

What a night. I'm a generous man, not without human sympathy and pity, and I now say we should LEND them some for a couple of months.

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

So...Australia won the first gold.

Is Aussie Rules now in the Olympics ?

 

[Tyrone Biggums]

Sounds like this could have been a few people from this thread.

Fan arrested for abusing cyclist The Score

 

[Tooting Gull]

Sounds like this could have been a few people from this thread.

Fan arrested for abusing cyclist The Score

You really don't get it at all, do you - completely over your head why it's so funny that the Aussie media will find literally ANYTHING to talk about other than the fact that a) they are doing so badly, and b) that the Brits are doing so well.

While it's quite funny the Austalian cyclists/rowers/swimmers are all imploding, that is understandable, these things come in cycles and we will have our downturn in fortunes.

What I don't think you get at all is the laughable way the Australian media cover (or rather don't cover) sport when they are losing. It's the way a sulky child would edit a newspaper.

And we can consign the phrase 'Whingeing Pom' to the dustbin of history once and for all. Australia are THE worst losers in the world, bar none.

 

[Buffalo Seagull]

I feel like I must be in a minority of one on this site, in that I'm actually quite proud of how Australia are doing. Sure, it would have been nice to have a few more gold medals at this point, but that doesn't mean I'm not happy with the results that have been achieved. I am seemingly the only person here who doesn't see an Olympic silver medal as an amazing achievement. And when you consider the total number of medals we have won, I think we're actually still punching considerably above our weight.
(awaits humiliation from fellow NSCers)