Things you should NEVER EVER do!

[Shropshire Seagull]

Have a "Tommy" after applying deep heat ....

 

[The Antikythera Mechanism]

Floss your arse with the guest towel.

 

[albion534]

Pick the sweetcorn out of your shit and use it in your roast dinner

 

[maltaseagull]

Or shake vigorously a bottle of ketchup while sitting in a black and white tiled greek restaurant without checking your other half has screwed down the top

Be seen with a bottle of ketchup in your hand in any restaurant!

 

[Rusthall Seagull]

Tell your new boss the 'Gestapo' joke

 

[banjo]

Wipe your arse without toilet paper.

 

[Papa Lazarou]

Eat Shredded Wheat

 

[Puppet Master]

I shagged a bag of frozen peas once and had to put it back in the freezer. Don't do that.

 

[dougdeep]

Be seen with a bottle of ketchup in your hand in any restaurant!

Definitely. If you want everything to taste of sugary tomatoes then eat sugary tomatoes.

 

[Seagull kimchi]

eat yellow snow?

 

[hart's shirt]

Kiss and tell.

 

[father_and_son]

Borrow money from a man who's middle name is "The".

 

[happypig]

Try and out-stubborn a cat

 

[Grombleton]

Lunge wildly at the Pope.

 

[spongy]

Try to slice a tomato in an egg slicer to save time

 

[Coldeanseagull]

Answer 'yes' to the 'does this dress make my bum look big?' question

 

[Norman Potting]

Chop chilli and then rub your eyes.

 

[banjo]

Should never tie your knob to the top newel post then slide down the banister.

 

[DavidinSouthampton]

Chop chilli and then rub your eyes.

Chop chilli and then go to the loo, or handle your "manhood" for whatever other nefarious purpose, without washing your hands first.

 

[Billy the Fish]

Drink in a pub that has a flat roof