Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊

Red trousers



MattBackHome

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2003
11,731
Your mates didn't credit you with a huge imagination then?

Apparently not:

MBH: "I've just seen 13 magpies on the football field at once. That's weird isn't it?"
Mates: "No"
MBH: "How do you explain it then?"
Mates: "Simple. You're talking bullshit"
 






Postman Pat

Well-known member
Jul 24, 2007
6,971
Coldean
This morning I saw a magpie and, without thinking, saluted it. "Good morning Mr Magpie!"

Then another magpie appeared from behind a tree trunk and I realised they were a pair. And I attempted to de-salute the first magpie. But it’s tricky. How does one do this? It’s obviously some kind of uninstall procedure. But do you say the words backwards? Or do you explain in depth to the magpie that you are taking back your greeting? Or do you let the greeting stand?
 


This morning I saw a magpie and, without thinking, saluted it. "Good morning Mr Magpie!"

Then another magpie appeared from behind a tree trunk and I realised they were a pair. And I attempted to de-salute the first magpie. But it’s tricky. How does one do this? It’s obviously some kind of uninstall procedure. But do you say the words backwards? Or do you explain in depth to the magpie that you are taking back your greeting? Or do you let the greeting stand?

Shoot one in the face, works for me.
 






Twinkle Toes

Growing old disgracefully
Apr 4, 2008
11,138
Hoveside
What have Magpies and trees got to do with red trousers? If I had wanted to talk about Magpies and trees I would have posted look at my ****ing red Magpies or look at my ****ing red trees!!

It'll be to your eternal regret that you didn't, to be fair. :lol:

ps How did you manage to get hold of a pair of red Magpies? Do they require several elaborate salutes (akin to The Full Rimmer) from you in your red trousers; whilst pointing at each one alternately & singing: "Ooooh it's a Magpie..."??
 


MattBackHome

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2003
11,731
The giant redwoods of the Pacific North-West are spectacular. But they're not red. Why are redwoods called redwoods when they're not red?
 






Meade's Ball

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2003
13,612
Hither (sometimes Thither)
My salute comes in the guise of doffing an imaginary cap to magpies, whilst of course offering quiet kind regards to the spouse of one if i spot two birds side by side. No military or nazistic gesture from these paws. Only the gentlemanly approach.
With dogs, i tend to release a rather tender and squeaky bum whisper out of fear and dread for their flesh-gobbling intentions. The merest whiff of my cabbagey terror lets them know they're boss and i pass on by their cowering inferior at a distance.
 


The giant redwoods of the Pacific North-West are spectacular. But they're not red. Why are redwoods called redwoods when they're not red?

If you look at the bark it has a reddish hue to it, also if you peel back the bark and puncture the trunk a resin will come out which also has a reddish tinge to it.

I have no idea if you peeled back the skin of a magpie and punctured it the same would happen, I'll try later and report back.
 








dougdeep

New member
May 9, 2004
37,732
SUNNY SEAFORD
I've always led a life that follows the wise guidance of this ancient country saying ...

"When Oak and Ash be out in May, it don't mean nothing, either way".

Oak before Ash and we're in for a splash. Ash before Oak and we're in for a soak.
 


Pbseagull

New member
Sep 28, 2011
916
Eastbourne
Saluting Magpies??

I've done it since I was a kid, salute and say hello Mr Magpie how are you today, but only if I see one Magpie as it's supposed to be unlucky to see one on its own, as they mate for life, seeing just one is possible that it has lost its mate.
 




Wilko

LUZZING chairs about
Sep 19, 2003
9,924
BN1
Back on topic. I have a pair of red jeans which I really like. Last time I went out in town in them I got a bit of attention..............from men :(
 


hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
61,366
Chandlers Ford
Back on topic. I have a pair of red jeans which I really like. Last time I went out in town in them I got a bit of attention..............from men :(


I'm dissappointed to hear that Wilko. I never had you down as a tosser.
 








hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
61,366
Chandlers Ford
I do like them but also appreciate that they are indeed wanky, they are a bit 'look at me' it has to be said.

Living as I do, a stone's throw from Winchester, the spiritual home of the red trouser, I see a lot of men sporting the look. They are ALL wankers.

Please tell me you don't team them with deck shoes, a Gant shirt, and a jumper draped over your shoulders?
 


Aug 23, 2011
1,864
What have Magpies and trees got to do with red trousers? If I had wanted to talk about Magpies and trees I would have posted look at my ****ing red Magpies or look at my ****ing red trees!!

Ok to go back to your original question about hatred of red trousers. I don't think people hate them as shown here, there is a general indifference to them and we'd much rather talk about magpies. With your obsession with red are you the Queen of Hearts in disguise?
 


Albion and Premier League latest from Sky Sports


Top
Link Here