Oh help me parenting gurus of NSC.

[CheeseRolls]

We took him to return the stuff he'd stolen from the vets, having told them first, he left with a hug from the practice nurse :eyerolls:

Horse tranquillizers This is more serious than I thought.

 

[Stat Brother]

The general pattern would be, everything that he's told NO to having, he takes anyway.

He stole and ID tag and tick removers from the vets, he had a NO for the ID tag, for the dog.

 

[Questions]

When my son was about 4 or 5 I noticed the odd pound going missing after I had thrown my change on the side and asked by boy if he ever took any money. He quite openly said that he often did and was collecting it upstairs. I told him that he shouldn't really do that and to nip up to his bedroom and bring it down. Now bearing in mind I deal with a fair bit of cash now and again I was gobsmacked to find he had accumulated £ 180.00. I was quite chuffed really............it felt like a bonus. He had no idea what he was doing was wrong.

 

[Worthingite]

Perhaps just a serious b*llocking from your good self would be enough then? If he believes he's the king of perfect world, then bringing him down a peg or two might make him buck his idea's up - if he want's to talk the talk, he needs to walk the walk

 

[KneeOn]

He's got a little sister how can be quite horrid, she's firey and heart on her sleeve, with bouts of extreme violence.
Very close to being statemented at school, but is so blooming bright it's hoped she can work it out, and does show signs of improvement.

The thing is while all this is going on Jnr Stat loves it (and must be the catalyst for most of her behaviour) because he NEEDS to be little Mr Perfect, the best/first/quickest etc, and win everything.

Daughter Stat has had her longest period of 'normality', about 4 weeks, and he's hating it, his secret stash has been found, but as said he still thinks he's The King of Perfect World, inhabitant 1.

Sounds similar to my sister/me.

Shock/scare tactics. Make him realize that he isn't always right and needs to sharpen up - defiantly talk to your PCSO about getting up to Hollingbury. I'm gonna guess you and Mrs Stat spend a lot of time dealing with Miss Stat? He might just be begging for your attention, hopefully if you give him the attention but attention he doesn't want he'll start to find some more constructive ways to get your attention. Without wanting to sound all knowing because I am still (only just) a teenager I kinda can see why he's doing it because it's why i did it. I was always wondering why i'm never made a fuss of and have to be so independent until i hit the age when I could see everything for what it was and realized that despite their best efforts parent's get tired too!

 

[Stat Brother]

Perhaps just a serious b*llocking from your good self would be enough then? If he believes he's the king of perfect world, then bringing him down a peg or two might make him buck his idea's up - if he want's to talk the talk, he needs to walk the walk

That's the problem, I just can't 'prick the bubble' he lives in.
Believe me I've blooming well tried, I'm amazed all I feel I'm left with is a thwack.

I won't do it, I'm just gob smacked he's taken the lot and I'm still not getting through.

 

[Worthingite]

That's the problem, I just can't 'prick the bubble' he lives in.
Believe me I've blooming well tried, I'm amazed all I feel I'm left with is a thwack.

I won't do it, I'm just gob smacked he's taken the lot and I'm still not getting through.

Nah, get the rozzers in to do a short sharp shock. Maybe ask Edna K for some advice on it??

 

[Stat Brother]

Maybe ask Edna K for some advice on it??

I think a kickin in the cells, is going a bit too far

 

[Worthingite]

I think a kickin in the cells, is going a bit too far

Police brutality never did me any harm - see?

 

[junior]

If he's adopted, can't you give him back?

 

[1066familyman]

Quick question, it's a bit personal - do you have another child that is more... problematic? Both me and my sister went through a phase like this. I did it around 12/13 for attention and remained a bit of a cock until 14/15 as a result of my parents attention being constantly focused on my troublesome sister who went through this phase from 12 until 16 - and was/is a shit still sometimes.

Otherwise PCSO. When i did it, i stole from the Co OP by my school until my friend got caught and he said he knew i was doing it but didn't catch me.

I bought a pack of revels and a pack of Polo's from the change i was given for the papers and a chat with an officer stopped me there and then. You say you don't want to resort to corporal punishment, i did get the odd smack on the bum/leg when i was REALLY out of line, but in this case, i wasn't.

Get the highest ranking uniformed police officer friend you can to have a word. See if they can't take him up the Custody suite for a tour. It might seem harsh to scare him like that but it does work.

Big danger of a back fire here I think if attention seeking is at the root of it all. This will only indulge him if you bring in outside agencies to indulge him, and may even persuade him to up the ante to gain even more attention.

However, the consequences to actions lesson is a vital one to be taught I think and he needs to know his behaviour is not acceptable. I'd make that point clearly and firmly, but not labour it. I admire your stand on hitting, I'd never raise a hand to any of mine as I'm a great believer in violence begetting violence, and besides, as parents we have a 1001 tools in our box before we resort to smacking. For me, smacking is an admission of failure, aside from being damn right cruel and an abuse of your position ( this isn't to say I don't believe in tough love).

My signature used to be : "Children need your presence more than your presents". I'd go down the route of talking to him to see if he can explain his actions openly and honestly and letting him know you're on his side but that his actions will need to change. Give him as much of your time as possible, but without indulging him as such. Very tricky balance to be struck, but hey, who ever said parenting was going to be easy.

Good luck.

 

[Weststander]

Big danger of a back fire here I think if attention seeking is at the root of it all. This will only indulge him if you bring in outside agencies to indulge him, and may even persuade him to up the ante to gain even more attention.

However, the consequences to actions lesson is a vital one to be taught I think and he needs to know his behaviour is not acceptable. I'd make that point clearly and firmly, but not labour it. I admire your stand on hitting, I'd never raise a hand to any of mine as I'm a great believer in violence begetting violence, and besides, as parents we have a 1001 tools in our box before we resort to smacking. For me, smacking is an admission of failure, aside from being damn right cruel and an abuse of your position ( this isn't to say I don't believe in tough love).

My signature used to be : "Children need your presence more than your presents". I'd go down the route of talking to him to see if he can explain his actions openly and honestly and letting him know you're on his side but that his actions will need to change. Give him as much of your time as possible, but without indulging him as such. Very tricky balance to be struck, but hey, who ever said parenting was going to be easy.

Good luck.

Well said.

No need for hitting or shouting violently.

Deal with it firmly as soon after the discovery as possible, so that he clearly links the misdemeanour with the repercussions. An armoury of punishments or techniques for encouraging positive behaviour are in your armoury eg ban and stick to on all IT devices.... that will really hurt!

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

I think a kickin in the cells, is going a bit too far

Don't worry as this never happens; they fall down the stairs.

 

[Stat Brother]

As his behaviour has snowballed, over the week or so, so have the consequences.

So far he's had no Wii, no DS, no Easter, no responsibility (obviously he craves responsibility), rollockings from us, his head teacher (stolen from school, too), words/shame with the vets, and had to write to all the people he's returned Easter eggs too, explaining why.

He's currently in his room, and may well eat his tea there.

Little Miss Stat is crashed out watching a film, I guess you get to a point when this parenting lark is a piece of wee-wee.

 

[Sompting_Seagull]

A trip to Lewes prison for a chat with a few lags works well, that's if he continues into his teens and YOT get involved.

 

[TheMajor]

8 year old jnr stat has been on a stealing and lying mission, over the last few weeks.
It all came to light a week ago, and so far no consequence has even 'pricked his bubble'.

So much so in fact he's carried on stealing from shops, as well as other thefts from around the house.


Long before getting to this point, 8 year old me, I would have taken one of the very few slaps that was handed out, in my yoof.

For lots of reasons I can't/don't want to 'solve the problem with violence', to adopted Jnr Stat, but it's sure as hell what I think he 'needs'.


Come on chaps I need some consequences that'll make him sit up and take notice.

Beat the shite out of him and tell him if he does it again you will beat the shite out of him again - technically incorrect in these pc days but the right answer nethertheless.

 

[AZ Gull]

If he's adopted, can't you give him back?

(I feel your pain Mr Stat, but it did make me laugh out loud).

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

Buy him a palace strip and tell that if he wants to be a thieving toe rag he might as well look like one.

 

[happypig]

stick the wii on ebay and show him the listing. tell him he has 7 days to turn over a new leaf. repeat until he has either admitted he is wrong or has no stuff left.

 

[Thunder Bolt]

As his behaviour has snowballed, over the week or so, so have the consequences.

So far he's had no Wii, no DS, no Easter, no responsibility (obviously he craves responsibility), rollockings from us, his head teacher (stolen from school, too), words/shame with the vets, and had to write to all the people he's returned Easter eggs too, explaining why.

He's currently in his room, and may well eat his tea there.

Little Miss Stat is crashed out watching a film, I guess you get to a point when this parenting lark is a piece of wee-wee.

I think you need to let him know that you love him but not the way that he acts. It is vital that he feels secure in your love but that his behaviour is unacceptable and will have consequences outside of the home that you have no control over if he continues.
I would be in the 'get a copper to talk to him' camp. I did have a problem with my son when he was 8, but it only happened once. The taking him to apologise and give it back, worked, but you've already done that.