My wife’s COOKING is making me a LAUGHING STOCK on our street....

[Iggle Piggle]

Around 2 and a half years ago, I got sick of my ex-wife’s DREADFUL cooking and divorced her. If you think thats harsh, bear in mind that year upon year upon year she produced some of the worst food on our street. I used to dread mealtimes, and she quite literally “stank the place out”. I got food poisoning 19 times.

Was that the one who bought the wrong food, cooked the food at the wrong time and couldn't even work out the instructions for the f***ing oven. She then did the same thing all over again with some numbnuts in Sheffield?

 

[KZNSeagull]

Very good.

Have you tried TV meals - there is usually instant satisfaction to be found most weekends to suit your discerning and impatient approach to marriage (but not in the summer).

 

[Chesney Christ]

Was that the one who bought the wrong food, cooked the food at the wrong time and couldn't even work out the instructions for the f***ing oven. She then did the same thing all over again with some numbnuts in Sheffield?

She kept putting cheese in every meal. Every single meal. Even if it didn't fit well in the meal or have any place there. She often put the cheese in the wrong bit of the meal too.

 

[Frutos]

Sounds like she could do with clearing out a few ingredients which are probably past their use-by date now and replacing them with some new, fresher ones.

If, as well as that, she can find a way to get more use of some of the special ingredients she already has then things should improve nicely.

 

[perseus]

Aunt Bessie had three daughters ....... and .................

 

[Mellotron]

i like food

 

[Capricorn]

 

[KZNSeagull]

Was it home made laughing stock or out of a packet?

 

[MattBackHome]

Don't forget you moved to a street full of much better cooks too.

 

[Randsta]

Keep eating it ...it may kill you!

 

[Silent Bob]

Get rid and bring in an old fashioned English wife to cook in the English way, play two up front... two meals... and never change a winning recipe.

 

[banjo]

What's your neighbour like ? if she's fit and good at cooking, just threaten to move next door. Should do the trick.

 

[Thunder Bolt]

Roll on August 18th.

 

[Lady Gull]

Maybe its your way of your wife getting rid of you in a round about way? Cook shit food and hope he files for divorce? Stranger things have happened?

 

[Frutos]

Roll on August 18th.

Is that what his wife is making that day then? Swiss roll perhaps? Or Arctic Roll? Sausage Roll maybe?

 

[Drumstick]

Key question is does she have any good sauces?

 

[Phat Baz 68]

And you intend to stay married , How much longer ?

 

[Westdene Wonder]

Try to help her,for her birthday give her a cookery course if this does not do the trick give her another course for Christmas faced with the prospect of never ending courses she is bound to improve.

 

[Lord Bracknell]

Bloody hell! Can't you remember the stale bread and marge that you were eating in 1998? You should be grateful to have a kitchen today. Stop complaining about what's being cooked in it.

 

[Icy Gull]

Is she hoping to get back with her first love and just using you as a stepping stone? Does she talk about him at every garden fence discussion? I bet he lives in a fashionable part of London too.