My wife’s COOKING is making me a LAUGHING STOCK on our street....

[Pbseagull]

Actually, I don't think it's about cooking at all. I'm guessing it's something to do with hi-fi's? Or cars?

I'm thinking that it's more that the OP just doesn't understand his wife and is feeling a bit disapointed that her cooking has not suddenly become 2 or 3 Michelin star standard, to be fair after 3 years of marriage it's surely not a lot to ask is it? even without the OP upping her shopping budget, she MUST be able to improve or I'm afraid it might be bye bye wifey and then onto another new wife who is able to produce cordon bleu meals on a tight budget ( I've heard that there are a few around who by no fault of there own are currently unattached and looking for someone to look after and cook high quality meals for)

 

[Vegas Seagull]

I'm presuming it is accepted terminogy & common slang usage in South America to call a husband 'a wife' & given that, good post Mrs P

 

[DumLum]

Should I divorce her?

I wanted to bring this to the attention of the NSC masses as I am getting very ANGRY about my wife’s complete and utter LACK OF AMBITION when it comes to cooking.

Around 2 and a half years ago, I got sick of my ex-wife’s DREADFUL cooking and divorced her. If you think thats harsh, bear in mind that year upon year upon year she produced some of the worst food on our street. I used to dread mealtimes, and she quite literally “stank the place out”. I got food poisoning 19 times.

So I divorced her and got a new wife. My new wife was amazing. Within her first full year as my wife she consistently produced the best food on the street by a country mile... week in week out. This despite the fact that I gave her a budget to work from that was not as high as several of the other wives on the street.

But things have changed. After her brilliant first year, I moved us to a new street where the standard of cooking was much higher. She started off very well, but soon the fact that she was operating on a lower budget than the majority of other wives on the street had an effect. Some of them were spending triple what she was on ingredients and as a result producing better meals.

She was producing some very good meals, granted, but she was inconsistent. At the end of our first year on this street, she has been above average overall.

Pretty impressive given the budgetary restrictions, yeah?

WRONG. Her inconsistent cooking and lack of CLEAR SUCCESS does not fit at all with my PERMANENT SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT and obsession with INSTANT GRATIFICATION.

Quite frankly, I have a DIVINE RIGHT to be served the best meals in the street. Why? Because I said so, thats why.

So, I think I should divorce her and get a new wife. What do you think?

Mmmmm, I don't usually like getting involved in domestics but I think I should give you a little heads up.

Your Mrs has always banged on about living in Woodland Drive ever since you started dating, even if it meant leaving you for another man! Don't forget her childhood sweetheart lives in Woodland drive either. She has always stated she would go back to him given half a chance. Also, every time you don't see eye to eye she threatens to go back and live with her parents. Does that not annoy you a little?

I've been coming to your dinner parties for years, no matter where you lived or how crap your house was. The quality of the food has varied greatly since my first dinner-party in 1979.

Your new house is amazing and the number of people that attend your parties has more than doubled. However it is a fact that not everybody gets on with your new wife (Don't forget that you actually charge us to come to your house). She will only ever use the slow oven (Sometimes a conventional oven will do.) and always adds salt to everything(It's like she has Barns of the stuff.) she has even added salt to the dessert on many occasions.

The other night when all you were providing us was beans on toast as the main, people were shouting out 'Why don't you just use the toaster for the toast' she insisted on using the slow oven again. A lot of people went home hungry that night, apparently the food was served as people were leaving.

Some of the best dinner parties I have ever been to, have been with your new wife in your new home. However they seem few and far between these days and I'm concerned some of your 'Diner come latelys ' will stop coming. They think some of your house rules are a bit over the top especially the one about not being able to drink at the table. You may have to have a word with the Mrs about the way she acts or they may stop coming.

I wish you and your wife a happy marriage with many more parties ahead....but don't forget love is blind.

PS What ever happened to your wife's Spanish Signiture dish? That was possibly the best food I ever tasted.

 

[Westdene Wonder]

Give her a Cookery Course for Christmas with the promise this will be repeated until she reaches a decent standard.

 

[South Stand Bonfire]

What was the worst meal that your wife has served you in the last two years. Have you EVER had the inclination or indeed actually left the table without finishing your meal?

Should I divorce her?

I wanted to bring this to the attention of the NSC masses as I am getting very ANGRY about my wife’s complete and utter LACK OF AMBITION when it comes to cooking.

Around 2 and a half years ago, I got sick of my ex-wife’s DREADFUL cooking and divorced her. If you think thats harsh, bear in mind that year upon year upon year she produced some of the worst food on our street. I used to dread mealtimes, and she quite literally “stank the place out”. I got food poisoning 19 times.

So I divorced her and got a new wife. My new wife was amazing. Within her first full year as my wife she consistently produced the best food on the street by a country mile... week in week out. This despite the fact that I gave her a budget to work from that was not as high as several of the other wives on the street.

But things have changed. After her brilliant first year, I moved us to a new street where the standard of cooking was much higher. She started off very well, but soon the fact that she was operating on a lower budget than the majority of other wives on the street had an effect. Some of them were spending triple what she was on ingredients and as a result producing better meals.

She was producing some very good meals, granted, but she was inconsistent. At the end of our first year on this street, she has been above average overall.

Pretty impressive given the budgetary restrictions, yeah?

WRONG. Her inconsistent cooking and lack of CLEAR SUCCESS does not fit at all with my PERMANENT SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT and obsession with INSTANT GRATIFICATION.

Quite frankly, I have a DIVINE RIGHT to be served the best meals in the street. Why? Because I said so, thats why.

So, I think I should divorce her and get a new wife. What do you think?

 

[jackanada]

Well your wife has made some interesting additions to the larder, these did lead to some entertaining meals but then she combined them differently and it all went a bit stale for a while. Things have picked up though and there was even a decentish meal the other week which didnt feature her often overlooked new potato which somehow brings the whole thing together.
As others have eluded to if she could somehow find that slightly elderly jar of spanish pimenton (has it fallen down the back of the cupboard?) - I remember last year that when she could get the thing to open it really lifted the entire meal.