If you had 5 minutes in the dressing room with the team before the game tomorrow..........

[deletebeepbeepbeep]

Lads? Life is just a series of peaks and troughs, and you don't whether you're in a trough until you're climbing out, or on a peak until you're coming down. And that's it, you know, you never know what's round the corner. But it's all good. "If you want the rainbow you've got to put up with the rain". Do you know which "philosopher" said that? Dolly Parton. And people say she's just a big pair of TITS.

Now go out there and smash it.

Excellent!!

 

[countryman]

Lads? Life is just a series of peaks and troughs, and you don't whether you're in a trough until you're climbing out, or on a peak until you're coming down. And that's it, you know, you never know what's round the corner. But it's all good. "If you want the rainbow you've got to put up with the rain". Do you know which "philosopher" said that? Dolly Parton. And people say she's just a big pair of TITS.

Now go out there and smash it.

That is brilliant.

 

[John Bumlick]

"Right, everyone out.... except you Orlandi. Now, take that silly football kit off."

 

[Guinness Boy]

"See the three people in the stupid comedy bird suits? F*** up today and that's you against Blackpool"

 

[7:18]

I'd make them re-enact that scene from Mighty Ducks 2. Get each of them to stand up and say their name and where their from.

Then instead of quacking I'd make everyone go "AAAAR ARR ARRR ARRR ARRRRRR ARRR ARRRR!!!!!" like a seagull.

Edit: This one!

this gave me a proper belly-laugh, thanks, needed that! Excellent post.

 

[Stat Brother]

I'd probably just get Calde to touch me. (not there)

I appreciate it's not exactly Braveheart, but I assume it'll cure my bad back.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

I am Barrel of Fun.

And I see a whole army of my countrymen, in the stands, here in defiance of train troubles, lack of pies and overpriced beer!
You have come to fight as well paid professionals. And well paid professionals you are! What will you do for ninety minutes? Will you fight?

Fight and we may lose. Run and you will live at least awhile. And dying in your bed many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance, to come back here as young men and tell our enemies that they may take our pride but they will never take the last spot in the playoffs!

 

[edna krabappel]

Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where's the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life.

Now, guys: let's win this, and remember to pick up the spare man at corners.

 

[Stevie Boy]

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

Not before the game - but at half-time I would get John Sitton on the case ........

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Oldie - but still worth a watch.

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

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This one is even better.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

I'd say: 'Nathan, you may leave us now. Gentlemen, may I introduce Danny Cullip. He used to work for us at Withdean. Over to you Danny...'

OR

I'd say: Gentlemen, may I introduce Rocketman. He used to work for us at Withdean. Now, gentlemen, please lower your shorts and bend over. Over to you Rocketman...'

 

[bravohotelalpha]

and 5 minutes after the game I would jump in the bath with the lot of them

 

[sydney]

What would you say to them?

I would remind them of the fact that there will be 28,000 (ish) people out there, who work hard to earn the money to buy their tickets.

They deserve a performance of skill and flair, underpinned by effort, passion and commitment.

that .....but i would also say that they didn't come here for tippy ****in tappy so lets get the **** aaart there and rip these turnips appart and put the faarking wind up all deez over cants who is chasing this last play off spot what we could have had already if we weren't so ****in LIMP...NOW OFF YOU GO AND DO THE JOB YOU CAAAANTS.

 

[Hiney]

It's difficult to imagine Oscar getting fired up like we would though.

He seems to have the same expression for every interview.

I bet that's his SEX face as well

 

[Ernest]

My NAME is ENREST please don't PUNCH me INDIGO or BURNO I was only JOKING

 

[Stat Brother]

It's difficult to imagine Oscar getting fired up like we would though.

He seems to have the same expression for every interview.

I bet that's his SEX face as well

On the 2 occasions I've seen Oscar away from match day he clearly just isn't 'that' fella.

He's no time for fake platitudes, rabble rousing, jingoism, unruly behaviour, and disorder.

Oscar says it, you do it, simple.

 

[sydney]

It's difficult to imagine Oscar getting fired up like we would though.

He seems to have the same expression for every interview.

I bet that's his SEX face as well

uh...what eez dis ?? spernk..? i am a bit soree...dis az niver appen b4..... goodnight.

 

[Psychobilly freakout]

quick game of hungry hippos and as we leaving the changing rooms I get the lads to all mince onto the pitch to "If your happy and you know it"

 

[Seasidesage]

Win you *******s?!!!