Hans' photo-diary

[Dave the OAP]

You are most wanted mate.

Come back NOW!!!!!!!!

I cannot forget your jumping up and down in front of keepers that led to many a goal in the old days.



Please come back!!!!!!!!!

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Shadly, I am not shure my kneesh are up to the bounshing anymore. Maybe I could come over ash a shpecial bounsh coach, and teach the youngshters how to put off the keepersh. I have heard good reportsh from my freindsh about a young player there called Coxsh. Ish he very tall? Maybe I can coach him to bounsh?

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Please come back!!!!!!!!!

Hey sheagulls fansh, Hansh here.

I am told that now ish a good time to come back to shpread shome love.

I am not sho great with wordsh, sho I will jusht shing or you, a versh of my new shingle, "I'd like to teach the world to shing"



"I'd like to build the world a home
And furnish it with love
Grow apple treesh and honey beesh and snow-white turtle dovsh

I'd like to teach the world to shing
In perfect harmony
I'd like to hold it in my armsh and keep it company
I'd like to shee the world for onsh
All shtanding hand in hand
And hear them echo through the hillsh "Ah, peace throughout the land"

I hope that makesh everyone feel a little bit happier. God blessh you all.

 

[Northstander]

where yer been Hans?

 

[mejonaNO12 aka riskit]

my sides

 

[hans kraay fan club]

where yer been Hans?

Well Mishter Northshtander, thatsh a good queshtion.

I deshided to shit down with Ellemieke and tell her once and for all, exshactly how I felt. She laughed at me, then told everyone at the shtation. They all took the pissh out of me relentlesshly for daysh, sho I did the only thing I could - I flounshed right out of there.

I shpent a few weeksh in the country with shome cowsh, and now I am shorted. Good lishtenersh cowsh.

 

[The Auditor]

At the end of half time Hans was doing a pitch side interview at the England v Holland game last night

 

[Trufflehound]

At the end of half time Hans was doing a pitch side interview at the England v Holland game last night

He does the pitch-side TV interviews for all the Dutch international games.

 

[Franks Wild Years]

Hans, can you tell us how the death of beloved race horse Des-Lynham Orchid has been recieved in Holland.

 

[Trufflehound]

Hans, can you tell us how the death of beloved race horse Des-Lynham Orchid has been recieved in Holland.

[serious]On the whole the tragic event has been criminally ignored over here. But the few reports I have come across have mainly concentrated on taking the piss out of the English (this is something the Dutch just love to do) for getting so upset about a f***ing horse.[/serious]

 

[hans kraay fan club]

He does the pitch-side TV interviews for all the Dutch international games.

Yesh, yesh I do. Ash a have shaid before, I am the Dutch Andy Shtegall.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Hans, can you tell us how the death of beloved race horse Des-Lynham Orchid has been recieved in Holland.

You have to appreshiate Frank, that the horsh ish not sho revered here ash in England. We are not quite ash harsh ash thoshe shnivelling little bashtards in Belgium who like to barbeque them, but there will be few tearsh.

I hate the Belgiansh.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Hey people. Itsh Hansh. I have shpectacular newsh, on the Ellemieke front. I wash getting nowhere trying to shedushe her, sho shomebody shuggeshted "Make her jealoush".

What better way to do that, than to 'get freindly' with her mother? I don't know why I never thought of it before.

She'sh not the youngesht, but she'sh grateful, if you know what I mean. Ellemieke ish bound to be jealuosh when she findsh out, and I reckon I'll be in there.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Even if it doeshn't work out that way, her Mother hashh a key to Ellemieke's flat, sho at the very leasht I get to go through all her pantsh.

 

[Franks Wild Years]

Hey Hans. Have you got a Wesht Sham ticket ?

 

[brightonbc]

f***ing legend, i bet he couldnt stand in front of the keeper and jump up and down in todays game

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Hey Frank.

I wash thinking of popping over to the Hammersh clash to meet up with my old mate Wendy Wilkinsh, but unfortunately the shtation were having none of it.

Apparently I musht cover AK Edam v FC Ganga in the shecond qualifying round of the Dutch cup that weekend.

Shtill, I will shee the highlightsh on Match of the Day via shatelite. With Alan Hanshen's inshiteful shummary it will almosht be like being there.

Don't undershtand that lawwrenshon guy though - he shpeaksh funny.

 

[army ali]

Superb thread - This is legendary.



I loved that guy! (not literally)

 

[Franks Wild Years]

Hey Hans, The man above, Army All loved you, but not litterally, was that a let down ?

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Thish ish Holland Frank. ALL kindsh of love are cool.