Glass hammers, tartan paint etc

[SK1NT]

Air bubbles for a spirit level

 

[Nibble]

When I worked In a fitness centre years ago we got the work experience kid out to get some underwater paint to paint the lines on the bottom of the pool. We convinced him you could get paint that allows you to paint the lines while the water was still in the pool.

I wasn't there at the time but the others managed to convince a lad to put a snorkel and flippers on and sweep the bottom of the pool with a broom.

 

[OzMike]

I told someone to go get me a long wait from the stores, they came back and said the storeman asked how long I wanted it.

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

Four candles?

 

[father_and_son]

Have used a number of the ones mentioned with various degrees of success but the "new bubble for a spirit level" was very successful for us.
We had our work experience lad back and forth to Wicks a number of times discussing colour, shape and size with their manager before he came back with a box ans a note that just said "nice one".


My personal favourite was many years ago, working in McDonalds, we made a [less than bright] lad stocktake ice cubes - counting them in the machine, while the machine was on and dropping another batch of cubes in every couple of minutes. He got seriously angry because he couldn't do it and all the help he got was "well, no one else has ever had a problem" from everyone else working the shift.

 

[father_and_son]

Did anyone see that episode of The Island with Bear Grylls where they convinced the Essex lad a haggis was a four-legged, purple animal found running around the hills in Scotland

But its true!!! They have one pair of legs shorter than the other so they can stand up straight on mountainsides and if the left legs are shorter it a "Windershuns Haggis" and they are extremely rare!

 

[Northstander]

Sent a youngster down to local hardware store once for a box of fallopian tubes....he wasnt happy when he came back

 

[Lord Bracknell]

I once heard a customer asking for Organic Sea Salt in the Farm Shop at Middle Farm, Firle. What was really impressive was the shop assistant's knowledge of chemistry, as she patiently replied: "NO".

 

[C1 BHA]

Couple of Air Force classics, a long stand and a bucket of prop wash

 

[Guinness Boy]

Sent a youngster down to local hardware store once for a box of fallopian tubes....he wasnt happy when he came back

I thought fallopian tube was the Greek underground...

 

[BBassic]

Skyhooks is a good one

My dad used to get me with this all the bloody time.

He'd also, from time to time, send me to the van to get a new bubble for his spirit level.

Git.

 

[Ned]

Often sent apprentices to the stores to get a "small bas tard file" only for the stores man to send them back with an apology that he only had a bloody big bugger of a file.

 

[TWOCHOICEStom]

When I was about 13 I got sent up the road to get some sky hooks from the hardware shop by my Dad and his colleagues. The guy in the shop knew exactly what was up, so sent me back down the road TWICE. Once to see what size I needed (It was extremely important I get that right apparently) and once to see whether it was cast iron or steel finish (you need different ones for different skies)

The second trip back down the hill resulted in the staff (including my Dad) all laughing their arses off at me outside. *******s.

 

[Worthingite]

I messed up by sending a new member of bar staff out for a glass hammer...... He came back 2 hours later with a glass hammer to break fire alarms. They do exist, and I wasted a fiver on something I would literally never use. Should have been more specific

 

[¡Cereal Killer!]

We once convinced a KP that he had to stock rotate paper towels.

 

[Garage_Doors]

We sent apprentices from the machine shop to get some sparks for the grinder.

 

[tip top]

I've heard many on site over the years but a personal favourite of mine many years ago was an apprentice plumber being sent off to get some ring piece lubricant. Poor sod

 

[Ludensian Gull]

Wire netting seeds

 

[Nibble]

I heard of one, but don't know if it ever happened. Doubt it but anyway. You give the new lad a handheld fire extinguisher and a sealed envelope and tell him he has to go and get the seals checked on it but before he goes can he pop into the boss's office and give him the envelope as it contains the paperwork he needs to get signed. Inside the envelope is not the paperwork but a note reading "Give me a pay rise you miser or I'll squirt you".

If that's not an urban myth you'd better hope you have a boss with a sense of humour.

 

[Puppet Master]

Managed to convince my young niece that there was such things as an inflatable dartboard and a solar powered torch. She also believed that her goldfish needed a water bowl when I said it looked thirsty