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[Albion] Garth Crooks (made-up) Team of the Week 2023/24



scwiffy

Well-known member
Jun 24, 2011
243
Wow, that's bad even for Crooks but at least he didn't mention any of the other big 6 in his Dunk bit. But typically, out of the 3 paragraphs, 1 sentence is relevant to Dunk, the second paragraph is about bad tackles and the third is all about Sheffield United.

But the most bemusing bit is "If players are behaving like this in matches, it will have been spotted in training and it needs to stop." The horror challenge on Mitoma was the worst I've seen on a pitch in 10 years, there's no chance in hell that challenge is happening in training, what the F**k is he banging on about?
 




Anger

Well-known member
Jul 21, 2017
329
He’s picked a Brighton player purely to have a go at Sheffield United. The foul and Wilder’s partial defence of ‘physical’ challenges was a big talking point at the weekend and it was obviously irresistible to Garth as an opportunity to weigh in on it.

It could have been one of a few candidates in our team. He could have picked Adingra for bagging a brace so soon after his AFCON triumph and use it to praise him for that. He could have picked Gilmour for running the midfield or Mitoma for getting his knee clattered which set us on the road to victory. So many choice.
 


zeemeeuw

Well-known member
Apr 8, 2006
696
Somerset
His is one job that can certainly be replaced by AI:

  1. The Guardian of the Net: Ederson, the silent sentinel, stood tall, His gloves a shield against destiny’s call. With cat-like reflexes, he thwarted Sterling’s aim, A guardian of City’s hopes, etching his name.
  2. Semedo, the Winged Wolf: From the Black Country’s heart he emerged, Semedo, the winged wolf, relentless and surged. His cleats danced on dew-kissed blades of green, A symphony of speed and grace, rarely seen.
  3. Dunk, the Seagull’s Beacon: Lewis Dunk, Brighton’s rock, unyielding and true, His towering presence defied the winds that blew. A header, a beacon, igniting the Amex sky, As the Seagulls soared, leaving rivals awry.
  4. Murillo, Nottingham’s Bastion: Murillo, the unsung hero, clad in Forest green, His sinewy frame a fortress, resolute and keen. Against West Ham’s tide, he stood firm and bold, A wall of defiance, stories yet untold.
 


Greg Bobkin

Silver Seagull
May 22, 2012
15,245
He’s picked a Brighton player purely to have a go at Sheffield United. The foul and Wilder’s partial defence of ‘physical’ challenges was a big talking point at the weekend and it was obviously irresistible to Garth as an opportunity to weigh in on it.

It could have been one of a few candidates in our team. He could have picked Adingra for bagging a brace so soon after his AFCON triumph and use it to praise him for that. He could have picked Gilmour for running the midfield or Mitoma for getting his knee clattered which set us on the road to victory. So many choice.
Maybe CW caught Garth eating a sandwich in front of him, had a go at him and now Garth wants to get his own back.
 






pasty

A different kind of pasty
Jul 5, 2003
30,659
West, West, West Sussex
Astonishing omission this week. Left out Braithwaite, a goal scoring centre back. Normally a shoe-in 😂
 


Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patron
Oct 8, 2003
53,290
Faversham
Astonishing omission this week. Left out Braithwaite, a goal scoring centre back. Normally a shoe-in 😂
That's as maybe. But did this geezer get into the side? ???

1709031857249.png
 


hart's shirt

Well-known member
Jul 8, 2003
10,568
Kitbag in Dubai
Garth is back on form this week.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/68704746

Having chosen Cole Palmer, 3 of the 4 paragraphs are about Mudryk's penalty.

Palmer gets a single sentence praising the coolness for his penalty, but the other 2 sentences criticize the way he scored it.

:lolol:


Cole Palmer (Chelsea)

I've seen some poor decisions in my time but the penalty awarded to Chelsea for the apparent foul on Mykhailo Mudryk by Burnley's Lorenz Assignon was about as farcical as it gets.

Darren England's assessment of the situation was appalling. He awarded a penalty to a player whose first touch was so poor he sent the ball in the direction of the defender - who then inevitably made shoulder contact with the striker. Not every bit of contact in the box has to be a penalty. The issue is whether it is a foul or not.

For England to seriously consider the contact on Mudryk a penalty was laughable. However, having sent Assignon off for a second yellow he should have at least sought confirmation from the touchline monitor which is now available to referees - but he did not. It is hardly surprising Burnley boss Vincent Kompany completely lost it on the side of the pitch.

The way Palmer dispatched his penalty showed he has supreme confidence in his own ability. But his dinked finish was bordering on 'taking the Michael' and players have a way of dealing with that. If he's not careful he may have his wings clipped.
 




Bombardier

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 22, 2004
821
Hove actually
Garth is back on form this week.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/68704746

Having chosen Cole Palmer, 3 of the 4 paragraphs are about Mudryk's penalty.

Palmer gets a single sentence praising the coolness for his penalty, but the other 2 sentences criticize the way he scored it.

:lolol:


Cole Palmer (Chelsea)

I've seen some poor decisions in my time but the penalty awarded to Chelsea for the apparent foul on Mykhailo Mudryk by Burnley's Lorenz Assignon was about as farcical as it gets.

Darren England's assessment of the situation was appalling. He awarded a penalty to a player whose first touch was so poor he sent the ball in the direction of the defender - who then inevitably made shoulder contact with the striker. Not every bit of contact in the box has to be a penalty. The issue is whether it is a foul or not.

For England to seriously consider the contact on Mudryk a penalty was laughable. However, having sent Assignon off for a second yellow he should have at least sought confirmation from the touchline monitor which is now available to referees - but he did not. It is hardly surprising Burnley boss Vincent Kompany completely lost it on the side of the pitch.

The way Palmer dispatched his penalty showed he has supreme confidence in his own ability. But his dinked finish was bordering on 'taking the Michael' and players have a way of dealing with that. If he's not careful he may have his wings clipped.
Garth still full of his own self importance Zzzzzzzzzzzz
 








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