Bottom wiping

[emphyrian]

Just been for my mid morning coffee poo, and thought i would use a different wiping technique. normally i scrunch the toilet paper up and give a good wipe, but today i went for the folded paper technique. Wasnt too impressed as i got a bit of poop on my finger and therefore had to revert back to my trusted paper crunching method.

Just wondering if there are any other bum wiping methods out there.

Yes i am very bored at work

 

[NickBHAFC18]

Used to scrunch...when I was 13. Now it's a few sheets and fold. Depending on what sort of poo you are having, adjust the number of sheet accordingly.

 

[severnside gull]

Just about to have a mid morning Danish...............................



Thank you

 

[Beach Hut]

This thread is crap

 

[Gritt23]

Folding is the only method that gives sufficient control for me. Scrunching is just too random.

 

[daveinprague]

Normally dont have enough time for origami...its scrunch.

 

[Simster]

Folding is the only method that gives sufficient control for me. Scrunching is just too random.

New NSC like button has been pressed.

 

[Simster]

Normally dont have enough time for origami...its scrunch.

Poor post. A simple 3 or 4 fold procedure really hardly qualifies as origami, and the measure of control gained from such sensible preparation is immense.

 

[Aadam]

I'm a folder too. Both the splash piece and the wipe piece.

 

[Bladders]

Folding leaves you flat handed and prone to side smear on your fingers. A scrunch grip however keeps finger tips close together at the back allowing more protection and possible two way action.

Personally I feel the OP should have added a poll.

 

[VAL1850]

Ask a dog - 99% + time they have the answer - the other 1% time when it fails they just skid along the carpet

PS don't bother asking a sheep !!

 

[Norman Potting]

What sort of thread is this??

.......Hang on, I am reading it though.

 

[albion534]

Im a folder, as I feel u get more out of a fold then a scrunch! Plus depending on the quality of paper, I feel the scrunch is prone to breaking an still get it on my fingers

My biggest issue is when I wipe, I get everything to the extent that I'm on the verge of bleeding....however, half hour later, if it's not, I get a sweaty bum and can have another wipe free of charge

 

[fire&skill]

I use a dual fold/scrunch method allying the generalised sweep of the scrunch with the more detailed approach of the fold. Think of a 'fine tuning' button on an old TV.

On a similar tack, are you a side-wiper or do you favour the sub-gusset approach ie between the legs?

 

[Badger]

Absolutely textbook timing for your poo may I say, right in that classic 10.30 - 11.30 window.

I go for a two-fold (if you'll pardon the pun) approach to wiping. If there's a lot left behind I'll start if with scrunch as I find it gets more purchase and is good for getting those chunks that can got caught in the hair, then the finishing touches are applied with a neatly folded 4 or 5 squarer which really helps to tidy things up.

 

[Daffy Duck]

Oh no, not another shit thread!

 

[The Antikythera Mechanism]

Another mystery to me is how you are supposed to wipe your arse if IZAL is the only bum fodder available. It's like greaseproof paper isn't it?

 

[mreprice]

Surely people no longer scrunch in civilised society. Scrunching is for savages.

However it is important that the paper Is at least 3-ply.

 

[Laughing Gravy]

I always poo before I get up

 

[grubbyhands]

Scrunching is an absolute MUST for Izal or other "greaseproof" paper otherwise none of the poo is transferred to the wiping medium,rather smeared up to between the shoulder blades or worse,in the event of a forward wipe, the scrotal sack. For the softer type of paper a multi- fold approach should be adopted although it should be remembered that poo "flavour" can ,apparently, penetrate 9 sheets of softwipe. Whilst vaguely on this subject may I add a little joke?

What do you call an artist with brown fingers?




Picasso of course!