[Albion] "Albion dressing room would be supportive of gay player"

[Badger Boy]

There is no chance that there is not a gay footballer in our squad. It's been many years since I played the game, but even in my day there were a few boys who were known to favour the company of men. They had to be better players on the pitch to avoid being slagged off and that was unfair, but it was a reality at the time. We had a few black lads who felt there was an expectation they perform better and be better prepared/behaved as well. Even in my time that was changing but there were some teams we'd come up against who would try and rattle our black players with snarky comments. We defended our own but there was always some needle just under the surface. It's important that support isn't silent. It was important that we didn't have an "unspoken" understanding. We made sure we let our mates know we supported them. When we had a birthday or some other function and a lad showed up with another man there wasn't any pretending they weren't a couple, it was a culture of spoken acceptance. It wasn't always that way but it got better with time and with more players being comfortable telling us they were gay.

I have no doubt at all that Burn's comments will mean a lot to certain individuals and I really don't think there's a dressing room in the country which would be changed in a significant way by a gay footballer announcing it. It's not how dressing rooms are and it's not how men are in the majority. Some would have a problem, some would react badly but the majority wouldn't have a problem so long as the player is performing.

 

[oxymoron]

You have made the same mistake that the vast majority of straight people make when they think they know about what "coming out" means.
It isnt a case of saying as way of introduction "Hey my name is Nick and I am gay". It isn't a case of coming out once and thats it.It isnt about saying I am gay to anyone. In fact thats the last thing most of us want to do.



What it is about is having to make a decision EVERY single time you meet someone new. You have to weigh up almost instantly what they will think of you, say to you about your entire life. Will they treat you differently. Will they have preconceptions about you.

Coming out to someone is about not having to think in every single conversation about mentioning the gender of your partner, or the places that you go to socialise, . Imagine as a straight person when you are getting to know someone for the first time, one of the first things you will be asked is "do you have a wife/girlfriend, what did you do this weekend etc.
The sad reality is that there are a significant number of people still who do not accept us for who we are, and can make our lives a misery very quickly and easily -and they do!
So when someone asks you, do you have a wife or girlfriend, you do not have to think about saying she or they, you dont have to worry about saying which pub or club you went to at the weekend, you dont have to be careful about making a throwaway comment about an attractive person on tv. You dont have to be careful about even looking at someone in the street in the "wrong way", you dont have to worry about approaching someone wondering if you have "guessed" correctly if they are gay or not.

Coming out isnt about saying Im gay, its about how you interact with literally every single person you meet. Its about having to go through the process every single time. Its about having to suppress one of the most fundamental things about you. Frankly its exhausting, stressful and can be very destructive.

So, its not about mentioning we are gay, its about us mentioning anything at all about our entire existence, and if one football player stands up and supports us, it can make a world of difference, not to just the 2 or 3 players in the squad that are statistically likely to be gay or Bi, but to the multitudes of us out here who have this incessant stress on us 24 hours a day

So Yes as a straight person you do let people know you are straight, just by being you and talking to other people, its a privilege too many of us don't have.

Nick thank you for that insight

 

[timbha]

Nick thank you for that insight

Well said. We have a winner!!

 

[Gwylan]

You have made the same mistake that the vast majority of straight people make when they think they know about what "coming out" means.
It isnt a case of saying as way of introduction "Hey my name is Nick and I am gay". It isn't a case of coming out once and thats it.It isnt about saying I am gay to anyone. In fact thats the last thing most of us want to do.



What it is about is having to make a decision EVERY single time you meet someone new. You have to weigh up almost instantly what they will think of you, say to you about your entire life. Will they treat you differently. Will they have preconceptions about you.

Coming out to someone is about not having to think in every single conversation about mentioning the gender of your partner, or the places that you go to socialise, . Imagine as a straight person when you are getting to know someone for the first time, one of the first things you will be asked is "do you have a wife/girlfriend, what did you do this weekend etc.
The sad reality is that there are a significant number of people still who do not accept us for who we are, and can make our lives a misery very quickly and easily -and they do!
So when someone asks you, do you have a wife or girlfriend, you do not have to think about saying she or they, you dont have to worry about saying which pub or club you went to at the weekend, you dont have to be careful about making a throwaway comment about an attractive person on tv. You dont have to be careful about even looking at someone in the street in the "wrong way", you dont have to worry about approaching someone wondering if you have "guessed" correctly if they are gay or not.

Coming out isnt about saying Im gay, its about how you interact with literally every single person you meet. Its about having to go through the process every single time. Its about having to suppress one of the most fundamental things about you. Frankly its exhausting, stressful and can be very destructive.

So, its not about mentioning we are gay, its about us mentioning anything at all about our entire existence, and if one football player stands up and supports us, it can make a world of difference, not to just the 2 or 3 players in the squad that are statistically likely to be gay or Bi, but to the multitudes of us out here who have this incessant stress on us 24 hours a day

So Yes as a straight person you do let people know you are straight, just by being you and talking to other people, its a privilege too many of us don't have.

What a great post - and a good counter balance to the (thankfully few) dinosaurs on here

 

[Deadly Danson]

You have made the same mistake that the vast majority of straight people make when they think they know about what "coming out" means.
It isnt a case of saying as way of introduction "Hey my name is Nick and I am gay". It isn't a case of coming out once and thats it.It isnt about saying I am gay to anyone. In fact thats the last thing most of us want to do.



What it is about is having to make a decision EVERY single time you meet someone new. You have to weigh up almost instantly what they will think of you, say to you about your entire life. Will they treat you differently. Will they have preconceptions about you.

Coming out to someone is about not having to think in every single conversation about mentioning the gender of your partner, or the places that you go to socialise, . Imagine as a straight person when you are getting to know someone for the first time, one of the first things you will be asked is "do you have a wife/girlfriend, what did you do this weekend etc.
The sad reality is that there are a significant number of people still who do not accept us for who we are, and can make our lives a misery very quickly and easily -and they do!
So when someone asks you, do you have a wife or girlfriend, you do not have to think about saying she or they, you dont have to worry about saying which pub or club you went to at the weekend, you dont have to be careful about making a throwaway comment about an attractive person on tv. You dont have to be careful about even looking at someone in the street in the "wrong way", you dont have to worry about approaching someone wondering if you have "guessed" correctly if they are gay or not.

Coming out isnt about saying Im gay, its about how you interact with literally every single person you meet. Its about having to go through the process every single time. Its about having to suppress one of the most fundamental things about you. Frankly its exhausting, stressful and can be very destructive.

So, its not about mentioning we are gay, its about us mentioning anything at all about our entire existence, and if one football player stands up and supports us, it can make a world of difference, not to just the 2 or 3 players in the squad that are statistically likely to be gay or Bi, but to the multitudes of us out here who have this incessant stress on us 24 hours a day

So Yes as a straight person you do let people know you are straight, just by being you and talking to other people, its a privilege too many of us don't have.

Brilliantly and eloquently put. Hope it explains to a few who need it explaining. One of the best posts I've seen on here in a long time.

 

[worthingseagull123]

It is tragic that in 2020 we don’t have an openly gay player in the English football league.

 

[Pretty pink fairy]

More virtuous signalling from the most virtuous signalling sport of them all: football. Let’s constantly talk about anything other than football, let’s link everything back to gender, sexual orientation, colour, race, religion and politics. When did football become so narcissistic as to tell everyone what to do and think. Remember the days when it used to be about sport?

Yep , its got totally out of control and the right ons lap it up
Regards
DF

 

[Pretty pink fairy]

Why should someone even have to mention they are gay? Do straight people say hello I’m straight

Regards
DF

 

[Klaas]

You have made the same mistake that the vast majority of straight people make when they think they know about what "coming out" means.
It isnt a case of saying as way of introduction "Hey my name is Nick and I am gay". It isn't a case of coming out once and thats it.It isnt about saying I am gay to anyone. In fact thats the last thing most of us want to do.



What it is about is having to make a decision EVERY single time you meet someone new. You have to weigh up almost instantly what they will think of you, say to you about your entire life. Will they treat you differently. Will they have preconceptions about you.

Coming out to someone is about not having to think in every single conversation about mentioning the gender of your partner, or the places that you go to socialise, . Imagine as a straight person when you are getting to know someone for the first time, one of the first things you will be asked is "do you have a wife/girlfriend, what did you do this weekend etc.
The sad reality is that there are a significant number of people still who do not accept us for who we are, and can make our lives a misery very quickly and easily -and they do!
So when someone asks you, do you have a wife or girlfriend, you do not have to think about saying she or they, you dont have to worry about saying which pub or club you went to at the weekend, you dont have to be careful about making a throwaway comment about an attractive person on tv. You dont have to be careful about even looking at someone in the street in the "wrong way", you dont have to worry about approaching someone wondering if you have "guessed" correctly if they are gay or not.

Coming out isnt about saying Im gay, its about how you interact with literally every single person you meet. Its about having to go through the process every single time. Its about having to suppress one of the most fundamental things about you. Frankly its exhausting, stressful and can be very destructive.

So, its not about mentioning we are gay, its about us mentioning anything at all about our entire existence, and if one football player stands up and supports us, it can make a world of difference, not to just the 2 or 3 players in the squad that are statistically likely to be gay or Bi, but to the multitudes of us out here who have this incessant stress on us 24 hours a day

So Yes as a straight person you do let people know you are straight, just by being you and talking to other people, its a privilege too many of us don't have.

What a brilliant post. Although I try and put myself in the shoes of others as best I can you can never really know what it feels like. So, reading the insight you've offered us is really valuable, thanks

 

[amexer]

I meet dozens of people every week on business and Social. Not once have I given any thought as to their sexuality

 

[zefarelly]

I meet dozens of people every week on business and Social. Not once have I given any thought as to their sexuality

Me neither . . . . and I can honestly say, when its glaringly obvious, like neigbours, new friends, band mates, It makes no difference to anytthing whatsoever.

 

[Acker79]

You have made the same mistake that the vast majority of straight people make when they think they know about what "coming out" means.
It isnt a case of saying as way of introduction "Hey my name is Nick and I am gay". It isn't a case of coming out once and thats it.It isnt about saying I am gay to anyone. In fact thats the last thing most of us want to do.

An excellent post.

I would look at it another way, that hetrosexuality as 'the norm' or 'default' in society has led to people not really realising they are are essentially saying 'hi, I'm straight'. For example the threads of beautiful women on here were in their own way posters saying 'I'm straight'. Those anti-pc culture guys who want to stick posters of page three women up in their garage. Street harassment - often men hollering at women in sexual fashion is them shouting 'I am a straight man and I like women'. In their own way, yes, straight people do tell the world they are straight quite a lot more than we tend to realise because 'it's the norm'.

 

[Swansman]

Dutch Eredivisie player just came out but remained anonymous (so you could say he kind of opened the closet and spoke from it rather than came out, I guess).

"I am an athlete and I only have one goal, that is to get to the highest level in my sport. That could be hurt if I come out now

It’s correct that I am gay, but I’m not coming out publicly because I don’t want people to talk about me and my sexuality like that

It is that small minority of people that will bother you. For example the chants in the stadiums. And my biggest fear is the international story. Why would I put my career on the line because I feel the need to talk about my different sexuality?

As a footballer you want a beautiful career and to make a transfer to another country. In other countries it is often a different story in terms of acceptance than in the Netherlands, in certain countries you wouldn’t get a chance at all"

Reasonable I guess but would still be great if someone actually came out during their active career.

In Brighton there is one player where there was a lot of rumours (like a 100+ page thread on a forum) about him being gay when he played for another club. If that player or someone else in the Brighton squad is gay I hope that the environment surrounding the club is one that would allow that step to happen - would probably mean a lot to many people.

 

[Napper]

Dutch Eredivisie player just came out but remained anonymous (so you could say he kind of opened the closet and spoke from it rather than came out, I guess).

"I am an athlete and I only have one goal, that is to get to the highest level in my sport. That could be hurt if I come out now

It’s correct that I am gay, but I’m not coming out publicly because I don’t want people to talk about me and my sexuality like that

It is that small minority of people that will bother you. For example the chants in the stadiums. And my biggest fear is the international story. Why would I put my career on the line because I feel the need to talk about my different sexuality?

As a footballer you want a beautiful career and to make a transfer to another country. In other countries it is often a different story in terms of acceptance than in the Netherlands, in certain countries you wouldn’t get a chance at all"

Reasonable I guess but would still be great if someone actually came out during their active career.

In Brighton there is one player where there was a lot of rumours (like a 100+ page thread on a forum) about him being gay when he played for another club. If that player or someone else in the Brighton squad is gay I hope that the environment surrounding the club is one that would allow that step to happen - would probably mean a lot to many people.

I think it would still be hard for one to come out in reality . I know you get all the spin btyes of acceptance but in a male changing room with male banter it is probably not a place to be sensitive still .

Not saying it’s right of course but groups of alpha males together i think whoever comes out would have to be able to join in the jokes . Some prob think it’s just easier to keep it private than face that .

It’s different in the women’s game as it’s often Tom boys who are well into football so you get a lot more acceptance

 

[vagabond]

"Albion dressing room would be supportive of gay player"

I think it would still be hard for one to come out in reality . I know you get all the spin btyes of acceptance but in a male changing room with male banter it is probably not a place to be sensitive still .

Not saying it’s right of course but groups of alpha males together i think whoever comes out would have to be able to join in the jokes . Some prob think it’s just easier to keep it private than face that .

It’s different in the women’s game as it’s often Tom boys who are well into football so you get a lot more acceptance

Away fans too.

Whoever comes out as a player will automatically have a certain category of chants directed their way for the rest of their career. It’s understandable why a serious athlete who just wants to focus on his job and succeed would think “nah. I don’t need that shit”.

 

[Wardy's twin]

More virtuous signalling from the most virtuous signalling sport of them all: football. Let’s constantly talk about anything other than football, let’s link everything back to gender, sexual orientation, colour, race, religion and politics. When did football become so narcissistic as to tell everyone what to do and think. Remember the days when it used to be about sport?

when it became a multi billion industry and that's just this country.

 

[super-seagulls]

Sake, we already get labelled as gayers and poofs, And now we have to prance around in rainbow laces? And against Saints as well. Why give them more ammunition, who ever thought up this ridiculous idea.

 

[super-seagulls]

Why should someone even have to mention they are gay? Do straight people say hello I’m straight

Regards
DF

The pair of you are so backwards it’s scary.

 

[super-seagulls]

More virtuous signalling from the most virtuous signalling sport of them all: football. Let’s constantly talk about anything other than football, let’s link everything back to gender, sexual orientation, colour, race, religion and politics. When did football become so narcissistic as to tell everyone what to do and think. Remember the days when it used to be about sport?

Wow, just wow!

 

[Baldseagull]

Dutch Eredivisie player just came out but remained anonymous (so you could say he kind of opened the closet and spoke from it rather than came out, I guess).

"I am an athlete and I only have one goal, that is to get to the highest level in my sport. That could be hurt if I come out now

It’s correct that I am gay, but I’m not coming out publicly because I don’t want people to talk about me and my sexuality like that

It is that small minority of people that will bother you. For example the chants in the stadiums. And my biggest fear is the international story. Why would I put my career on the line because I feel the need to talk about my different sexuality?

As a footballer you want a beautiful career and to make a transfer to another country. In other countries it is often a different story in terms of acceptance than in the Netherlands, in certain countries you wouldn’t get a chance at all"

Reasonable I guess but would still be great if someone actually came out during their active career.

In Brighton there is one player where there was a lot of rumours (like a 100+ page thread on a forum) about him being gay when he played for another club. If that player or someone else in the Brighton squad is gay I hope that the environment surrounding the club is one that would allow that step to happen - would probably mean a lot to many people.

Could make selection for a World Cup in Qatar a bit awkward. If you accept that around 20% of people are gay or bi-sexual, it would be unreasonable to expect that there is a club in the Premier League without a gay player.