A hellish encounter

[The Antikythera Mechanism]

Ironic, really, as MT was Attila's raison d'etre.

 

[Lokki 7]

No NSC poetry thread would be complete without a ditty to this tune so how about this...

Thatcher as dead as you may be,
We all benefit from your legacy.
You saw off the Argies,
And you battled all your foes,
But Atilla still blames you for all of his woes.

 

[MattBackHome]

Oh spawn of Thatcher, Mark
Inbued with all your mother's dark


actually this is trickier than I thought, kindly add something about him being an generally evil arms dealer and coup plotter and only less evil than Pol Pot, Kim Jong-Il, Skeletor, because he wasn't as successful as he had hoped.

That's a really good start I reckon. Keep going. Already better than the flabby poem that started the thread.

 

[Seagull58]

More context is needed. She did give the police a 100% rise, so while Scargill was a vainglorious google 35% isnt as much as it may seem.
Besides the strikes were about pit closures.

Weren't the strikes actually about bringing down the government and putting a socialist workers party government in its place?

 

[Lokki 7]

Weren't the strikes actually about bringing down the government and putting a socialist workers party government in its place?

That doesn't even rhyme. Rubbish effort. You could start..

STRIKE! STRIKE! Bring down the government!
The Socialist workers party's better than those ****s!

 

[withdeanwombat]

Hitler said to Papen
"Now here's a funny thing,
Forty plus percentage for the lunatic right wing
And now because you boys are stuffed
Because your brains are few
You're GIVING me the leadership
(Aside) A crazy thing to do.

Skip on a half a century
The Tories have a row
And while the boys are arguing
In slips the Grantham cow
Forty plus percentage for a lunatic right wing
You couldn't match in history this very funny thing
"And now because you boys are stuffed
Because your brains are few
You're GIVING me the leadership
A crazy thing to do."

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

I think you might not.

Sick flow blud

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

I don't know what a Dilemma is.
I don't know what a dilemma is.
Die-Lem-a, dil-emma?
Midnight, all alone,
Everyone has gone.
In the Kitchenette,
I put the kettle on.
What comes bursting in?
A six foot, Thatcherite gorilla
Sex starved, raving mad shouting...
CALL ME KILLER,!
He grips me!
He strips me.
Phallus all a throb.
Shouting "where do you want it?, up the arse, or in the gob"

Now I know what a dilemma is.

Very good. I like that more than atillas one. Can't win with the Tories if your not a sharp elbowed society denier.

 

[pork pie]

A HELLISH ENCOUNTER

The furnaces were roaring
With a foul and sulphurous smell
The damned were being tortured –
Just another day in Hell.
The air was full of ghastly screams
And soul-destroying moans
When above the dreadful clamour
Rose some shrill suburban tones…

‘So messy! And so smelly!
And so awfully, awfully hot!
And all you do is torture –
That puts nothing in the pot!
I’ll close down all your furnaces
Your unproductive ways
And build a brand new call centre –
A Purgatory that pays!’

The Devil dropped his pitchfork
And put on his coat and hat.
‘I don’t mind facing Jesus
But I can’t compete with that!’
But the damned and all the goblins
Pleaded ‘Lucifer, don’t go!’
Stay and help us in our fight -
Better the Devil that we know!’

So they voted him shop steward
And he led a demonstration
While Thatcher glared and tutted
In mad, impotent frustration.
Then they made some massive banners
In huge letters: ‘COAL NOT DOLE’!
‘NOT ONE SINGLE FURNACE CLOSURE!’
‘GO TO HEAVEN, TORY TROLL!’

Now Tomas de Torquemada
Held a centuries-old position
As editor of Hell’s newspaper:
The Daily Inquisition.
So Thatcher went to him and said
‘I need some press support.
It always does my bidding.
Here’s some text for your report!’

But Tomas said ‘Eees complicated -
‘Satan ees my mate!
You know I’ve serve him faithfully
Since 1498…’
So she yelled upstairs to Murdoch:
‘Rupert, time for you to die!
I need you down here urgently!’
But there was no reply.

Then the Devil came in glory
Brian Clough at his right hand
And in tones to shatter marble
Thundered: ‘Margaret, you are banned!
Hell’s a worker-run collective
Self-sufficient, closely-knit.
We don’t need your poxy meddling.
I condemn you to the pit!

But, first, I’ll reunite you
With the one you love the most.
He was hiding in the coal hole.
He was dressed up as a ghost.
Said he DIDN’T WANT to see you!
Said to PLEASE keep him away!
But you’re here now, aren’t you, Denis?
Bid your lady wife good day…..

They were loaded in the lift shaft
And soon they were gone from sight
And heading for an awful place
Of pain and endless night
And you’re not going to believe this
‘Twas such awful, rotten luck -
But half way down the endless pit
The Thatchers’ lift got stuck...

So fight for social justice
And build a better world
And bury her foul legacy
With red banners unfurled
And heed the final message
Of this cautionary verse
Or you could end up like Denis.

I can think of nothing worse.

Are you taking something illegal?

 

[marshy68]

There was a girl from Brighton She was always lying She told me she was happy But she's in the bathroom crying.

 

[sydney]

A HELLISH ENCOUNTER

The furnaces were roaring
With a foul and sulphurous smell
The damned were being tortured –
Just another day in Hell.
The air was full of ghastly screams
And soul-destroying moans
When above the dreadful clamour
Rose some shrill suburban tones…

‘So messy! And so smelly!
And so awfully, awfully hot!
And all you do is torture –
That puts nothing in the pot!
I’ll close down all your furnaces
Your unproductive ways
And build a brand new call centre –
A Purgatory that pays!’

The Devil dropped his pitchfork
And put on his coat and hat.
‘I don’t mind facing Jesus
But I can’t compete with that!’
But the damned and all the goblins
Pleaded ‘Lucifer, don’t go!’
Stay and help us in our fight -
Better the Devil that we know!’

So they voted him shop steward
And he led a demonstration
While Thatcher glared and tutted
In mad, impotent frustration.
Then they made some massive banners
In huge letters: ‘COAL NOT DOLE’!
‘NOT ONE SINGLE FURNACE CLOSURE!’
‘GO TO HEAVEN, TORY TROLL!’

Now Tomas de Torquemada
Held a centuries-old position
As editor of Hell’s newspaper:
The Daily Inquisition.
So Thatcher went to him and said
‘I need some press support.
It always does my bidding.
Here’s some text for your report!’

But Tomas said ‘Eees complicated -
‘Satan ees my mate!
You know I’ve serve him faithfully
Since 1498…’
So she yelled upstairs to Murdoch:
‘Rupert, time for you to die!
I need you down here urgently!’
But there was no reply.

Then the Devil came in glory
Brian Clough at his right hand
And in tones to shatter marble
Thundered: ‘Margaret, you are banned!
Hell’s a worker-run collective
Self-sufficient, closely-knit.
We don’t need your poxy meddling.
I condemn you to the pit!

But, first, I’ll reunite you
With the one you love the most.
He was hiding in the coal hole.
He was dressed up as a ghost.
Said he DIDN’T WANT to see you!
Said to PLEASE keep him away!
But you’re here now, aren’t you, Denis?
Bid your lady wife good day…..

They were loaded in the lift shaft
And soon they were gone from sight
And heading for an awful place
Of pain and endless night
And you’re not going to believe this
‘Twas such awful, rotten luck -
But half way down the endless pit
The Thatchers’ lift got stuck...

So fight for social justice
And build a better world
And bury her foul legacy
With red banners unfurled
And heed the final message
Of this cautionary verse
Or you could end up like Denis.

I can think of nothing worse.

hat off to you brother....

 

[andy46]

crikey that was so long I forget -----------?

 

[attila]

Are you taking something illegal?

The elixir of life, mate. It has enabled me to earn my living for the past 31 years doing the thing I love most - writing and performing, and keeps me fired up with a burning sense of social justice, which means I will always stand up for what I believe and get stuck in. Simple as that.

 

[Lokki 7]

The elixir of life, mate. It has enabled me to earn my living for the past 31 years doing the thing I love most - writing and performing, and keeps me fired up with a burning sense of social justice, which means I will always stand up for what I believe and get stuck in. Simple as that.

I still find it incredible that there are people out there that actually pay money to hear you spout this childish nonsense. And I am sure you tell the tax man about every penny they give you right?

 

[attila]

I still find it incredible that there are people out there that actually pay money to hear you spout this childish nonsense. And I am sure you tell the tax man about every penny they give you right?

I do, and I am proud to have paid tax for 31 years (though NOT of what some of it has been spent on)
I am pleased that you dislike me so much. It means I am doing my job. If you want to express this dislike in person, I'd be delighted to give you the opportunity.

 

[Wozza]

I do, and I am proud to have paid tax for 31 years (though NOT of what some of it has been spent on)
I am pleased that you dislike me so much. It means I am doing my job. If you want to express this dislike in person, I'd be delighted to give you the opportunity.

Can we arrange a Lokki 7 v Attila charity boxing match for REMF? Fairly certain that it would raise more than the last 10 football matches combined.

 

[Rusthall Seagull]

Can we arrange a Lokki 7 v Attila charity boxing match for REMF? Fairly certain that it would raise more than the last 10 football matches combined.

East meets West

 

[Commander]

Can we arrange a Lokki 7 v Attila charity boxing match for REMF? Fairly certain that it would raise more than the last 10 football matches combined.

Yes, yes, yes. I would pay very good money to see this.

 

[Lokki 7]

I do, and I am proud to have paid tax for 31 years (though NOT of what some of it has been spent on)
I am pleased that you dislike me so much. It means I am doing my job. If you want to express this dislike in person, I'd be delighted to give you the opportunity.

Where did I say that I dislike you? Why do you want to take me outside? Are you going to duff me up or bore me to death with a sonnet? I just think that you are shit at poetry and am amazed that you can make a living out of efforts I would expect from an eager 12 year old. Good for you. But if you are going to insist on posting them on a public message board then I think I am within my rights to comment on how crap they are. You have afterall been self publicising this drivel for a very long time now.

 

[Giraffe]

Attila makes me laugh.

It's fairly typical socialist stuff.

Yet he happily comes to the AMEX which is only there because of a multi millionaire businessman. If Attila had his way Tony Bloom would have given all his money away in taxes.