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Can anyone tell me what exactly the fat bastard did? It's just I never saw him do anything, apart from do a poor impersonation of a football player.

Explain that then please.

This. Pathetic response.

To be fair, I thought that given the extra weight he is carrying it was putting extra strain onto his lower intestine resulting in a partial prolapse of the anus. The gestures, I thought, were to the bench to have the physio come on the pitch to have the resulting farmers shoved back up. It...