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Absolutely brilliant. Supreme effort

Portlock Seagull, You obviously didn't read all of my message. As I did with 'plankton' you have overreacted and gone off the deep end. Thanks for your insight. Insight that you obviously have and I don't. For your information I work in the media and do understand time constraints etc etc. I...

Feck off 'We do love our Premiership here at ZOO, but the small, Torquay United-sized plankton of football are just as important to the game as the leviathans from London, Manchester and the Mersey.' Patronising ****s. Yeah, fair enough they're doing a petition but it's just these sort of...

I was there. The lads did OK. The whole Stevenage side had a good foot advantage, and a couple of years, over our boys. Their right winger was like shit off a shovel. Jake persevered, to no avail. Could have done with better service. I'm sure they had a few ringers. The pitch invasion of single...

The dog was a couple of feet away. It was dead quiet then there was a sudden eruption. Must have been what it was like in Pompeii just before they got covered in lava. Only difference was that I didn't follow through, close call though.

This weekend in Skegness before setting off for the game. It lasted about 15 seconds, inflated my socks, shook the curtains, scared the living daylights out of my mate's dog and almost blew out the window. What a humdinger!

I thought The Coral were excellent last night. Just 'cos they don't ponce about like Liam Gallagher doesn't mean they don't have stage presence. They've got rythym, that's more important. Don't think they lost the crowd at all. Went to The Music a few weeks ago at The Corn Exchange and it was...

Probably the same numbnuts who spent most of the half time break giving the stewards loads of grief reminding them that they live in 'northern slums'. So embarrassingly immature. I had to apologise to the County staff. It's a crap enough job without no-brainers giving you stick. Probably also...

Crap Joke du Jour Sir Paul is buying his lovely wife Heather a plane for Christmas. Apparently, he's getting her some immac for the other leg!

As I was visiting New York City I called Gareth Glover to see if I could anything for the REMF. Here's what happened... On the Saturday I set off with a bag containing Los Peladitos documents and a new uhlsport football. Unfortunately, a bottle of water leaked and covered everything. After...