O/T What's your worst ever fart?

[The Large One]

Yes, I know we've done this, but it's been a while, and it's f***ing tedious on here today.

Me? I stank out the entire Air Wair Stand at Rushden a few weeks back. Absolute beauty it was. Ask Jonnyboylennon.

 

[Braders]

most of mine since i've been drinking have been bad , did an absolute sound barrier blaster during my GCSE'S a couple of years back!

 

[Albion Rob]

Not mine, but my old man let rip with a corker in Marks and Spencer in Portsmouth. Right by the tableware stand it was. We scarpered pretty quick, then went back five minutes later as my mum abd nan were still choosing plates and the little bastard had hung around and was still clearing the store in a 10 yard radius. It was bloody evil.

 

[Artois]

TLO: That smell at Rushden was, how can I put this, foul.


I felt sick.

 

[Meade's Ball]

My mum's boyfriend, a man who ought to have known better by his mid-40s, took it upon himself to cause a number of eyes to water in Brighton station as we queued up for tickets before the play-off final.
This was only made worse by the fact that he then almost shat himself laughing about the incident. Still, the queue shortened speedily.

 

[Dunkstar]

Danny seagull did one at the Stockport game.It wasn't smelly,just worryingly squeeky.

 

[Sloth loves Chunk]

This weekend in Skegness before setting off for the game. It lasted about 15 seconds, inflated my socks, shook the curtains, scared the living daylights out of my mate's dog and almost blew out the window.

What a humdinger!

 

[Braders]

This weekend in Skegness before setting off for the game. It lasted about 15 seconds, inflated my socks, shook the curtains, scared the living daylights out of my mate's dog and almost blew out the window.

What a humdinger!

you had socks in your arse?

 

[Dunkstar]

This weekend in Skegness before setting off for the game. It lasted about 15 seconds, inflated my socks, shook the curtains, scared the living daylights out of my mate's dog and almost blew out the window.

What a humdinger!

How did it shake the curtains?With it's hands?

 

[Sloth loves Chunk]

The dog was a couple of feet away. It was dead quiet then there was a sudden eruption.

Must have been what it was like in Pompeii just before they got covered in lava. Only difference was that I didn't follow through, close call though.

 

[Sussex on Leith]

I've just moved into a flat above an Indian restaurant, and after sampling their wares on Saturday and Sunday nights, I woke myself up on Monday morning with a fart that forced me to leave my own room. A rare achievement, I thought.

(I should clarify that following through did NOT take place.)

 

[Brady's Old Lady]

I was standing on H/Heath station once when I let go a corker. It could have helped heat a small village for a year.

I was with my girlfriend at the time and I must have been looking quite repectable because nobody twigged.

2 young guys standing close to me started accusing each other of the dirty deed!! They nearly came to blows

 

[Goring Gull]

Up at Macclesfield a few years back had been up in Manchester for the weekend and out on the lash on he previous Thursday , Friday and Sat nights, was hungover as hell in the bar at the corner of the ground felt sick as a dog, let a silent but deadly go and a group of other albion fans started commenting on it saying "which filthy fucker has done that" i had to leave the bar as i was pissing myself laughing.

 

[Set of Tracksuits]

i was standing at the bus stop in London earlier this year, with the kind of stomach cramping fart that you just have to release. after a cursory glance around, i let rip.

unfortunately the man who had previously been standing behind the bus shelter chose that moment to check the timetable positioned just to my left.

i suddenly remembered that i had "forgotten" something and walked off with as much dignity as i could muster.

 

[bhaexpress]

I used to work for Amex when they were based in Haywards Heath in a computer room which was 'L' shaped. We had one charming character who developed the nasty habit of farting into the air conditioning at one end of the 'L' which would then emerge several minutes later trough the out takes at the other end of the 'L'.

Disgusting it was !

 

[The Large One]

TLO: That smell at Rushden was, how can I put this, foul.


I felt sick.

Maybe foul, but definitely pure.

 

[Theatre of Trees]

Stank the HMV DVD section out recently a lovely concoction of the previous nights guiness and a meal consisting of various beans and pulses.

Quickly moved round to the other side and heard 5 minutes lter two girls complaining about how much it stank in the shop.

 

[Easy 10]

I once let rip in the bathroom while my other half was in the bath. The heat and steam in the bathroom made it absolutely unbearable, to the point that even I couldn't stand to be in there with my own foul and pungent odour. My other half was overcome with nausea, and had to leap out of the bath and rush to the toilet, where she was violently ill for several minutes.

I was doubled-up in hysterics while she was being sick, and I still find myself strangely proud of the incident to this day.

 

[NMH]

This is fascinating stuff - why is it that we so often find our own stenching wind so hilarious ? Someone will invent an arse plug that turns farts into perfume or something. Just don't light a match

 

[The Large One]

Arse plugs are for people with a conscience. Not a great deal of that on NSC.