[Misc] I do love a bidet….

[BN9 BHA]

I've been entrenched in Doha for coming up to seven weeks now and I am yet to dare try and use the BUM GUN.

It literally scares the crap out of me.

Not seen one with this feature

 

[cheshunt seagull]

The digital Japanese toilets should be in every home in the UK.

After each appointment my ring piece was sparkling after being sensitively soaked scrubbed, dried and buffed.

If you need a difficult job done well get the experts in.

The toilet in my hotel room on a work trip to Tokyo was amazing and the pictures next to the controls were very helpful. Turned it up to max pressure of course.

 

[Motogull]

The toilet in my hotel room on a work trip to Tokyo was amazing and the pictures next to the controls were very helpful. Turned it up to max pressure of course.

 

[clapham_gull]

View attachment 200985

The one I used had controls on the wall on the right hand side. Ergonomically that looks like a much better layout.

The problem with the wall based panel is there is tendency to "move cheek" which suffers from not having the benefit of the highly calibrated AI clag removal.

For those not familiar with such engineering, the small portal just visible at the back of the rim is where all the action happens.

Spray, dry, rummage it's all there. An R2D2 style toolbox for 5 star anus attention and care.

On installation just remember to tick the box that allows unfettered crash reports and analysis to be sent back to the mothership in Japan.

You won't benefit from patches and upgrades unless you allow their expert team to fully tune their backend...

.. based on yours.

 

[Eeyore]

The one I used had controls on the wall on the right hand side. Ergonomically that looks like a much better layout.

The problem with the wall based panel is there is tendency to "move cheek" which suffers from not having the benefit of the highly calibrated AI clag removal.

For those not familiar with such engineering, the small portal just visible at the back of the rim is where all the action happens.

Spray, dry, rummage it's all there. An R2D2 style toolbox for 5 star anus attention and care.

On installation just remember to tick the box that allows unfettered crash reports and analysis to be sent back to the mothership in Japan.

You won't benefit from patches and upgrades unless you allow their expert team to fully tune their backend...

.. based on yours.

For someone who has forever relied on Asda bog roll, this is mind blowing. Or bum blowing.

 

[Birdie Boy]

I've been entrenched in Doha for coming up to seven weeks now and I am yet to dare try and use the BUM GUN.

It literally scares the crap out of me. Everytime I visit the office traps the scene I am met with is akin to the aftermath of filming the scene in Titanic when the water rushes up through the decks and breaks the the glass on the ship's (poop)deck. Water EVERYWHERE. And despite the trap looking like this the locals stroll out whistling to themselves dry as a bone and I have ABSOLUTELY no clue what happens when they're in there.

That and I just know if I did I would leave half a gateaux up my jaxie and end up with poocoloured water stains all over my clothes.

The locals do my head in, the whole toilet and floor is drenched when they're finished, wtf do they do in there?
I do like it when the water hits my balls but not so keen when the spray hits the bullseye at 100mph!

 

[oneillco]

The locals do my head in, the whole toilet and floor is drenched when they're finished, wtf do they do in there?
I do like it when the water hits my balls but not so keen when the spray hits the bullseye at 100mph!

They wash their feet in it before praying

 

[Birdie Boy]

They wash their feet in it before praying

They do that in the sinks the dirty bastards...