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Bell Cheeses at work



seagully

Cock-knobs!
Jun 30, 2006
2,955
Battle
I LOVE this thread. My missus regularly tells me off for these exact type of moans. I will show her I'm not the only one...
 




pasty

A different kind of pasty
Jul 5, 2003
30,328
West, West, West Sussex
He is also one of those who will send an email and then come to see you 2 seconds later to ask "did you get my email".... no it must be lost in the post.....

I used to work with a Project Manager who did that, he was in the room next to mine and I knew as soon as his email appeared in my inbox I'd be getting a visit 10 seconds later. He took offence when I started counting out the time it took him to get to my desk.

I work in a development team, but one of our extra responsibilities is to take internal support calls from Account Management. When someone logs a support call on our intranet, it generates an automatic email to all our team with the details.

We have one Account Manager however, who will:

a: log a call on the intranet, then
b: telephone someone in the team to say he has logged a support call, then
c: print off the email (that we get sent anyway) and walk round to us and give us a hard copy of the email
 


Badger

NOT the Honey Badger
NSC Patron
May 8, 2007
12,796
Toronto
I work in a development team, but one of our extra responsibilities is to take internal support calls from Account Management. When someone logs a support call on our intranet, it generates an automatic email to all our team with the details.

We have one Account Manager however, who will:

a: log a call on the intranet, then
b: telephone someone in the team to say he has logged a support call, then
c: print off the email (that we get sent anyway) and walk round to us and give us a hard copy of the email

Sounds like a TEXTBOOK work bell cheese, I bet the email stretches to two pages with the second page just containing the line: "Think about the environment before printing this email".
 


Wilko

LUZZING chairs about
Sep 19, 2003
9,924
BN1
LOVE this thread. Any updates? I am dying to hear about the middle aged FATTY who must be humming Christmas songs now. Any WACKY tie wearers at the office?
 


hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
61,457
Chandlers Ford
LOVE this thread. Any updates? I am dying to hear about the middle aged FATTY who must be humming Christmas songs now. Any WACKY tie wearers at the office?

I am feeling really SAD today.

We have a fake tree at work, and it requires building, before decorating. It goes just by my desk, and building it requires a fair bit of bending down, etc.

Over the last few years, we've had a succession of really lovely, pretty young women in this office, who have SELFLESSLY undertaken this task each year.

The last one of these young ladies left this summer, to be replaced by a chubby, middle-aged woman, who this morning TEAMED UP with the chubby, middle-aged noise machine, to put up the tree.

I kept out of the way as much as I could - hiding in the toilet, busying myself in the warehouse - I EVEN made tea, but still, in the few minutes of this grunting, inept, unseemly floor-show that I was subjected to, I caught a GLIMPSE of fatty's PANTS, poking out the back of her jeans.

One of my favourite little personal festive traditions RUINED for ever more.

#sad
 




Iggle Piggle

Well-known member
Sep 3, 2010
5,378
I'm working from home today waiting for the boiler repair man. It is absolutely freezing and I'm sat with me coat and gloves on. This, though, is entirely preferable to what's on offer at work today which is THE CHRISTMAS DINNER IN THE CANTEEN. For £6.50 you can sit with colleagues you hate, munch on a Turkey that a dog would turn his nose up at, listen to Christmas carols on a tinny speaker and talk about spreadsheets.

Merry Christmas, everyone.
 


hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
61,457
Chandlers Ford
I'm working from home today waiting for the boiler repair man. It is absolutely freezing and I'm sat with me coat and gloves on. This, though, is entirely preferable to what's on offer at work today which is THE CHRISTMAS DINNER IN THE CANTEEN. For £6.50 you can sit with colleagues you hate, munch on a Turkey that a dog would turn his nose up at, listen to Christmas carols on a tinny speaker and talk about spreadsheets.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

:vuvu: :rave:
 


Iggle Piggle

Well-known member
Sep 3, 2010
5,378

The last time I attended that dirge I sat next to a French girl. She literally couldn't understand a word I said but also sat opposite me was a contractor who I barely knew, but you've guessed it, spoke fluent French. As my French lingo extends about as far as 'Poulais' 'Frites' and 'Bonjour' I spent an hour listening to god knows what bored out of my brains with Shakin Stevens on repeat.

Anyway, Where is the boiler man? I'm pissing freezing.
 






Brian Fantana

Well-known member
Oct 8, 2006
7,257
In the field
The prawn cocktail devouring woman who works in our office has taken things to a new low (or high, depending on your viewpoint) today. Eshewing the Christmas Dinner on offer in the canteen, she has brought her OWN into work. It actually consists of everything you'd expect a Christmas Dinner to be, but carefully divided up into tupperware boxes. She has spent the last FORTY MINUTES faffing about at the microwave trying to co-ordinate the heating of each element of her dinner, telling anyone who will listen how she has saved 50 PENCE on what it would have cost her to eat the same thing upstairs.

FFS.
 


Badger

NOT the Honey Badger
NSC Patron
May 8, 2007
12,796
Toronto
The prawn cocktail devouring woman who works in our office has taken things to a new low (or high, depending on your viewpoint) today. Eshewing the Christmas Dinner on offer in the canteen, she has brought her OWN into work. It actually consists of everything you'd expect a Christmas Dinner to be, but carefully divided up into tupperware boxes. She has spent the last FORTY MINUTES faffing about at the microwave trying to co-ordinate the heating of each element of her dinner, telling anyone who will listen how she has saved 50 PENCE on what it would have cost her to eat the same thing upstairs.

FFS.

:lolol: That's brilliant, nothing says Christmas like a slightly mushy microwaved meal.
 




Brian Fantana

Well-known member
Oct 8, 2006
7,257
In the field
:lolol: That's brilliant, nothing says Christmas like a slightly mushy microwaved meal.

I honestly didn't know whether to laugh or actually be grudgingly impressed at that level of tightness.

She's now sitting at her desk with a Garfield(!) knapkin, tucking in. She's got a SINGLE cracker out, as well. I'm not sure if she's hoping someone will pull it with her, or whether she's going to do it herself when she's finished eating.

This afternoon could run and run.
 




Rodney Thomas

Well-known member
May 2, 2012
1,575
Ελλάδα
I honestly didn't know whether to laugh or actually be grudgingly impressed at that level of tightness.

She's now sitting at her desk with a Garfield(!) knapkin, tucking in. She's got a SINGLE cracker out, as well. I'm not sure if she's hoping someone will pull it with her, or whether she's going to do it herself when she's finished eating.

This afternoon could run and run.

Please, please report back on what she does with the cracker. I hope she pulls it herself, it would add a suitably fitting end to the ordeal!
 




Brian Fantana

Well-known member
Oct 8, 2006
7,257
In the field
Please, please report back on what she does with the cracker. I hope she pulls it herself, it would add a suitably fitting end to the ordeal!

I'm unhappy to report that one of the noisy PAs from upstairs obliged and pulled the cracker with her.

Ah well, you can't have everything.

She did at least make an annoying WHOOP sound when cracker was pulled.
 


Badger

NOT the Honey Badger
NSC Patron
May 8, 2007
12,796
Toronto
I'm unhappy to report that one of the noisy PAs from upstairs obliged and pulled the cracker with her.

Ah well, you can't have everything.

She did at least make an annoying WHOOP sound when cracker was pulled.

I take it she is now wearing a paper hat?
 










Badger

NOT the Honey Badger
NSC Patron
May 8, 2007
12,796
Toronto
There's an American woman in my office today (I think she's from the parent company), I can tell she's here because she's speaking very LOUDLY.
 


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