yesterday ai found out Ive got an older brother.

[beakyburn]

Thanks for posting your story. I am also adopted but have never really felt a strong desire to meet my natural parents - my mum died last year and my dad has dementia (he no longer has any idea who any of his family are) so it's kind of now or never if I want to find out about my past.

I guess it was out of loyalty to them that I never pushed the issue - they gave me the best upbringing possible - but I also don't want to intrude in other people's lives. A friend of my sister's contacted her birth parents and her mother's husband had no idea about what had happened and took it very badly.

Good luck to you for the future

Thank you Austrian Gull and all that replied to my post. I guess I was lucky that my adoptive parents were very forward in knowing that I would one day want to know all about my natural parents. On my birthday I always wondered if my real mother was thinking of me. That is why I contacted her side of the family first. She is the one that gave birth and to have that child taken away must have affected her terribly. so her family have welcomed me. My father on the other hand hadn't told his wife or family anything so when I made contact it caused a certain amount of friction. So it can work both ways. His family blamed me for upsetting the family and I replied I am so sorry for being born. I wonder how that happened. My fault I don't think so. So to anybody adopted reading this I wish you all the very best on which course of action you take.

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

I met my half brother about ten years ago, we were both about 40 ish. We spoke on the phone first, or rather my Sister spoke to him. We met up, had a drink and a chat and haven't spoken since. Nice enough guy but I think sometimes life is just that way, neither felt a great urge to build on that.

 

[ofco8]

Nothing as touching as some of these stories. My grandfather lived with us for a couple of years before he died. He only ever mentioned a sister of his who lived in Reading.
Since his death and many years on, found out he was actually one of twelve kids.
We found out from long lost relatives in Australia doing their family tree and have since met up with a relative in Portsmouth and know of one branch in US.
Strange thing is my dad never mentioned all these aunts and uncles to us either. Sadly, he is also dead so cannot quiz him.

 

[Psychobilly freakout]

I met my half brother about ten years ago, we were both about 40 ish. We spoke on the phone first, or rather my Sister spoke to him. We met up, had a drink and a chat and haven't spoken since. Nice enough guy but I think sometimes life is just that way, neither felt a great urge to build on that.

So Tim you were not over whelmed then ?

 

[greyseagull]

My mum and dad were both 16 when I was born. As it was 1951 it was seen as a complete no no. The day I was born I was taken away without my mother even being allowed to hold me. At 6 months I was adopted by a couple who I always and still do even though they are no longer with us call mum and dad. They told me when I was 9 years old that I was adopted. They also knew that as adoptive parents that one day I would want to know about my real parents. so it was them who brought the subject up first. As my mother had a fairly uncommon surname I for some strange reason brought the Hampshire phone book and found just 2 names. Well that's a start so with a big intake of breath I phoned the 1st. The mans voice at the other end just said he had waited over 40 years for this call after I had explained who I was. I was invited down to his place a month later with my wife and son as my mother was staying with him as she was now widowed. That was the 1st and only time I have met her though we always sent Birthday And Xmas cards. Then a few years ago they stopped. Then 3 months ago a letter came and it was from mums eldest son. She was now living with him as she was suffering from dementia. He is the oldest of 3 boys and has always wanted to make contact. So hopefully down to the west country soon to meet 3 half brothers for the first time. On the other side. Tracked my father down 25 years ago and he also went on to have 3 sons but is not interested that much with keeping in touch. So here I am now at 62 being the eldest of seven boys shared between 2 people who slipped up all those years ago. To anybody who is adopted I recommend you try to find out who your real parents are. Don't leave it until it is to late. It bugged me for many many years and I am so glad I have found my birth family.

That is a lovely story.......father...