Who says the Germans don't have a sense of humour?

[Trufflehound]

Hans? Dutch name surely, not German?

I was thinking the same thing. The only two people called Hans that I know are both Dutch.

For what it's worth, my mobile is not Hans free.

 

[Simster]

I was thinking the same thing. The only two people called Hans that I know are both Dutch.

For what it's worth, my mobile is not Hans free.

2/10

Not a particularly funny joke I'm afraid. #shakes head

 

[Jack Straw]

There was an English cat called One-two-three, and a French cat called Un-deux-trois. They entered a swimming race. The English cat won because the Un-deux-trois cat sank.

Cease immediately.

 

[Man of Harveys]

Hans? Dutch name surely, not German?

Nonsense - you get plenty of Hanses in both places but there's certainly an absolute ton of them in Germany. Of course they're practically the same language anyway.

 

[daveinprague]

My missus used to say, Dutch isnt a language, its a throat condition.

 

[JC Footy Genius]

Nonsense - you get plenty of Hanses in both places but there's certainly an absolute ton of them in Germany. Of course they're practically the same language anyway.

Are they the things at the end of your armses?

 

[Guinness Boy]

Nonsense - you get plenty of Hanses in both places but there's certainly an absolute ton of them in Germany. Of course they're practically the same language anyway.

A greyhound walks in to a bar to see a horse preparing a PARMA ham sandwich for an Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman. He says to the horse "guess what, I've just removed all Northern Europeans and people of German and Dutch origin living elsewhere from my mobile."

"Is it Hans free?" asks the horse.

"Of course it f***ing is, How am I supposed to hold it with paws?" replies the greyhound.

 

[Ron Manager]

There was a Dutchman, a Swede and a German all changing a solitary bulb.

Apparently many Hans make light work.

 

[Simster]

A greyhound walks in to a bar to see a horse preparing a PARMA ham sandwich for an Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman. He says to the horse "guess what, I've just removed all Northern Europeans and people of German and Dutch origin living elsewhere from my mobile."

"Is it Hans free?" asks the horse.

"Of course it f***ing is, How am I supposed to hold it with paws?" replies the greyhound.

Ah a tipped hat to one of my all time favourite threads. Good work.

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

Cease immediately.

I'm glad someone picked up on this joke. I love it.

 

[brakespear]

A greyhound walks in to a bar to see a horse preparing a PARMA ham sandwich for an Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman. He says to the horse "guess what, I've just removed all Northern Europeans and people of German and Dutch origin living elsewhere from my mobile."

"Is it Hans free?" asks the horse.

"Of course it f***ing is, How am I supposed to hold it with paws?" replies the greyhound.

Bravo, excellent reworking of an all-time favourite

Since we can't decide which country owns "Hans":

I've removed all north European friends from my mobile. My address books is pretty much empty* now.


*except a few French people , 2 Italians and 3 Spaniards



It sounds top drawer now.

And Corellians?

 

[Man of Harveys]

Ah a tipped hat to one of my all time favourite threads. Good work.

Agreed. If anything could be ever designated NSC PLATINUM, that thread and that thread alone should be.

 

[Lincoln Imp]

It's not really a joke but I did laugh out loud at an exchange on the News Quiz years ago, when Mitt Romney was trying to become president. Apparently Mitt's first job was selling Mormonism door-to-door in France. It was a tough call but according to one of the panelists it would have been even tougher in Germany. "Just imagine, he'd know at the door and some old boy in leather shorts would answer it and Mitt would say "Hello, I'm Mitt Romney" and the old German would look over his shoulder and bark: "Then vere the 'ell is Romney?"

 

[Bolton va va]

What kind of car does a German cowboy drive ?




An Audi Pardner.