What's your most hated cliche?

[Yorkie]

If history is going to repeat itself I should think we can expect the same thing again."

"The Uruguayans are losing no time in making a meal around the referee."

"I think that was a moment of cool panic there."

"Beckenbauer really has gambled all his eggs."

"Celtic manager Davie Hay still has a fresh pair of legs up his sleeve."

"I spent four indifferent years at Goodison Park, but they were great years

 

[The Clown of Pevensey Bay]

Commentators who say things like "Steven Gerrard's warming up at this moment in time".

How can a moment be in anything else?

"Steven Gerrard's warming up at this moment in custard" -- see, it doesn't work.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

I seem to recall a McGhee quote in a recent Argus which claimed that Albion had plenty of players "with two feet, which is always an advantage".

You can't deny it, the fact that our players have two feet each has unquestionably helped us this season....

 

[Brightonfan1983]

"grass roots" HOW LAZY ARE YOU NOT TO USE ANOTHER TERM

Anyone footballer who kisses their badge

Not going mental when you score, a la McManaman. Arrogant git.

 

[Storer68]

I'd like to play
for an Italian club
... like Barcelona

Mark Draper



Total and utter control. Oh there's a loose one. Danger here.....


Week 5. Ronglish, Bringing it all together


Now that you lot have completed Ronglish lessons 1,2,3, and 4, I suppose you reckon you're ready to embark on an acclaimed career in co-commentary right away.Well hold your horses there, mate. The vocabulary is one thing but it takes much much more to hold court in the gantry.
This week, we look at the work and wisdom of Big Ron and identify the other qualities needed to get your own personal Peter Drury to shut up for a minute.



They've done the old-fashioned things well; they've kicked the ball, they've headed it...

I've had this sneaking feeling throughout the game that it's there to be won.

Woodcock would have scored, but his shot was too perfect.

They must go for it now as they have nothing to lose but the match.

Now Manchester United are 2-1 down on aggregate, they are in a better position than when they started the game at 1-1


Beckenbauer has really gambled all his eggs.
Tony Adams - he's the rock that the team has grown from.

He sliced the ball when he had it on a plate.

Someone in the England team will have to grab the ball by the horns.

They've picked their heads up off the ground and they now have a
lot to carry on their shoulders.

He's treading on dangerous water there...

Chelsea look like they've got a couple more gears left in the locker.

There's a little triangle - five left-footed players.

I would also think that the replay showed it to be worse than it actually was.

He's not only a good player, but he's spiteful in the nicest sense of the word.

The keeper was unsighted - he still didn't see it.

You half fancied that to go in as it was rising and dipping at the same time.

That was Pele's strength - holding people off with his arm.


I wouldn't say Ginola is the best left winger in the Premiership,
but there are none better.

Well , either side could win it, or it could be a draw.

City will want to win this one.


Moreno thought that the full back was gonna come up behind and give him one really hard.

He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces
Zidane is not very happy, because he's suffering from the wind.

Stoichkov's playing on the wing, in this situation he likes to come in and scalp the centre-half


I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat.

A ten-foot keeper really should have stopped that.
They've come out at half time and gone bang.

The lad throws it further than I go on holiday

..and Schmeichel extends and grows even bigger than he is.

I think that was a moment of cool panic there.





.

 

[magoo]

i'm fed up with:

"...Small boys?....Jumpers for goalpoasts?.....Mummy calling through the kitchen window?....Come on Johnny your tea's getting cold!.......mmmm.....isn't it?

 

[Wienergull]

Early doors
To be fair/in all fairness

Take a bow, Big Ron!

 

[chips and gravy]

Early doors - it's completely meaningless! Who the hell coined that one?

 

[Bwian]

"I've been a ManUre fan since the early seventies."

 

[Schrödinger's Toad]

Not exactly a cliche, but ' player x roasted the full back ' takes on a whole new meaning ...

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Ron invented Early Doors, as his grasp of the English language was insufficient to enable him to remember the well known phrase "early days".

 

[Jason Speaks]

Rollercoaster of emotions.

 

[Jambo Seagull]

Excellent article in today's Times from Simon Barnes providing a glossary of cliches.


Can football decimate language? It's a big ask
By Simon Barnes, Sports Writer of the Year



“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.”




— Through the Looking-glass, Lewis Carroll





LANGUAGE changes. It does so all the time. What was once plain wrong becomes acceptable, and then it becomes right. Language is made by use, not by rules. Sport plays an increasingly large part in public life and therefore the language used specifically for sport cannot help but become part of mainstream life.

I have gathered together a list of words, mostly from football, the most influential sport. This is not supposed to be a list of clichés or solecisms. Rather, I am taking note of the way football-specific language differs from the mainstream, and yet is in the process of becoming mainstream.

The list is hardly exhaustive and I would welcome further examples.




ADRIFT: behind on points or goals, part of the maritime nature of football; see under way.

AMBASSADOR: as in “a real ambassador for the game”. Used of any reasonably well-liked person who has been around for a fair length of time without getting into any conspicuous form of trouble.

ANONYMOUS: a player who gives an “anonymous performance” is generally wearing his name on his back, but the word no longer has anything to do with names. An anonymous performance is one that lacks anything noteworthy and is applied to a player from whom noteworthy things are at least hoped for.

ASK: verb becomes noun — and always used with the word “big”. “They’re three goals behind, so it’s a big ask.” It means that they face a task that asks certain questions about their skill and resolve.

ATMOSPHERE: noise. “Tremendous atmosphere in the Millennium Stadium.”

AVERAGE: nothing to do with figures of any kind. “Average” is a euphemism for “poor”, as in “he had a pretty average game”. See also ordinary.

BACK OF THE NET: in the goal. Note that the expression “front of the net” does not exist. At a recent televised match, the ball rebounded off the advertising hoarding, hit the goal from behind and made the net billow. The commentator said: “They think it was a goal, but the ball just hit the back of the net . . . but not the back of the net they wanted it to.” In other words, the net has two backs, but no front.

BELOVED: all football clubs are beloved. The word is used of a football supporter, normally one in the public eye, and whom you wish to flatter. The word implies that the supporter is a warm person with a loveably human streak of fallibility: “Alastair Campbell, when not watching his beloved Burnley . . .”

BEST: as in “not the best ball”. A euphemism for a crass error of judgment.

BIG: a goalkeeper who does not dive at a forward’s feet is said to “stay big”. Note: a goalkeeper who dives does not “become small”.

CAT AND MOUSE: of a match that is dominated by thought and by tactics, rather than by spontaneous confrontation. Nothing to do with the actual behaviour of either cats or mice.

COMMON SENSE: to be used of referees. To be regarded as a footballing insider, you must state that the referee, by punishing players for breaking the rules of the game, “failed to show common sense”.

CONTROVERSIAL: of any decision disputed by the players — that is to say, every decision. A controversial penalty, a controversial sending-off, etc, etc. All penalties are “controversial”.

DECENT: all football fans, apart from a small minority (qv), are decent.

DECIMATED: can mean soundly beaten, or greatly distressed. “Plucky Stevenage were decimated by the cup-holders.” Or, “How do you think he feels? He was decimated.” The verb originally meant to kill one in ten.

DISAPPOINTED: as in “he’ll be disappointed with that”. It means that he made a complete cock-up, but you’re far too nice to say so.

DRESSING-ROOM: as in “the manager has lost the dressing-room”. Not a bewildered, suited man opening the door to the broom cupboard in error; in fact, refers to the idea that the manager has lost the support of his players. A phone-in favourite.

EMOTIVE: originally meant “tending or able to excite emotion”, it is now used for anything to do with the emotions. “It was an emotive occasion”, “it’s an emotive issue”, “we were all very emotive in the dressing-room afterwards”.

ENORMITY: this word no longer means great wickedness. It is specifically used of sporting occasions or events and is used to mean “colossal importance”. “It was his first final and he was overwhelmed by the enormity of the occasion.”

EXPERIENCE: as in, he used his experience to win a free kick. It means that he cheated.

FARCE: a series of catastrophic errors, something quite unacceptable. The word has no comic implication. There is a story of a footballer who went to see — say it was Thark. “Isn’t that a farce?” “No, it was quite good, actually.”

GRASS ROOTS: mainly, football played outside the Premiership, but football played at any level lower than the one at which your own team is playing. Grass roots have no specific location. All that is required is an attitude of conspicuous piety towards those who play football at a level lower than your own. You must agree on the importance of grass roots without precisely defining them. And not, of course, do anything about it.

HANDBAGS: a level of violence that is considered perfectly acceptable.

HEIGHT: as in “nice height for the goalkeeper”. Used to disparage an achievement from a player whose position you do not understand. Use of the phrase paradoxically implies that the speaker possesses a deep understanding of the game, displaying a pleasing solidarity with outfielders, ie, the majority.

HOPEFUL: of a ball. The object struck with hope is said to carry that hope in itself. “He struck a hopeful ball into the penalty area.”

INDULGENT: “Cristiano Ronaldo’s indulgent skills did not help United to get back into the match.” Formerly, of course, “self-indulgent”, but these days the “self” is generally discarded.

KEY: noun becomes adjective. As in “defence will be key tonight” or “how key is that?” Refers to an area of the game or an incident in the match on which the result depends.

LET HIM DOWN: as in “his first touch let him down”. Another euphemism for error, implying that it was really too bad of the first touch to behave in such a way to such a nice footballer.

LACKLUSTRE: expression known only to sport. Used to describe a player whose performance, while falling short of grievous error, fails to produce anything very interesting. A word of pure journalistic origin now used by supporters, particularly on phone-ins.

LIFELONG: said of a football supporter you wish to flatter — “and, of course, a lifelong Tottenham fan”, as if the lifelong nature of his support puts him head and shoulders above run-of-the-mill supporters. Note: the fact of the matter is that all football supporters are lifelong supporters.

LITERALLY: not to be understood literally. The word is used as an intensifier for any metaphor. “In 30 seconds, the players will come out of the tunnel and this magnificent stadium will literally explode.”

MAGIC: only ever used for the FA Cup.

MAGNIFICENT: of stadiums. All stadiums are magnificent, especially the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff. Do not say: “This inaccessible barn with poor facilities, appalling acoustics and a public address system beyond the level of pain.” Say: “This magnificent stadium.”

MINORITY: almost invariably “a small minority”. Refers to football fans who get drunk, behave in a threatening manner, make city centres unbearable, abuse people and give monkey chants. This is a phrase that is sycophantic towards football, football supporters and football authorities. It has no basis in numerical fact. See decent.

NAMED: players are never selected for a squad. They are named, as if they were being baptised.

NEEDLESS: a player who concedes a free kick during an unthreatening passage of play has conceded “a needless free kick”. The expression “a needful (or necessary) free kick” does not exist.

ORDINARY: another euphemism for poor. “That was a pretty ordinary ball” of a pass that concedes possession.

OVERNIGHT: a period of time in which — in the face of much contradictory evidence — it is considered impossible for a good team to become a bad team.

PHYSICAL: a team that has a taste for quasi-legal violence is said to be “very physical”. Opposite terms such as “very spiritual” or “very cerebral” do not exist.

PLATFORM: a side that takes an early lead has “built a platform”.

POSITIVE: adjective into noun. It means a good thing, an encouraging sign. “I’m gutted to lose, but there are (sic) a number of positives we can take away from this.”

PROFESSIONAL (adjective): another euphemism for cheating. “He was just very professional” in winning a free kick or breaking up an attack.

PROFESSIONAL (noun): minimal praise offered to someone you heartily dislike. “He’s a great professional.”

PROUD: as in “it’s not something I’m proud of”. Used as a frank and manly expression of guilt and responsibility, usually many years after the event in your ghosted autobiography. As near as any professional athlete will get to saying: “I have done a terrible thing and I am deeply and bitterly ashamed.”

QUESTION MARK: now used instead of question. “After this defeat there are a lot of question marks to be answered.”

ROLE MODEL: a player who has never got into trouble and who restricts his pronouncements to anodyne statements is “a role model”. All players are expected to be “role models”, as if children spent their lives imitating players. Note: children also admire pop stars, but pop stars are not expected to be “role models”. They can take drugs and fornicate as much as they like. A footballer who does the same is betraying the trust of the nation’s children.

SERVANT: as in “a great servant of the game”. No form of service is required to be a great servant, just a certain longevity and likeability.

SLAUGHTER: criticise. “I knew I was going to get slaughtered after that defeat.” Nobody in fact dies.

SUSPECT: of goalkeepers. Any foreign goalkeeper who does not play in the Premiership is “suspect on crosses”. There is nothing to do with suspicion, it means prone to error.

SUSPECT: of temperament. A player who tends to hit people (or stamp on them) in moments of stress has a “suspect temperament”.

TALISMAN: I may have coined this one myself. The word refers to a player whose presence has a galvanising effect on the whole team in addition to his own skills. Hence the adjective talismanic (not in the Shorter Oxford), which I may also have coined. The final syllable makes it attractive to apply the word to a human being — although etymologically, the word has nothing to do with men.

UNCHARACTERISTICALLY: the longest word in football. The way in which a nice chap makes a mistake.

UNDER WAY: a match never starts, it “gets under way”, as if it were a ship, a process that requires three extra syllables.

UNFASHIONABLE: of a football club of small reputation and expectation. Flared trousers were once fashionable, became unfashionable and then became fashionable again. But an unfashionable club has never been in fashion and never will be. “Unfashionable Wigan . . .”

WICKED: of a deflection. When a goal is scored from an inadvertently diverted shot, the ball “took a wicked deflection”.

 

[Jambo Seagull]

Oops posted twice by mistake.

 

[Deano's Right Foot]

"We're

...just concentrating on the next game,

...not looking at where we are in the table,

...taking it one game at a time...

etc.

Just once I'd love to hear a player or managers say:

"Oooh, we're only six points off the top now and if we win the next four games, and Man Utd lose and Arsenal only get a draw against Chelsea, and they both lose the week after and we beat Leicester by 10 goals then we'll be top on goal difference."

or

"Sod the next league game, we're concentrating on beating Millwall at our place in the FA Cup. I expect we'll have a stinker against Brighton, and probably lose heavily on Saturday, but I'm so excited about the cup!!!"

Or when congratulated on scoring I hate that "Well the important things is we go the three points, and It doesn't matter who gets the goals" I'd much rather have "Oh yes, I scored a real cracker and was the only player trying out there today. We lost 4-1 but it made it all worthwhile scoring that fantastic goal!"

 

[fatbadger]

'literally' to mean a stressed metaphor.

 

[Jambo Seagull]

Indeed, fb, literally when it in fact means figuratively, ie the opposite!

 

[The Wookiee]

Early doors - it's completely meaningless! Who the hell coined that one?

The pub near Mansfields ground is also called 'Early Doors'!
What does it mean?

Another annoying thing pundits say is 'They play football the way it should be played'

Is that opposed to them picking the ball up and running with it?

 

[Yorkie]

The pub near Mansfields ground is also called 'Early Doors'!
What does it mean?

Early doors in Yorkshire refers to going to the pub directly from work (as soon as it opened when strict licensing laws were in force)

I think the rugby commentators started using it along with the 'early bath' remarks.

It has then passed on into football.

 

[The Wookiee]

Thanks Yorkie, I will be getting down the pub 'early doors' at 5pm