Digweeds Trousers
New member
For me the Amex shit has become the most pressurised of my weekly shits. What i do know is it is like having a shit on a train. I'm worried about the time available to shit. I am concerned that someone will burst in when I am mid-shit. I like to read when having a shit and the program is the train-shit equivalent of a newspaper. I am always concerned that I will forget to check paper avilability before I commence shitting. And it is always the same after 5 pints of Harvey's at The Landsdowne, a couple more at the ground and a pie that a half-time shit will be wet, smelly and very difficult to finish cleanly and effectively.
but most of all I struggle to shit effectvely knowing there is an anxious queue of people waiting for me to finish.
In fact thinking about it a football shit these days is more frenetic and pressurised than a commuter train shit. I'm surprised in a way as the pressure on a train shit is that the electric door wont just open. I am terrified that being three feet away from the electric door I will have to get up with shit dripping from my arse and try and prevent the door opening. At least with the old style doors you could simply jam your foot against the door and shout loudly that you are shitting.
Now, the door can open like a stage curtain going up and expose you, cock, arse and dripping ring piece for all to see. not good.
However having thought a lot about this during my work shit - which i have to say is the most enjoyable of all the weekly shits as I can go through the motions in my own time in a secure facility - I have decided to write to Azure, the club and the stewards to complain about my match day shitting-experience.
I never shit at Withdean as I was too cold and the shit froze in my pipes. I ended up having to get out in lewes or uckfied to drop the thawed out shit from my pipes.
Now i am comfortable and eating and drinking at the stadium it has sadly imapcted hugely on my match day shit.
the best match day shit I had this year was at half-time at Coventry. I was in no rush to get back to the game and read the program while shitting. it was fantastic.
My other favourite shits are:
Just after getting out playing cricket. I can smoke in the shitter. Its amazing.
Shitting in someone elses house if its a nice facility
Shitting outside after frantically looking for somewhere quiet to shit
My worse shits are
Amex
On the train
At my prospective mother in laws. She always knows I've had a shit in her beautifully clean facility because of the heavy skids, the desperate heavy fog-styled smell and the screams of agony as I try and shit out over-cooked beef. It's like pushing a large piece of modelling clay though a key-hole.
What thoughts have the people of NSC?
but most of all I struggle to shit effectvely knowing there is an anxious queue of people waiting for me to finish.
In fact thinking about it a football shit these days is more frenetic and pressurised than a commuter train shit. I'm surprised in a way as the pressure on a train shit is that the electric door wont just open. I am terrified that being three feet away from the electric door I will have to get up with shit dripping from my arse and try and prevent the door opening. At least with the old style doors you could simply jam your foot against the door and shout loudly that you are shitting.
Now, the door can open like a stage curtain going up and expose you, cock, arse and dripping ring piece for all to see. not good.
However having thought a lot about this during my work shit - which i have to say is the most enjoyable of all the weekly shits as I can go through the motions in my own time in a secure facility - I have decided to write to Azure, the club and the stewards to complain about my match day shitting-experience.
I never shit at Withdean as I was too cold and the shit froze in my pipes. I ended up having to get out in lewes or uckfied to drop the thawed out shit from my pipes.
Now i am comfortable and eating and drinking at the stadium it has sadly imapcted hugely on my match day shit.
the best match day shit I had this year was at half-time at Coventry. I was in no rush to get back to the game and read the program while shitting. it was fantastic.
My other favourite shits are:
Just after getting out playing cricket. I can smoke in the shitter. Its amazing.
Shitting in someone elses house if its a nice facility
Shitting outside after frantically looking for somewhere quiet to shit
My worse shits are
Amex
On the train
At my prospective mother in laws. She always knows I've had a shit in her beautifully clean facility because of the heavy skids, the desperate heavy fog-styled smell and the screams of agony as I try and shit out over-cooked beef. It's like pushing a large piece of modelling clay though a key-hole.
What thoughts have the people of NSC?
and going in the Zap after I'd had a mental come up off a pill and sitting there sweating and tripping in those poxy little bogs 