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[Drinking] What makes a GOOD pub..?







LlcoolJ

Mama said knock you out.
Oct 14, 2009
12,982
Sheffield
That’s what she says, I’m sure the eye-candy plays a part. Whilst you’re supping your pint of ale and farting your missus will keep glancing over at Herr Tubthumper and his man-squad drinking sophisticated craft beers.
And thinking "What a bunch of man bag carrying *****".

[emoji23]
 


LlcoolJ

Mama said knock you out.
Oct 14, 2009
12,982
Sheffield
Beer.
Tits.
So this mid fifties bloke walks into his local and goes to the bar.

There's a stunning, similar age woman sat at the bar. Crossing her legs suggestively and twiddling her almost empty wine glass. She smiles at him as he sits down.

"Er, could I get you another drink?" Says the bloke.

"Of course darling..." She purrs in an American drawl.

The drinks arrive and the bloke says "So, um... What's your name then love? (*this is a Sheffield pub because it works better*)"

"Well baby, my name's Carmen Dollar." She replies. "I was named very well because I love cars, men and money... How about you?"

And the bloke says "Great! Nice to meet you sweet'art, I'm Charlie Beercunt!".
 


marcos3263

Well-known member
Oct 29, 2009
925
Fishersgate and Proud
its all about balance

not too loud that you have to shout but a burble of talking and laughing over 70's-80's music - (keep the youngsters out)
Not too bright but not too dark, I want to see my date but still want to look mysterious and good looking in the shadows
Good selection of drinks but not a specialist in anything, Gin bars or 80 kinds of tequila can do one
Good smell, of fire wood and beer rather than bleach and vomit
Comfy chairs preferably leather
No kids or food - unless it is clearly advertised. There is always a need for kids and food but when I want a nice drink I dont want to walk in - sigh and walk trudge out again looking for a different vibe.

However the best pub is the surprise pub, the one you stumbled across in a back street, on a hike, a snatched drink, a treat. One that you will never be able to replicate but will remember for ages.
 


LlcoolJ

Mama said knock you out.
Oct 14, 2009
12,982
Sheffield
I think the best pub is the one that my wife doesn't know that I'm in.

Those couple of hours spent ignoring emails, texts, WhatsApp etc and just having two pints of good beer while watching sport and/or talking shit with other blokes.

Best part of a day working from home (every day). But if I get grassed up then I'm up slack alley for such inoffensive behaviour.

People, FFS.
 






Jan 30, 2008
31,981
I think the best pub is the one that my wife doesn't know that I'm in.

Those couple of hours spent ignoring emails, texts, WhatsApp etc and just having two pints of good beer while watching sport and/or talking shit with other blokes.

Best part of a day working from home (every day). But if I get grassed up then I'm up slack alley for such inoffensive behaviour.

People, FFS.

under the thumb, no need for any excuses:wink:
regards
DF
 


Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
59,757
The Fatherland








Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
59,757
The Fatherland




Easy 10

Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Jul 5, 2003
61,791
Location Location
I think the best pub is the one that my wife doesn't know that I'm in.

Those couple of hours spent ignoring emails, texts, WhatsApp etc and just having two pints of good beer while watching sport and/or talking shit with other blokes.

Best part of a day working from home (every day). But if I get grassed up then I'm up slack alley for such inoffensive behaviour.

People, FFS.

One beer an hour ?

Do you know how much it costs to put sports on in pubs ? Landlords DESPISE people like you. I bet they silently wave their fists at your back as you leave.
 










Mr Cleansheets

New member
Jun 7, 2017
98
As an Australian I need a water view (during the day) and a bit of air through the place when its hot.

Cold beer with some of it craft.

Plenty of room - don't mind it being mobbed (at times) as long as there are plenty of staff.

Decent quality pool tables and TVs for sport. Happy for there to be a TAB (betting shop) on the premises as long as it's not in your face.

Beer garden with shade.

When in England I like certain different things - especially the sense of history. Love the Kirkstone Pass Inn at Grasmere and the Cittie of Yorke in London, but there are plenty of other great pubs. Some crap ones too - especially around Mile End where I was for a while in the 90s, but one of the best nights I ever had was in a pub that was just a bloke's garage and back yard in London. Brilliant. Totally illegal and I bet there's nothing like that anymore.
 


pasty

A different kind of pasty
Jul 5, 2003
30,343
West, West, West Sussex
I'd be happy to give this place my custom.

Can I throw in a dusty trophy behind the bar won by the pub darts/pool/crib league in 1977 and some witty graffiti in the bogs?

Ah, I love pub toilets graffiti. My favourite ever I spotted many years ago in The Sussex, East Street Brighton. There were two condom machines in the gents, and one of them had a sticker on it stating "This machine is alarmed". Underneath someone had written "the other one is scared shitless" :lolol:
 








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