What are your toilet habits ?

[Lammy]

Another toilet paper trick is when you have a 'non-flusher' to put a few sheets of bog roll on top of the fella as this helps it through the pipe!

I think it is standard practice to:

a) avoid eye contact at all times
b) never use an adjacent urinal if there are other options
c) all activity stops in a cubicle if someone else enters the arena
d) never leave the cubicle if there is someone there to ID you

optional extras

e) line the seat with toilet paper
f) add a few sheets to avoid splash back

 

[alan partridge]

i tend to piss and shit

 

[Marc]

One of my old jobs had a dirty toilet seat and I was dying for a poo one day so I went....needless to say (and I cant believe I'm telling you this! ) I got spots on my arse in a circle where I made contact with the dirty old seat!

Since that day I always (well on that seat) put down paper first then sat on that

 

[Eastleigh Seagull]

Another toilet paper trick is when you have a 'non-flusher' to put a few sheets of bog roll on top of the fella as this helps it through the pipe!

I think it is standard practice to:

a) avoid eye contact at all times
b) never use an adjacent urinal if there are other options
c) all activity stops in a cubicle if someone else enters the arena
d) never leave the cubicle if there is someone there to ID you

optional extras

e) line the seat with toilet paper
f) add a few sheets to avoid splash back

an excellent assessment of the thread of the day

 

[Easy 10]

So this is the best AND worst thread of the day.

Cool.

 

[Wilko]

Just for a laugh why not try sitting on the toilet the wrong way round..........give it a go

 

[Citrus]

Just for a laugh why not try sitting on the toilet the wrong way round..........give it a go

Will do, have to wait 'till next time though as I have just been!

 

[Wilko]

Will do, have to wait 'till next time though as I have just been!

be careful you dont miss

 

[Bozza]

One of the most annoying things in the world is when you are on the job and someone else choses a cubicle next to yours when there is another option.

I believe there should be one empty cubicle as a comfort zone at all times.

What is wrong with these people?

 

[thedonkeycentrehalf]

At home the bog is my refuge. If I'm off for a dump I like to be comfortable so I have a radio to listen to and a library of reading material which tends to include at any time, a Simpsons book, the latest 442 and/or When Saturday Comes and usually a matchday program or two.

All this is in addition to just reading the paper in peace and quiet without being interrupted by the missus or nipper.

Sanctuary!

 

[Easy 10]

It just doesn't take me long enough to justify all that. Unless I'm poorly, its a case of "bombs away" immediately, a few wipes and I'm off. Sometimes I might be 10 mins if I'm having a really good clear-out, but otherwise its not normally any longer than 5 mins.

If the poo on yer bums gone cold by the time you wipe it, you've definately been on there too long.

 

[Gritt23]

I don't bother with the paper bit down the pan first, or indeed on the seat. However, there may be the odd droplet on the seat from the previous occupant, so a quick wipe is needed, and then there is a paper trap for the stool to break it's fall against, however it's not a must.

Holding on while others are in the vicinity is preferable, although if I just can't hold on, I'll then wait until I hear them leave before leaving the safe sanctuary of my cubicle.

If standing a weeing in a cubicle, I do aim for the porcelin of the bowl rather than the water, as Chappers said, the noise of wee blasting against the water is just not a polite sound.


I'm amazed this thread has got onto the whole scrunching or folding debate. Personally I'm a folder.

 

[Braders]

So this is the best AND worst thread of the day.

Cool.

it was a slow day!

 

[Wilko]

Cant believe some of you dont lay 'a crash mat' prior to a dump, splash back tut tut !!

 

[beorhthelm]

must say i avoid dropping the payload if someone else is in the vicinity. Also find i will stay in the cubicle till the cost is clear, partly as i make the most disgusting smells and dont want to be indentified.

But, in case anyone thought this thread was a little tame... there is a chap at work, and this is no word of a lie, who eats crisps on the trap

 

[Eastleigh Seagull]

I know that mobiles are forbidden for talking purposes but a quick game of 'Snake' (dont get excited) can always break the monotony and allow enough relaxation time to get the job done.

 

[Gritt23]

Also find I will stay in the cubicle till the cost is clear,

Blimey you mean they not only charge you, but it is a variable charge. I don't blame you for staying put until the cost is clear, but sitting there haggling over the price must be a bit strange.

 

[Soton Seagull]

Easy 10 has the tactic which I use, the paper is an absolute must, or if you pee you get splashed in your own by-products!

 

[graz126]

pause until the coast is clear. definatley a favorite of mine. and smoke a cig it douses the smell.

 

[Gritt23]

pause until the coast is clear. definatley a favorite of mine. and smoke a cig it douses the smell.

I never feel safe about lighting a match around some of my deposits.