There's a bird in my bedroom

[Muhammad - I’m hard - Bruce Lee]

gold

 

[Gazwag]

That's bloody sick mate. You're supposed to drink white wine with dead sparrow

But its not a dead sparrow is it, its a STARLING, hence the quote

 

[Scotty Mac]

Get a floorboard up and put the cat under there, he'll soon sniff him out.

what if the cat gets stuck?

 

[Lindfield by the sea]

what if the cat gets stuck?

I've got 2 spare cats if you want them!

 

[Billy the Fish]

what if the cat gets stuck?

Send down a dog to fetch it

 

[chez]

Dont want to say anything really, I just think this thread, as most of ELS's are, is incredibly funny.

 

[Gazwag]

Send down a dog to fetch it

what if the dog gets stuck

 

[Barrel of Fun]

what if the dog gets stuck

Send a dog catcher in to get it.

 

[johnny jigsaw]

Ring your local mosque & say something cryptic like "the package is hidden under the floorboards".

In no time at all, there'll be dozens of police round your house lifting all the floorboards up, while you sit in the garden with a nice cup of tea.

You can also mention your garden if you need that digging over.

Once they're done, you can sue the arse off them.

 

[eastlondonseagull]

Ring your local mosque & say something cryptic like "the package is hidden under the floorboards".

In no time at all, there'll be dozens of police round your house lifting all the floorboards up, while you sit in the garden with a nice cup of tea.

You can also mention your garden if you need that digging over.

Once they're done, you can sue the arse off them.

Couple of grand compensation? Nice idea!

 

[Lord Cornwallis]

How about you starve your cat till it's thin enough to get through the hole? It'll be well hungery by then and will eat anything, including afore mentioned maggots.
Tie a long leash around it's neck so you can fish it out later, avoiding the need to send a dog in after it.
Simply check it's gob for traces of blood and feathers and you will sleep soundly in the knowledge that all is well.

 

[eastlondonseagull]

I've got four, so suppose one of them might be expendable

 

[Da Man Clay]

That wasn't a bird, although I fully understand your confusion - Pete Burns was actually a MAN

 

[Scotty Mac]

Send a dog catcher in to get it.

but what if the dog catcher gets stuck?

 

[Gazwag]

you dont feed him until he's thin enough to be unstuck

 

[1066gull]

Whats wrong with you? its becoming a rare thing birds entering guys room...

Think yourself lucky.

 

[Billy the Fish]

but what if the dog catcher gets stuck?

Send a fireman down to get him out

 

[TSB]

Send a fireman down to get him out

What happens if the fireman gets stuck?

 

[Everest]

Whats wrong with you? its becoming a rare thing birds entering guys room...

Think yourself lucky.

And you can think yourself UNLUCKY as you'll have no kind of bird in your room.

 

[Muhammad - I’m hard - Bruce Lee]

What happens if the fireman gets stuck?

you'd have to grease his pole first








just so he could get out like