The NSC limerick competition

[Lammy]

The thing about David Bellotti
Is that his arse is really quite spotty
He went down to sit
and pussed all his zits
and now he must use a big potty!

The C**t

 

[ben andrews' girlfriend]

this has got to be one of the funniest threads in a long long while!!

 

[Lammy]

At supper one day with Dick Knight
I said "Please can you help solve our plight?"
He said "I'll just ask the spouse,
to re-mortgage our house"
She said "yes" to our utmost delight!

 

[eiregull]

the once was a full back called cullip
who,s head resembled a tulip
he was good on the ground
a leader of men, quick and strong in the air
and scary to lok at due to his absence of hair.

 

[Lammy]

the once was a full back called cullip
who,s head resembled a tulip
he was good on the ground
a leader of men, quick and strong in the air
and scary to lok at due to his absence of hair.

There's only five lines in a limerick!

 

[The Clown of Pevensey Bay]

The legend they called Gotsmanov
Didn't issue so much as a cough
Coming down with the lurgie
He said: "My name's Sergei
Beolorussian, so germs bugger off!"

 

[El Presidente]

Tony Millard, they say you can hear
From a mile when the weather is clear
He pretend he is class
But takes it up the arse
And dribbles jizz from out of his rear

 

[El Presidente]

A fan who lives in a Beach Hut
Has two cats and a scrag ugly mutt
When he is depressed
He accuses Ernest
Of being gay, and taking it up the butt

 

[Ernest]

At supper one day with Dick Knight .,
I challenged him to a huge fight,
It made me feel so merry,
I had a fight too with Martin Perry,
And I kicked them both into shite

 

[Lord Cornwallis]

There once was a full back called Cullip
who's hair once resembled a mullitt
when the bald patch came through
he knew just what to do
and razored his head with a cutlass.

 

[Juan Albion]

At supper one day with Dick Knight
A Palarse fan soon saw the light
I've been such a fool
I didn't go to school
So I was too thick to see we are shite.

 

[On the Left Wing]

There was a man called Abromovic
Who had an unpleasant scrotal itch
And turning to Bellotti
He said "You also look quite spotty
... I caught it from you, you bitch!"

 

[The Clown of Pevensey Bay]

While drawing one-all at Port Vale
The Albion couldn't quite fail
to notice the din
caused by Leicester's home win
because three of their players had bail.

 

[Easy 10]

While drawing one-all at Port Vale
The Albion couldn't quite fail
to notice the din
caused by Leicester's home win
because three of their players had bail.

Now THATS a damn fine effort.
If only it wasn't an away win. That doesn't diminish the quality, mind.

 

[shingle]

There was a young lady from Uttoxeter
and all the young men waved their cocks at her
from one of these cocks
she contracted the pox
and poxed all the cocks
in Uttoxeter

 

[Yorkie]

Copied and pasted so I cannot take credit for it.

A striker from somewhere in Kent
Took free kicks which dipped and then bent.
In a match on the telly
He gave one some welly
And the keeper the wrong way he sent.

 

[Knightsworld]

there was a young striker called Knight
Who was playing exceptionally shite
Inept said McGhee
Just look at the tree
Yo've been hitting the damn thing all night.

 

[Albion Edd]

There was once a full-back named Cullip
who invented a new word which was dullip
he made this word up
to win the cup
for Sussex by the sea

 

[Albion Edd]

At supper one day with Dick Knight
He told Prescott to see the light
so he built us a ground
and soon we found
we were playing in the top flight

 

[Bwian]

The thing about David Bellotti
Is he likes things shoved up his botty
Bill Archer's forked tongue
Greg Stanley's Plums
And half of the team from Bath City