The North Stand Chat Arms

[Uncle Spielberg]

I will let you off with a warning but don't let it happen again.

 

[barney]

i've seen all she has to offer, sorry US. one more for me and i'm off methinks.

 

[SNOOBS]

A scrap broke out by the pool table but luckily SeagullTim came steaming in and threw both the perpetrators out on the arses. Ironic as he's usually the one organising scraps!

 

[Keeping The Dream Alive.]

A scrap broke out by the pool table but luckily SeagullTim came steaming in and threw both the perpetrators out on the arses. Ironic as he's usually the one organising scraps!

Soz'ard Seagull Tim, legend

 

[mattb]

love a pint of the black stuff please

 

[Trigger]

Is this place a new low for the world of pubs?

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Carlsberg Export special offer £ 2.45 a pint. Tonight only.

 

[Keeping The Dream Alive.]

I'll take one.

 

[John Dorian]

Hi all, any deals on tonight ? I'm parched.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

We have a deal on this week

Walkers Crisps 25p a packet. Svetlana has to be sacked after the Police found her servicing a customer being the smoking shed in the back yard.

 

[Seagullible]

time to get this closed. I am now enjoying a cigar at the bar waiting for the old bill to turn up and fine the pub and eventually close it down

 

[Jimmy Grimble]

Hi all, any deals on tonight ? I'm parched.

John Dorian.

 

[defrocked priest]

Hello waitress. I'd like to order the pub breakfast. Two eggs overeasy but served with both yolks broken and so overcooked they're like rubber.Please have the toast burned to charcoal,the chips so greasy one could sqeeze the oil out of them, the beans and blood pudding to be tinned and served cold. HP sauce with so little in the bottle I'd have to break it open to get at any. I'd like my tea to be lukewarm and have a lipstick smear on the rim of the cup.Please ensure my cutlery had dried food residue on the knife and one of the fork prongs is bent.Most important, once you have served me my plate do dissappear and not offer me anything else like a refill or salt and pepper.Can you do that for me?"
"We don't serve food like that here at The North Stand Chat Arms", she said.
"You did yesterday luv."

 

[defrocked priest]

"Hello waitress. I'd like to order the pub breakfast. Two eggs overeasy but served with both yolks broken and so overcooked they're like rubber.Please have the toast burned to charcoal,the chips so greasy one could sqeeze the oil out of them, the beans and blood pudding to be tinned and served cold. HP sauce with so little in the bottle I'd have to break it open to get at any. I'd like my tea to be lukewarm and have a lipstick smear on the rim of the cup.Please ensure my cutlery had dried food residue on the knife and one of the fork prongs is bent.Most important, once you have served me my plate do dissappear and not offer me anything else like a refill or salt and pepper.Can you do that for me?"
"We don't serve food like that here at The North Stand Chat Arms", she said.
"You did yesterday luv."

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

John Dorian.

Colin , chuck this lad out please

 

[Jimmy Grimble]

Good luck with that.

 

[Trigger]

Strippers in here have flaps like open taxi doors.

 

[Jimmy Grimble]

Shit pub, shit drink, shit pub shit drink

 

[John Dorian]

Conboy !!! what have I done ?

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Credit Crunch Evening Saturday 11th October 8pm

Fosters £ 1.20 a pint
Crisps 20p a packet

Stand up from Richie Morris
Srippers including Roxanna and Ingrid from Russia and Germany

£ 5 entrance