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The gummy saveloy job (funny pub story)







Questions

Habitual User
Oct 18, 2006
24,896
Worthing
The start was awful and the middle part dreadful. Then I'm afraid it just tailed off from that.
 


Questions

Habitual User
Oct 18, 2006
24,896
Worthing
This brings to mind an incident a couple of weeks ago. I was waiting at a train station in Minneapolis waiting for the light rail back to the hotel, and was chatting with the missus. A black guy, who looked a bit like Snoop Doggy Dog, was on the the other side of some railings behind us waiting for a bus. So he clocks my accent, comes over and is all like "oh hey man, where ya'all from", so I tell him. And we chat a bit, he's harmless enough. He then claims to be a stand up comic. And he launches into the longest, most tedious "joke" I have ever heard - but one he finds so HILARIOUS, he can barely get the words out, he's cracking himself up on every sentence.

It was something about a bird and a turtle in a pet shop, and they're friends but rivals, and they race each other (?) But unbeknown to the turtle, the bird is crapping on his back all the time, on his shell and weighing him down. So he's getting slower, but doesn't know why. That was the gist. Anyway, this monologue went on for WELL over 10 minutes, and how long can you try to laugh, and look sincere, in the face of such utter gubbins ? The missus never said a WORD, and just kept looking in completely the other direction.

To a truly merciful relief, our train turned up before the final act of this odd, rambling tale. I had to say "ok nice talking man, I've got to go" (for some reason I go semi-american when I'm in America). We parted on good terms, with a first-bump. Straaaange night (and the Twins lost, 3-2).

He's not confused with the girl who shat on the tortoise is he so that it looked liked a Vikings helmet ?
 








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