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sweetcorn poos







GUNTER

New member
Jul 9, 2003
4,373
Brighton
1: THE GHOST POO

The kind of poo where you feel it come out and you know you’vr done it but when you wipe there is nothing on the paper and there is no poo in the toilet. Where did it go?

2: THE CLEAN POO

The sort of poo which is so smooth and streamlined that it virtually falls out of your bottom. You can see poo in the toilet but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

3: THE HOT TAR POO

The kind of poo where even after 50 wipes you are still getting staining on the paper so you have to put some bog roll between your bum cheeks and in your underwear to prevent skid marks.

4: THE SECOND THOUGHT POO

Just as you think you’ve finished your poo and you have painstakingly wiped yourself clean and pulled up your undies to the knee, you realise there is some more poo to come out!

5: THE LINCOLN LOG POO

The kind of poo that’s so huge you’re afraid that it will not flush down the toilet unless you break it up into pieces with the bog brush. This poo only happens when you are at somebody else’s house.

6. THE SWEETCORN POO

Self explanatory

7: THE ‘WISH I COULD POO’ POO

You really feel as you need to poo but every time you try, all you manage is a couple of fart.

8: THE ‘SIDE BIRTH’ OR THE BOO-HOO POO

This poo hurts so much that you swear it is coming out sideways- your eyes water and you think you will need stitches.

9: THE FISHERMANS BOBBER OR FLOATING POO

You do your poo and flush two times but there are still several golf ball size pieces floating on the water line.

10: THE SULTANA POO

Tis type of poo is really frustrating. You get yourself ready for a ‘side-birth’ and spend about half an hour sweating it out on the bog, but all you manage is a small plop resembling a sultana.

11: THE ‘KLINGON’ OR THE ‘DANGLER’ POO

This kind of poo usually comes at the end of a ‘HOT TAR’ poo, and just refuses to fall off of your bottom, even after shaking your bum about.
 


















Yoda

English & European
GUNTER said:
3: THE HOT TAR POO

The kind of poo where even after 50 wipes you are still getting staining on the paper so you have to put some bog roll between your bum cheeks and in your underwear to prevent skid marks.

8: THE ‘SIDE BIRTH’ OR THE BOO-HOO POO

This poo hurts so much that you swear it is coming out sideways- your eyes water and you think you will need stitches.

11: THE ‘KLINGON’ OR THE ‘DANGLER’ POO

This kind of poo usually comes at the end of a ‘HOT TAR’ poo, and just refuses to fall off of your bottom, even after shaking your bum about.

I hate these ones :(, have nightmares about them. ;)
 




West Hoathly Seagull

Honorary Ruffian
Aug 26, 2003
3,549
Sharpthorne/SW11
GUNTER said:
1: THE GHOST POO

The kind of poo where you feel it come out and you know you’vr done it but when you wipe there is nothing on the paper and there is no poo in the toilet. Where did it go?

2: THE CLEAN POO

The sort of poo which is so smooth and streamlined that it virtually falls out of your bottom. You can see poo in the toilet but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

3: THE HOT TAR POO

The kind of poo where even after 50 wipes you are still getting staining on the paper so you have to put some bog roll between your bum cheeks and in your underwear to prevent skid marks.

4: THE SECOND THOUGHT POO

Just as you think you’ve finished your poo and you have painstakingly wiped yourself clean and pulled up your undies to the knee, you realise there is some more poo to come out!

5: THE LINCOLN LOG POO

The kind of poo that’s so huge you’re afraid that it will not flush down the toilet unless you break it up into pieces with the bog brush. This poo only happens when you are at somebody else’s house.

6. THE SWEETCORN POO

Self explanatory

7: THE ‘WISH I COULD POO’ POO

You really feel as you need to poo but every time you try, all you manage is a couple of fart.

8: THE ‘SIDE BIRTH’ OR THE BOO-HOO POO

This poo hurts so much that you swear it is coming out sideways- your eyes water and you think you will need stitches.

9: THE FISHERMANS BOBBER OR FLOATING POO

You do your poo and flush two times but there are still several golf ball size pieces floating on the water line.

10: THE SULTANA POO

Tis type of poo is really frustrating. You get yourself ready for a ‘side-birth’ and spend about half an hour sweating it out on the bog, but all you manage is a small plop resembling a sultana.

11: THE ‘KLINGON’ OR THE ‘DANGLER’ POO

This kind of poo usually comes at the end of a ‘HOT TAR’ poo, and just refuses to fall off of your bottom, even after shaking your bum about.

You forgot to put in the Guinness poo, jet black, and the tomato poo. I once saw a railway magazine with a picture of a very prosperous tomato plant growing just outside Brighton Station, and an episode of A Life of Grime from Bristol, where they showed some massive ones growing in a sewage farm.
 








Northstander

Well-known member
Oct 13, 2003
14,036
dog_doo_hard.gif


:drink:
 






Kendo3

New member
Jul 26, 2004
73
Uckfield
What about Sugar Puff Wee, after you've had the said puffs for breakfast, your mid-morning constitutional smells of the offending cereal.
 


jail bird

New member
Oct 19, 2003
239
sin bin
sugar puff wee is a very strange phenomenon, I've even asked my doctor colleagues and they were unable to give me an answer. Maybe asking the Honey Monster is our only option...
 


Hungry Joe.

New member
Mar 5, 2004
1,231
British Upper Beeding
Kendo3 said:
What about Sugar Puff Wee, after you've had the said puffs for breakfast, your mid-morning constitutional smells of the offending cereal.

Mine still smells of Sugar Puffs, and I haven't eaten them since I was about eight.
 






somerset

New member
Jul 14, 2003
6,600
Yatton, North Somerset
Lush said:
Never mind sweetcorn poo. What about beetroot wee?

Man that's scary if you forget you've eaten beetroot.


....no golden shower there then..?
 


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