Room 101

[pasty]

1. Cyclists who ignore traffic lights and one way streets
2. Snowboarders
3. Vegetables (possibly excepting peas)
4. Bruce Forsyth/Ronnie Corbet/Jimmy Tarbuck/Bob Monkhouse etc etc
5. The Brighton "fan" who threatened to "give me a slap" at Aldershot a couple of years ago unless I "proved I was Brighton" - Twat

 

[Stumpy Tim]

Portsmouth Football Club
Lateness - it's just rude
John Gregory
Richard Blackwood
"Wacky" people
CEO of the company I work for. Fat bastard

 

[Cian]

Linux (hell to use, slow as a dog, etc)
Longford Town FC (you know why)
Longford town (total kip)
The GAA (for not letting football be played on their grounds)
Wanky Apple computers - only a few PowerBooks escape this definition
The Midlands (Ireland)

 

[Brovion]

1 - People who live in the South but support Man U etc. (Sorry, an obvious one to start)
2 - The Daily Mail and every one who reads it.
3 - The reformed House of Lords. Why can't we have a democracy where we can actually VOTE for the people who control our lives.
4 - People who wear leather but think that wearing fur is appalling.
5 - The Israeli government
6 - Fervent Nationalists - any type.

What a misanthropic git I am! Most of those categories are groups of people!

 

[Lady Whistledown]

1. Ron Atkinson's version of the English language

2. Richard Madeley

3. Scousers (specifically the myth that they are all genetically programmed to be cheeky and hilarious)

4. TV producers who decide that the "tie of the round" in every cup competition is automatically the one which features two Premiership clubs. Yeah, they play each other all year round, so let's pay them more money to see them play each other AGAIN.

5. Men who wear wacky ties or waistcoats ("hey, i've got no personality, but don't you think THIS compensates?")

6. Reality TV programmes which revive the careers of Z List celebrities we hoped were buried forever (see Blackburn, Tony; Owen, Mark; Feltz, Fat-Arse).

 

[fatbadger]

Well, most people on here have a well-worthy couple of items, but Jambo as the best set of six so far.

looney - thanks, I appreciate your putting me in. I have always taken inordinate pleasure in being hated by people totally unworthy of my respect.

My six:

Archer, Bellotti, & their ilk
Blair
the Criminal Justice system
Maurice Cowling and his muppet disciples at Peterhouse
those little stickers on fruit and veg
the SWP

 

[Jambo Seagull]

1. Cyclists who ignore traffic lights and one way streets
2. Snowboarders
3. Vegetables (possibly excepting peas)
4. Bruce Forsyth/Ronnie Corbet/Jimmy Tarbuck/Bob Monkhouse etc etc
5. The Brighton "fan" who threatened to "give me a slap" at Aldershot a couple of years ago unless I "proved I was Brighton" - Twat

7. People who can't count up to 6

 

[Safeway]

"Wacky" people

"Yeah, I'm f***ing CRAZY, me. Mad for it I am."

1. People who don't title their NSC threads properly (really, REALLY fucks me off)
2. People that say "haitch"
3. People who sit next to me on the bus (unless they're fit)
4. The Newhaven Swing Bridge
5. NIMBYs
6. Thick people

 

[jmc]

1. Kids at Football - especially the bored Man U supporting cretins at albion matches, "which teams winning?", "not like old trafford is it?",

2. Those stuck in 1966 - big deal you one the World Cup, good well done, now move on and try and win it again, no I mean that last bit - honest! (and me being scottish)

3. Racists - Jock, taff, paki, n!gg3r, pom(sp), frog, whitey, scouser, suvvern puffs, ragtops - we all have the right to live on this planet whatever our beliefs, and it not not MY fault I was born in Scotland and you where born in outer Mongolia....

4. Real Criminals - Child abuse, Rape, Murder - let the victim (or relatives) decide the punishment - should liven up daytime TV!

5. Planning Application - Take too long, let's all sit down discuss and make a f***ing decision there and then!

6. Stress - If we could rid of this one please, just so that we can live a little more relaxed, and all those claiming to be "stressed" can get their arses back to work!

And breathe - these are my "top" six room 101's - all those that dont like it, can go in there too

 

[Brixtaan]

Good choices here.I'm re-doing mine:

Croydon. No change there, needs bombing to get rid of both architecture and people.

Italian football. They've gone out of their way to ruin the game since the early 80's.Like the Heysel disaster set English football back 10 yrs,this years European cup Final has set European football back 10yrs.Unsurprisingly it was dull as dishwater.

American music. Apart from 1 or 2 good sounds,it is amazing that a country of that size has produced a fraction of what the worlds true musical engine room,GB, has produced.

Marmite.Can be detected at 50 paces.

People who complain about cyclists all the time.Get a life! don't you understand that if the road was not blocked by dickheads in cars then i wouldn't go on the pavement.And also, momentum is everything on a bike,so if you think i'm stopping every 50 yds for traffic lights that are put there to control the problems that cars make then you will remain angry forever.

Daily Mail.Going with you on that one Brovian.I grew up with it thanks to parents but even from a very early age i knew there was something seriously disturbing about it.



ps,Easy10, why have i upset you? are you a happy rapper,living in Croydon working for the authorities stuffing brown goo into your mouth ?

 

[Easy 10]

ps,Easy10, why have i upset you? are you a happy rapper,living in Croydon working for the authorities stuffing brown goo into your mouth ?

It was tongue-in-cheek Brixtaan, as you put "Easy" at the top of your list of Room 101's in your first answer on this thread.

It was a poor quality pun in hindsight, but its out there now, and there's nothing I can do about it.

 

[alan partridge]

i'll have another go.........

tom Hark preston park
Beach hut
Gwynan
Fat badger
Alan partridge

i think you missed the '5 people you most admire on nsc' post looney

and brixtan, how can you say american music should go in room 101!?! scandalous

anyway, here's mine

1. real madrid
2. the daily mail
3. trying to plug in a plug when you can't quite reach the wall
4. nationalism (get a life)
5. talentless twats like robbie williams who think they are being 'ironic' (cos their marketting people told em to be)
6. computer problems

 

[Theatre of Trees]

Time to do mine now.

1. Champions League method of making sure there's no romance in the competition by removing all non Western European teams before the group stage. Seem to recall Berlusconi arguing along the lines that if AC Milan were knocked out by an Albanian team in the first round it would undermine the competition.
2. Posh birds on mobile phones using 'street' language. Particularly the phrase 'wicked'.
3. NSC posters who spend all their time posting smilies and replies to Kylie underwear threads then having the gall to demean any new poster who starts an Albion related news thread with a 'I don't trust you you're a newby' reply. Tends to be found amongst the under 18s on here.
4. Rangers and Celtic buying all decent players in Scotland to ensure there is no opposition, then whinging about how crap the Scottish League is and trying to devalue it further by moving elsewhere.
5. Nike. American bandwagon jumpers who refuse to sponsor anything unless you are already a world champion.
6. All women who refuse to sleep with me.

 

[Behind Enemy Lines]

Good thread.

1) The poor state of public transport in the UK
2) Adults who read Harry Potter
3) Women who spend ages trying to find the exact change when paying for things when I'm in the queue behind them. Women...hurry up and pay!
4) Snakes
5) Small minded, bigotted people
6) Computerised telephone answer systems like the ones Banks use, can I talk to a human being please.

 

[Brady's Old Lady]

1. Modern Packaging (eg video's, cassettes)
2. People who spend a fortune doing up old cars that have no right to be on a modern road.
3. Diving (Footballers that is)
4. People who act the big I am when they're on their mobile.
5. Tax
6. The corrupt powers that run world football

 

[SM BHAFC]

1. Wasps (insect not Rugby team)
2. Moquitoes
3. The Gaurdian and readers
4. Players who dive/cheat act as though been shot
5. Withdean (replaced by Falmer)
6. political correctness

 

[Brixtaan]

Sorry Easy10, good joke,good joke.

Any more like that and you'll be in Room101 too.

 

[black & white seagull]

1. Smokers in general, but in particular those who insist on lighting fags on the dancefloor at a club, endangering the eyeballs of anyone within arm's reach.

2. Tories in general, but in particular Tory students.

3. Racists in general, but in particular the racist Brighton fan standing next to me at Cambridge several years ago.

4. People who phone me at work in general, but in particular people who phone me at work, who I've never spoken to before in my life, who act as if they're my best mate (PR people especially).

5. People who abandon their football club when it's doing badly, but in particular the two P*lace fans I know who have done precisely that in the past couple of months.

6. People who say, 'I hate the French', but in particular people who say 'I hate the French', and expect you to agree with them.

and for a bonus...

7. Louise Nurding.

 

[Easy 10]

7. Louise Nurding.

I was with you all the way until that last one.
You are, quite clearly, as mad as a hatstand.

 

[Dunkstar]

3. NSC posters who spend all their time posting smilies and replies to Kylie underwear threads then having the gall to demean any new poster who starts an Albion related news thread with a 'I don't trust you you're a newby' reply. Tends to be found amongst the under 18s on here.

I think i need to add a couple:

1.People who generalise too much
2.People who spell their sig wrong