Racist jokes- DO NOT OPEN IF EASILY OFFENDED

[Commander]

What's the difference between a white man and a snake?

One is a evil, cold-blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan, and the other is a snake.


What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane?

Snow.


Why are there more "******" type jokes against blacks then whites?

Most whites can't read in Arabic.


What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man?

The PGA tour.


Why didn't the racist cross the road?

He was afraid of the other side.

 

[Garry Nelson's Left Foot]

What's the difference between a white man and a snake?

One can kill a honey badger whilst the other gets eaten by it?

 

[HampshireSeagulls]

What's the difference between a white man and a snake?

One is a evil, cold-blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan, and the other is a snake.


What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane?

Snow.


Why are there more "******" type jokes against blacks then whites?

Most whites can't read in Arabic.


What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man?

The PGA tour.


Why didn't the racist cross the road?

He was afraid of the other side.

Not bad, but the best one is the PGA tour joke. The rest are fairly weak, humour-wise.

The "other side" one is quite good, because it takes a little bit of thinking.

The one about "Arabic" is poor, because most blacks don't write in Arabic - I presume this one started as a "sand-******" joke but lost something in translation.

The "snow" joke has something about it, but I am sure it could be improved. 500000 people in a plane makes it a little unbelievable...

The snake joke is OK, because it can be changed to cover most of humanity.

And Looney.

Have you got any more?

Sorry, I am sat here trying to write a lesson plan for active and passive verbs, and I don't want to stay on task. Anyone else got a lesson plan for Year 6, active and passive verbs at sentence level?

 

[Commander]

Re: Re: Racist jokes- DO NOT OPEN IF EASILY OFFENDED

One can kill a honey badger whilst the other gets eaten by it?

A honey badger could kill a fully grown man, no problem.

 

[Garry Nelson's Left Foot]

Re: Re: Re: Racist jokes- DO NOT OPEN IF EASILY OFFENDED

A honey badger could kill a fully grown man, no problem.

not if the man was driving a tank. And the honey badger wasn't inside it.

 

[Garry Nelson's Left Foot]

Re: Re: Racist jokes- DO NOT OPEN IF EASILY OFFENDED

Sorry, I am sat here trying to write a lesson plan for active and passive verbs, and I don't want to stay on task. Anyone else got a lesson plan for Year 6, active and passive verbs at sentence level?

Why did the racist cross the road?

vs.

Why was the road crossed by the racist?

How's that?

 

[Pigsy]

Re: Re: Re: Racist jokes- DO NOT OPEN IF EASILY OFFENDED

A honey badger could kill a fully grown man, no problem.

Wolverine would take both.

 

[HampshireSeagulls]

Re: Re: Re: Racist jokes- DO NOT OPEN IF EASILY OFFENDED

Why did the racist cross the road?

vs.

Why was the road crossed by the racist?

How's that?

You star! Now, how do I drag that our for 60 minutes?

I am not sure I am allowed this to Year 6 though. Not the racist bit, but the crossing the road without properly checked adult supervision and a full health and safety check/risk assessment.

 

[Commander]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Racist jokes- DO NOT OPEN IF EASILY OFFENDED

not if the man was driving a tank. And the honey badger wasn't inside it.

Honey Badgers' can outrun tanks, no problem.

 

[Garry Nelson's Left Foot]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Racist jokes- DO NOT OPEN IF EASILY OFFENDED

Honey Badgers' can outrun tanks, no problem.

but how would they kill the man inside? And how would they survive a direct hit form a tank shell?

 

[Garry Nelson's Left Foot]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Racist jokes- DO NOT OPEN IF EASILY OFFENDED

You star! Now, how do I drag that our for 60 minutes?

Dunno. Get them to make up the replies?

 

[Brovion]

Re: Re: Racist jokes- DO NOT OPEN IF EASILY OFFENDED

Sorry, I am sat here trying to write a lesson plan for active and passive verbs, and I don't want to stay on task. Anyone else got a lesson plan for Year 6, active and passive verbs at sentence level?

Don't you mean active and passive 'voice' rather than active and passive 'verbs'? The verbs themselves can be used in any manner. I could be wrong.

 

[The Wookiee]

Big gay Rupert goes to the doctors to get his test results.
The doc says "im sorry Rupert, but you've got aids"
Rupert is devasted and asks the doc what to do, the doc says
" Eat 1 sausage, 1 head of cabbage, 20 jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts, 40 peanuts, half a box of all bran cereal and top it off with a gallon of prune juice"
"Will this cure me? " asked Rupert, "no" said the doc "but it'll give u a better understanding of what your f***ing arse is for....!"

 

[The Wookiee]

WEATHER WARNING

snow drifts likely!!!






please take flask of hot tea and spade on all journeys.























if caught in snow drink hot tea while spade pushes car

 

[Commander]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Racist jokes- DO NOT OPEN IF EASILY OFFENDED

but how would they kill the man inside? And how would they survive a direct hit form a tank shell?

They EAT Black Mambas FFS. A little shell is not going to be a problem.

 

[Garry Nelson's Left Foot]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Racist jokes- DO NOT OPEN IF EASILY OFFENDED

They EAT Black Mambas FFS. A little shell is not going to be a problem.

I think exploding tank artillery is enough to stop the honey badger in its tracks. Of course I may be wrong.

 

[HampshireSeagulls]

Re: Re: Re: Racist jokes- DO NOT OPEN IF EASILY OFFENDED

Don't you mean active and passive 'voice' rather than active and passive 'verbs'? The verbs themselves can be used in any manner. I could be wrong.

Yes - it is voice. I am tired, I am trying to supervise the building of a conservatory, keep three children amused (one of which is not mine), and write lesson plans. And listen to Virgin Radio so that I can win tickets to see Aerosmith in Hyde Park, and to be honest most of my attention is on the radio.....

 

[Commander]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Racist jokes- DO NOT OPEN IF EASILY OFFENDED

I think exploding tank artillery is enough to stop the honey badger in its tracks. Of course I may be wrong.

Yes, I'm afraid in this instance, you are.

 

[Race]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Racist jokes- DO NOT OPEN IF EASILY OFFENDED

I think exploding tank artillery is enough to stop the honey badger in its tracks. Of course I may be wrong.

is it an anti-tank badger or just plain armour-piercing?

 

[Lokki 7]

Hampshire writing lesson plans for year 6. I don't know whether this makes me feel secure in the knowledge that a highly skilled individual is teaching our kids. Or f***ing terrified that a trained killer and weapons expert is unleashing his knowledge on the next generation of hoodies.