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[Drinking] Pub deal breakers (what can you not tolerate in a boozer?).



Iggle Piggle

Well-known member
Sep 3, 2010
5,367
As part of a pool team we get to travel around numerous boozers which you wouldn’t normally want to set foot inside. The ones that put me off in particular

One that smells constantly of blocked drains almost to the point of sewage
Overly loud Fruit or Quiz machines
Any with flat undrinkable lager (I’m not a bitter fan)
My personal favourite was a pub with one of those punch machines in it. Unbelievably, the landlord was moaning that he had the ‘wrong’ type of clientele and couldn’t understand why

Also any Yates, Wetherspoon, Harvester, Sizzling pub, Wacky Warehouse or beefeaters are pubs I only set foot in as a last resort.

I used to hate pubs with kids. Now that I have 2 of my own, I have double standards on that particular issue.
 










Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
59,683
The Fatherland
Lack of decent artisanal barrel-aged late hopped keg beer.
 






Nibble

New member
Jan 3, 2007
19,238
I used to avoid at all costs pubs that entertained children but I have some mates that I would never see out if they couldn't bring their kids so I've mellowed a bit. Crabtree in Shoreham is quite nice for that. I have some mates in London though that are constantly having to break off and go and "deal" with whatever it is their kid has done/is being done to them. Winds me up no end. Get a babysitter and come for a proper drink! I'm sure parenting has some rewards but from what I can see it seems to be an endless series of interruptions and demands.
 


happypig

Staring at the rude boys
May 23, 2009
7,974
Eastbourne
Anywhere the local rugby club meets. There will be 20 odd posh blokes, all in ties and blazers talking loudly and at least half of them are looking for a fight.
 




Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
59,683
The Fatherland
Anywhere the local rugby club meets. There will be 20 odd posh blokes, all in ties and blazers talking loudly and at least half of them are looking for a fight.

and other half have their trousers around their ankles singing Rule Britannia.
 


Nibble

New member
Jan 3, 2007
19,238
A dealbreaker for me is definitely if it's got more than 1 or 2 students/teenagers in. and are always too loud, trying to prove something.
 


Nibble

New member
Jan 3, 2007
19,238
Oh and if they play reggae and serve "Jamaican Roasts" I will not stay. They did this to The Albert a few years back on Sundays for a while. I find the Rasta and Reggae scene massively annoying and quite depressing actually. Lots of people calling themselves SoulJa sitting around listening to rumbling bass and trying to project that they have found the secret of life. No, what you've done is ruined a very rare, rather good metal pub.
 






Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
59,683
The Fatherland
Menu which prefixes a meal with either 'posh' or 'deconstructed'.
 


Nibble

New member
Jan 3, 2007
19,238
Not a deal breaker but pubs with "amusing" A boards outside. eg. Soup Of The Day: Whiskey. Or that shit they're always writing on the outside of Earth & Stars.
 




Nibble

New member
Jan 3, 2007
19,238
In short, for me to enjoy a pub it has to be a humourless griefhole with no one chatting at the bar but sat by themselves on tables, it must be void of the happy laughter of children. It must not serve anything apart from pies and chips, no-one must be under 30 and no blacks. Anyone fancy a pint in The Albion?
 




The Large One

Who's Next?
Jul 7, 2003
52,343
97.2FM
Inspired by the worst pubs polls: What if you see it or experience it in a pub makes you leave and swear off that pub?

For me it's rude, inattentive bar staff. I have walked out of the Open House several times for that very reason. You?

All good points. Overly elaborate pub menus where the chef thinks he's in some 5 * restaurant. What's the matter with a nicely made cottage pie and solid chips?

Oh yes. If the pie is nice and moist and when you have run out of mash topping they have been soaking in the mince gravy for 10 mins? It's heaven. Peas too.

I used to avoid at all costs pubs that entertained children but I have some mates that I would never see out if they couldn't bring their kids so I've mellowed a bit. Crabtree in Shoreham is quite nice for that. I have some mates in London though that are constantly having to break off and go and "deal" with whatever it is their kid has done/is being done to them. Winds me up no end. Get a babysitter and come for a proper drink! I'm sure parenting has some rewards but from what I can see it seems to be an endless series of interruptions and demands.

A dealbreaker for me is definitely if it's got more than 1 or 2 students/teenagers in. and are always too loud, trying to prove something.

Oh and if they play reggae and serve "Jamaican Roasts" I will not stay. They did this to The Albert a few years back on Sundays for a while. I find the Rasta and Reggae scene massively annoying and quite depressing actually. Lots of people calling themselves SoulJa sitting around listening to rumbling bass and trying to project that they have found the secret of life. No, what you've done is ruined a very rare, rather good metal pub.

Not a deal breaker but pubs with "amusing" A boards outside. eg. Soup Of The Day: Whiskey. Or that shit they're always writing on the outside of Earth & Stars.

In short, for me to enjoy a pub it has to be a humourless griefhole with no one chatting at the bar but sat by themselves on tables, it must be void of the happy laughter of children. It must not serve anything apart from pies and chips, no-one must be under 30 and no blacks. Anyone fancy a pint in The Albion?

I only did the Worst Pubs World Cup for lightweight amusement, but that's quite a monologue of Dystopian misery you inflicted upon us there.

I'm going to have to watch a Harold Pinter play to cheer myself up now.
 






daveinprague

New member
Oct 1, 2009
12,572
Prague, Czech Republic
Oh and if they play reggae and serve "Jamaican Roasts" I will not stay. They did this to The Albert a few years back on Sundays for a while. I find the Rasta and Reggae scene massively annoying and quite depressing actually. Lots of people calling themselves SoulJa sitting around listening to rumbling bass and trying to project that they have found the secret of life. No, what you've done is ruined a very rare, rather good metal pub.


In the last 40 years of listening to reggae, and going out, ive never once noticed anybody projecting the have found the secret of life.
Given the choice of a reggae pub, or some wankers listening to unlistenable, undanceable racket .whilst wearing obligatory 'rock' patches on a Tesco Denim jacket with sleeves cut off... .ill take the reggae ;-)


ps...ive no idea what a Reggae Roast involves.
Always found Reggae uplifting rather than depressing...you want depressing.....listen to hip hop....or Metal.
 




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