Parental Nightmare - advice needed

[Billy Mays]

I've been in denial about this for a while now but finally my son has confronted me with the terrible truth and there is no more dodging it. Deep breath.
He wants to "support" Man United. There I've said it.
He is nearly 12 by the way. Could it just be a phase? Is it anything I've done?
I blame myself really. The play-off final at the Mil Stad was my last Albion game before we emigrated to the USA and I toyed with the idea of taking him along but selfishly plumped for a lads day on the train drinking spectacular amounts of lager.
Had he gone along would seeing his team play in a real stadium in front of 70,000 fans have made any difference?
Anyway the problem now is that he wants a Man United shirt and his grandmother (maternal) has asked his Mum what size. I even tried to buy him off with a new Florida Gators , ahem , "jersey" (college football for those not acquainted with the Gator nation - another National Championship beckons by the way but enough of that) but he didn't go for it.
Short of throwing him out is there anything that can be done?
Finally please resist the temptation to fling foul mouthed abuse his way. He's only a kid and I still love him whatever path he takes (I suppose). No such problems with his younger sister I'm happy to report.

 

[B.M.F]

That Fox Soccer Network has got a lot to answer for. All they talk about is Manure Have you not got an MLS or similar team like that down there. I go to the Rochester Rhino games occasionally to get a proper football fix even though the standard is not great ( Steve Guppy being the best player and he is well passed it ) it has got to be better than having one of your lifeblood supporting the scum that is Manure.

 

[Billy Mays]

No MLS "franchise" anywhere near here but from what I see from time to time on
Fux Saccer Channel the standard is appalling. College football is king down here and even though we have an NFL team (the Jaguars) more people follow the Gators. Funny you say that about Fox because that was exactly his reasoning "the only way I can follow Brighton is online. At least I can see Man United play on the telly". I've tried to explain that football is about so much more than winning the bloody Champions League but he just doesn't get it.
I suppose that at least if his Gran buys the shirt I'll have the comfort of knowing it didn't come out of my hard earned!
Where do the Rhinos hail from? Rochester MN or New York?

 

[alan partridge]

He'll get it in the end

A phase I reckon.

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

Parental nightmare. Stay strong. Just remember there are many, many people with you in this darkest of hours.

 

[Icy Gull]

I can understand why a 12 year old who doesn't live in Brighton but the other side of the Atlantic and hasn't been to many (any?) games would not be interested in supporting the same club as his father. He sees Premier League football on the tv, how many 12 year olds wouldn't support one of the teams they see when they have no opportunity to watch live English football? At least he doesn't support LA mickey mouse Galaxy.


Sorry Billy Mays this is entirely YOUR fault, for moving to the USA and depriving him of his birthright football team

 

[beorhthelm]

take some comfort from him at least wanting to follow proper football.

 

[Gully]

Put him up for fostering with a family from Sussex, whilst back in the UK he can undergo a re-education, reckon a couple of years should just about do it before he is sent back to you.

 

[Easy 10]

Sit him down quietly and ask him a few calm, straightforward questions as to why it is he wants to support Manchester United. Have a few answers prepared for his likely responses, and with patience and a bit of luck, you can steer him away from this unpleasant affliction.

"All my friends support Man U"
- you don't always need to follow the crowd son. Support a team for your own reasons, be an individual.

"They're the best team and play the best football and win lots of games"
- thats as maybe, but there's more to football than that. Winning when you're expected to win isn't nearly as much fun as winning when you're not expected to. Winning all the time soon gets boring.

"I can watch them on the TV, they're on lots of times"
- watching on the TV doesn't compare to actually being AT the game though son. Going to the game is a day out, you get to soak up the atmosphere, sing some songs, meet with friends. You'll rarely, if ever, go to a Man U game. With the Albion, you can go every other week.

"But I want to go to a proper stadium"
- then I'll take you to Wembley to see and England World Cup qualifier. And we'll have a proper stadium ourselves in a couple of years, and by then you'll be of an age where you can have your own season ticket with me"

"But I want to see all those amazing Man U players"
- listen son, and listen carefully, because I'm not going to say this again. If you think you're going to support that Manc scum whilst living under MY roof, then you're in for a nasty shock. If you mention them again, if you flick over to watch them on Sky, if you so much as come downstairs wearing a red shirt, then I will give you such a beating you won't know what day it is. The only red you'll be seeing is your own claret splattered all over the walls. Do I make myself clear ?



That should sort it.

 

[The Large One]

Tell him he doesn't have a soul, and that he is not your son.

 

[The Large One]

Or show him the YouTube video of Peter Ward, your near-neighbour, scoring against Man U, and remind him that this is what happens when we play them.

 

[Lord Bracknell]

You have a couple of days to sign him up for Gully's Gang and tell him he can get a priority ticket to watch Manchester CITY.

When he asks who they are, tell him that if he must support a team in Manchester, England, England, this is the one the smart kids support.

 

[Braders]

Sit him down quietly and ask him a few calm, straightforward questions as to why it is he wants to support Manchester United. Have a few answers prepared for his likely responses, and with patience and a bit of luck, you can steer him away from this unpleasant affliction.

"All my friends support Man U"
- you don't always need to follow the crowd son. Support a team for your own reasons, be an individual.

"They're the best team and play the best football and win lots of games"
- thats as maybe, but there's more to football than that. Winning when you're expected to win isn't nearly as much fun as winning when you're not expected to. Winning all the time soon gets boring.

"I can watch them on the TV, they're on lots of times"
- watching on the TV doesn't compare to actually being AT the game though son. Going to the game is a day out, you get to soak up the atmosphere, sing some songs, meet with friends. You'll rarely, if ever, go to a Man U game. With the Albion, you can go every other week.

"But I want to go to a proper stadium"
- then I'll take you to Wembley to see and England World Cup qualifier. And we'll have a proper stadium ourselves in a couple of years, and by then you'll be of an age where you can have your own season ticket with me"

"But I want to see all those amazing Man U players"
- listen son, and listen carefully, because I'm not going to say this again. If you think you're going to support that Manc scum whilst living under MY roof, then you're in for a nasty shock. If you mention them again, if you flick over to watch them on Sky, if you so much as come downstairs wearing a red shirt, then I will give you such a beating you won't know what day it is. The only red you'll be seeing is your own claret splattered all over the walls. Do I make myself clear ?



That should sort it.

Easy you are a LEGEND

 

[rool]

In the last five years my boys have supported Bayern Munich, Fulham and Chelsea. In all that time I have always brought them over at least once a year to see a match and I thought I was onto a losing battle. However, gradually over the last year I have noticed my albion videos, DVDs, books etc in my eldests room and he has virtually lost interest in the Premiership.

I don't know whether it's accessability to the club or familiarity but I think he can relate more to the Brighton players than he does to just faces on the television.

My youngest is just a glory hunting Chelsea fan but still likes to go to Withdean and wear his Albion shirts, so not all is lost.

 

[Cian]

In the last five years my boys have supported Bayern Munich, Fulham and Chelsea. In all that time I have always brought them over at least once a year to see a match and I thought I was onto a losing battle. However, gradually over the last year I have noticed my albion videos, DVDs, books etc in my eldests room and he has virtually lost interest in the Premiership.

I don't know whether it's accessability to the club or familiarity but I think he can relate more to the Brighton players than he does to just faces on the television.

My youngest is just a glory hunting Chelsea fan but still likes to go to Withdean and wear his Albion shirts, so not all is lost.

And you dragged them to Athlone in the pissing rain to see a 0-0, you must be good at programming them if that didn't put them off

 

[rool]

And you dragged them to Athlone in the pissing rain to see a 0-0, you must be good at programming them if that didn't put them off

They begged me to as well, unlike the last limerick 37 match I took them to a couple of weeks back when they asked me to take them home at half time

 

[Cian]

They begged me to as well, unlike the last limerick 37 match I took them to a couple of weeks back when they asked me to take them home at half time

The players have been known to want to go home at half time from Jackman Park!

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

Tell him that if he does you will change his name to Gaylord Ringpiece because until he is 16 you are legally allowed to alter his details.

Worked with mine

 

[brighton rock]

it could be worse for you he might have wanted to join the palace

 

[Easy 10]

Why would he want to do that ?