Office Etiquette

[bhaexpress]

Over here there's a backlash, many 'IT professionals' out of work.

 

[Tooting Gull]

Is it just me, or did this thread suddenly get less interesting when it veered sharply away from the weird lifestyle of Chappers’ incompetent colleague, and moer towards a sort of Dear Deidre for IT people?

 

[aftershavedave]

Is it just me, or did this thread suddenly get less interesting when it veered sharply away from the weird lifestyle of Chappers’ incompetent colleague, and moer towards a sort of Dear Deidre for IT people?

my thoughts exactly...bring back the pervy sex!

 

[Brovion]

Is it just me, or did this thread suddenly get less interesting when it veered sharply away from the weird lifestyle of Chappers’ incompetent colleague, and moer towards a sort of Dear Deidre for IT people?

Yeah, sorry, partly my fault - it did get a LOT less interesting.

Anyway Chappers what else can you tell us about the sex lives of your colleagues? Go and get them drunk and get them to spill the beans. You did something like that before I remember with your fit female boss.

 

[Bad Ash]

Interesting office gossip? Hmm nothing recent, but not long after I started at my current job I went out for a drink with my new workmates. After a pint my boss was totally pissed and spent most of the night talking about their boyfriends huge cock. By the end of the night there was just a couple of us including my boss left. My boss said that I was very attractive and would like to shag me. Only problem is that he's gay I made my excuses and left...

 

[bhaexpress]

You should be working and not surfing the net, typical bloody whinging users.

 

[aftershavedave]

well it may not be office gossip, but an old lady (pushing 70 i'd say) approached me in the fruit section of waitrose last week and asked me how i could tell if her melons were ripe!

i kid you not...i almost had a cardiac

 

[bhaexpress]

Well, in order to check for ripeness press the tips and if they're very soft they're so ripe they've god bad.

 

[NMH]

I shouldn't really tell you anything but the one that freaks me out the most is that her and her boyfriend go out to these crazy goth nights, her in leather trousers and corset, him just in leater pants and a gimp mask. She has nipples pierced, he has his cock pierced. Apparently while out the chain themselves together so that if he gets to far away (we're talking inches here) she can stop him (don't worry apparently nothing harmed and its all very safe).
They then normally find a girl to go home with and she and the girl go at it while the bloke sits in the corner begging them to stop (it turns her on apperntly). They don't anyway and he ends up wanking himself off.

Its all very strange.

Funny, I find the concept of any bird who goes out looking for other birds to do the nasty with rather intrigueing. The boyfriend ends up wanking though, so he must really be a bit of .....well, a wanker . I mean, come on, two wet and horny women in the same room and all he can manage to do is have a tug??

I think he needs ousting, and the fact that she retells the story to anyone, is a tangible invitation.

Shame about the big arse.

Obviously someone should dump the numpty and rumpty with humpty

 

[Lord Bracknell]

If you IT people think the world is full of idiots, just explain one thing.

Why, when I want to switch a computer OFF, do I have to click on the word START?

Pots and kettles.

 

[bhaexpress]

If you IT people think the world is full of idiots, just explain one thing.

Why, when I want to switch a computer OFF, do I have to click on the word START?

Pots and kettles.

You have to 'Start' the process to 'Stop' the machine ... Doh ! It's a number of programs functioning in sequence that actually bring your machine to a halt. The original PCs and in fact all computers irrespective of size had to be powered off by toggling (pressing) the power button as you would with a TV or stereo, clear ?

End of patronising post.

 

[Lord Bracknell]

clear ?

No. I'm with the middle aged nurses on this.

 

[Heath Park Ranger]

And the best part about Chappers sordid story has to be that just maybe one day she might bring her other half to some work function....the innuendos would be endless - tosser:

Just make sure you tell all the normal, fit birds not to accept their offer of a lift home.

During my night shift yesterday morning, someone rang me at 2:45am asking me if I knew of any saunas around Paddington that are still open....must be of gay orientation.

Now if asking me for ideas wasn't bad enough, after I had then told him I didn't know of any he then politely advised me to look at www.gaysauna.co.uk to find out what I could see on there.
I just simply couldn't tell him that the answer was sweaty men with only a towel round their waist/hands on head/large smile on face...I think it may have been too much for him. :safeway

 

[Heath Park Ranger]

Sorry - at the end of second line, I meant to say:

 

[Gwylan]

Where the hell do you work HPR? Some sort of sauna helpline?

BTW, I'd endorse what 80s Seagull said about nurses - last time I was at out patients I actually had to help the nurse trying to enter my details as she didn't know how to connect to the printer, she wasn't middle-aged either.

Must be a new money-saving scheme from the NHS, get the patients to do IT support.

 

[Heath Park Ranger]

Gwylan - I work for Gays 'R' Us on their 24 hour helpline.

OK, so I don't - I really work for AmEx Centurion Card in Brighton doing nightshifts.

Talking about 80's Seagull, I'm wondering who the fit bird is on his avatar....

 

[CHAPPERS]

And the best part about Chappers sordid story has to be that just maybe one day she might bring her other half to some work function....the innuendos would be endless - tosser:

I've actually met him a couple of times, he seems like a nice enough bloke.

NMH - I know, it is weird that he just wanks himself off, i was more shocked by this part of the story than any other.