Office Etiquette

[Hannibal smith]

normally find a girl to go home with and she and the girl go at it while the bloke sits in the corner begging them to stop (it turns her on apperntly). They don't anyway and he ends up wanking himself off.

I must be getting old, my idea of a good night out consist of a beer and a curry.

 

[zefarelly]

this is the only thread to make me laugh all day!

we have a printer/copier, and it has a very hormonal temperment, speed isnt the issue, its quick, but what it does is very random and unpredictable, its also got a huge arse . . . .we had to move our slow reliable skinny plotter to fit it in the office

 

[Dandyman]

I shouldn't really tell you anything but the one that freaks me out the most is that her and her boyfriend go out to these crazy goth nights, her in leather trousers and corset, him just in leater pants and a gimp mask. She has nipples pierced, he has his cock pierced. Apparently while out the chain themselves together so that if he gets to far away (we're talking inches here) she can stop him (don't worry apparently nothing harmed and its all very safe).
They then normally find a girl to go home with and she and the girl go at it while the bloke sits in the corner begging them to stop (it turns her on apperntly). They don't anyway and he ends up wanking himself off.

Its all very strange.

...but extremely amusing

 

[Brovion]

I think I might have to go and edit my 'Favorite NSC threads' post!

 

[Tooting Gull]

There's some odd shit going on out there. About a year ago I opened a letter addressed to a girl who obviously used to live in my flat (yes, I know you shouldn't but apparently she hadn't lived there for two years so figured it couldn't be that important).

It was a whole load of PR guff from something called 'Torture Garden'. The clue is in the name, absolutely hilarious. It seems to be some sort of underground and movable club night for those in the fetishist game, gimp masks, you name it, and a mail order catalogue offering preferential rates for the apparel. I'm very pleased with the cut-price rubber shorts, just looking for the right occasion.

 

[Herne Hill Seagull]

 

[El Presidente]

A girl I work with admitted to me one night whilst she was a bit tiddly to tweaking her own nipples during rumpty, she is rather attractive and I cannot talk to her anymore without my mind wandering..........

 

[aftershavedave]

I'm very pleased with the cut-price rubber shorts, just looking for the right occasion.

nsc christmas party toots?

 

[bhaexpress]

IT people do that they are a little on the sub human side

If seem a little inhuman it's purely due to the fact that the majority of users are retarded.

 

[bhaexpress]

At least your printer works!
We've got a printer/photocopier with selective memory

Bet it's a Canon !

 

[tedebear]

If seem a little inhuman it's purely due to the fact that the majority of users are retarded.

Well when you start asking us to change passwords on our Omni 1 globaluser domain accounts and change security groups in order to successfully attach to the shared server slon1120203a\dev$ what are we supposed to think....

Easier option would be - please change your login account password and ask for access to your shared drive so you can open your excel file !!

its all in the lingo mate

 

[Dandyman]

There's some odd shit going on out there. About a year ago I opened a letter addressed to a girl who obviously used to live in my flat (yes, I know you shouldn't but apparently she hadn't lived there for two years so figured it couldn't be that important).

It was a whole load of PR guff from something called 'Torture Garden'. The clue is in the name, absolutely hilarious. It seems to be some sort of underground and movable club night for those in the fetishist game, gimp masks, you name it, and a mail order catalogue offering preferential rates for the apparel. I'm very pleased with the cut-price rubber shorts, just looking for the right occasion.

I know a girl who went there dressed just in cling-film - apparently had the time of her life !

 

[Brovion]

If seem a little inhuman it's purely due to the fact that the majority of users are retarded.

So true bhaexpress. As everybody knows IT is an eternal struggle between the IT industry and the Universe. We're trying to produce better equipment and better software and the Universe is trying to produce bigger idiots. So far the Universe is winning ...

 

[bhaexpress]

Well when you start asking us to change passwords on our Omni 1 globaluser domain accounts and change security groups in order to successfully attach to the shared server slon1120203a\dev$ what are we supposed to think....

Easier option would be - please change your login account password and ask for access to your shared drive so you can open your excel file !!

its all in the lingo mate

Oh dear. I rest my case !

Truth of the matter is that after 30 plus years in IT I think that my change of country may very well bring about a change of occupation.

 

[Italiaseagull]

So true bhaexpress. As everybody knows IT is an eternal struggle between the IT industry and the Universe. We're trying to produce better equipment and better software and the Universe is trying to produce bigger idiots. So far the Universe is winning ...

All too depressingly true!

 

[zefarelly]

well Im an engineer, and I can safely say we had a lot less cockups before computers.

but we needed more people and it took twice as long to do things, so all computers do is make things faster. and cheaper

sorry I have no tales of office sexy shenanigans on drawing boards . . . .although a colleague used to get stoned in steel stores at lunchtime

 

[El Presidente]

IT folk living in a smug bubble isolated from the rest of humanity and filled with dreams that the next call will be from Buffy the Vampire Slayer wanting rampant sex with someone with a witty 'On The Buses' T shirt, acne, sideburns and every Genesis album .......surely not

 

[JJ McClure]

So true bhaexpress. As everybody knows IT is an eternal struggle between the IT industry and the Universe. We're trying to produce better equipment and better software and the Universe is trying to produce bigger idiots. So far the Universe is winning ...

Try doing IT support in a hospital. Middle aged nurses it seems are simply not designed to understand computers.

 

[bhaexpress]

Try doing IT support in a hospital. Middle aged nurses it seems are simply not designed to understand computers.

The root cause of the problem is actually with employers. It's all very well for we IT types to know about computers but how can you expect to sit somebody in front of a complex (and despite what Microsoft, Apple or whoever tell you) not at all user friendly then what can you expect.

Most firms flinch at the cost of IT training of any kind yet fail to see how many 'Person Years' (how PC is that ?) get wasted annually because staff don't know the basic functions of a computer ?

I can honestly say that amongst the multitudes of companies I've worked for (both full time and as a contractor) I've only known one that activly encouraged staff to become computer literate. You can say that the proof in the pudding was the greater productivity from staff and greatly reduced IT problems as the users had a sufficient knowledge to identify a problem.

 

[zefarelly]

BRING BACK PENCILS . . . can we start a campaign . .

computers suck, and cost jobs . . . .theyre also very handy for arsing around at work though