NSC Summer Cliché Thread

[Seagull kimchi]

WHO THE **** DO YOU THINK YOU AM - My source is golden - I'll meet you outside Debenham's and we'll see who knows more unknowable stuff than the other and decide who's the bigger bellend by pushing and shoving and swearing U Cant.

 

[Eric Youngs Contact Lense]

Serious concerns about the fixture scheduling, the "Tuesday night away up Norf 'sake" despite the fact that most of the games will get rescheduled for Sky..
Former Prem League Club supporters "in peace... how do you see your chances.. admire Chris Hughton, looking forward to visiting your stadium, hope you challenge but think we will finish above you..."

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

For the 'Big Name' friendly at the Amex, there will be umpteen cliches about how the catering staff couldn't speak English, couldn't work a till, put milk in the Bovril, can't wait til the Uni students come back and rescue the caterers in September, oh and how the milky Bovril ran out earlydoors in the WSU. Think that's about covered it...

 

[Postman Pat]

Of course there is the thread where we don't tonk a lesser team in a friendly and all the doom mongers appear...... CH needs to sign 8 players, new signing XXX looks awful/overweight, relegation on the cards, tearing up my season ticket....

 

[Marshy]

This is easily the best thread on NSC since... well forever

 

[Mowgli37]

If we take anyone on a season-long loan these familiar chestnuts will be spotted soon enough:

"*name of player* doesn't care about the club"

"You can't build a team around loanees"

"If he was that good why have they sent him out on loan?"

"Bloom/Barber/Burke taking the cheap option I see"

"Bargain bucket signing"

Etc

Etc

Etc

 

[Iovan The Sweeper]

Albion player says "I'm going to sit down and think about my future" = he's leaving

Non-Albion player says "I'm going to sit down and think about my future" = he's in talks with Derby / QPR / Forest (if he's a striker)

Incidentally, why do players have to sit down and think about their futures? Why can't this be achieved whilst jogging, lying on the beach or maybe doing a handstand?

 

[Badger]

I'm looking forward to our first SWOOP

 

[Pogue Mahone]

Albion player says "I'm going to sit down and think about my future" = he's leaving

Non-Albion player says "I'm going to sit down and think about my future" = he's in talks with Derby / QPR / Forest (if he's a striker)

Incidentally, why do players have to sit down and think about their futures? Why can't this be achieved whilst jogging, lying on the beach or maybe doing a handstand?

Your mind is otherwise occupied when you are doing a handstand.

 

[Gullflyinghigh]

Hopefully we won't see this with regards to the albion this summer but whenever a potential managerial appontment is discussed it never takes long for 'knows the league' to crop up.

It. Means. Nothing! NOTHING!

 

[TSB]

'Imminent'
'Incoming'
Someone losing their shit and declaring that 'it's going to be a long season' because we haven't destroyed every team we've played pre-season

 

[Norman Baker suck my lozenge]

We're lucky to have him.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

do you lose sleep at night worrying that people might not talk about you on nsc?

No need for that, was there?

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Hopefully we won't see this with regards to the albion this summer but whenever a potential managerial appontment is discussed it never takes long for 'knows the league' to crop up.

It. Means. Nothing! NOTHING!

And after Newcastle drop theit first point it will be "Benitez DOESN'T KNOW this league"

Incidentally, We're DOOMED!

 

[Gullflyinghigh]

And after Newcastle drop theit first point it will be "Benitez DOESN'T KNOW this league"

Incidentally, We're DOOMED!

Very true, as well as the stern belief that Newcastle that should have appointed a British manager and had more PASSION.

 

[Ernest]

Anything is BETTER than the Withdean DAYS and endless IDIOTS spouting

Dick Tight SAVED the club

THAT was truly NAUSEOUS

 

[Lurchy]

When the club signs a promising young players from the lower leagues for the development squad, someone will complain and will ask "Why aren't we setting our standards higher?" or / and why the club aren't concentrating on players for the 1st team.