Nick Names

[ozseagull]

Used to work with a bloke called FRUB. Once the managers found out what it stood for they banned it. Bullying apparently.
Fat Repolsive Ugly *******

 

[savanah]

Best one I heard was a guy called biffo.He thought it was because he looked like a bear when in reality it was because he was a Big Ignorant ****er From Oldham.

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

Played for a new cricket club and they asked me what I do .... after a couple of games I made a big score and they all started calling me "Ron". This went on for a few weeks before I finally gave in and asked why. Skipper replied: "because you do exactly what it says on the tin".

Got a very quiet lad playing in our 3rds, he's called "mute".
And a stocky big-hitter in the 4ths called "tug-boat" coz he could drag anything out of a harbour.

 

[SouthCoastOwl]

I used to have a manager and he was known in the office as Tugboat. Whenever anyone in the office suggested doing something new or differently he's always say "I'll take that on board".

Once played golf with a bloke callled Soggy. Apparently he used to own a chippy and the name was a reference to the crispness of his chips.

A mate passed comment once that Gully's Girls were lovely and he immediately became Paedo Andy.

 

[Hamilton]

I forgot the best nick name. A friend of mine is known as Oliver Kahn.

This all stemmed from that infamous 5-1 victory in Germany. We were watching in a packed and noisy Shakespeare's Head and during a heated moment between the real Oliver Kahn and the ref my mate stood up to remonstrate with the TV. Just as he did so an coincidental hush descended on the room. Why my friend chose to shout the words he did I'll never know, but he screamed "Oliver Kahn eat my cum!" The entire room turned as one and stared at him. He was a little drunk.

To this day he is known as "Oliver Kahn".

 

[Hamilton]

I used to have a manager and he was known in the office as Tugboat. Whenever anyone in the office suggested doing something new or differently he's always say "I'll take that on board".

Once played golf with a bloke callled Soggy. Apparently he used to own a chippy and the name was a reference to the crispness of his chips.

A mate passed comment once that Gully's Girls were lovely and he immediately became Paedo Andy.

'Paedo Andy'

We all walk a knife edge don't we? One loose innocent comment and you can be tarred and barreled for life.

 

[Superphil]

Edited - dull

 

[Puppet Master]

I forgot the best nick name. A friend of mine is known as Oliver Kahn.

This all stemmed from that infamous 5-1 victory in Germany. We were watching in a packed and noisy Shakespeare's Head and during a heated moment between the real Oliver Kahn and the ref my mate stood up to remonstrate with the TV. Just as he did so an coincidental hush descended on the room. Why my friend chose to shout the words he did I'll never know, but he screamed "Oliver Kahn eat my cum!" The entire room turned as one and stared at him. He was a little drunk.

To this day he is known as "Oliver Kahn".

(but can you eat a liquid?)

 

[essbee]

Nickname is one f******* word.

ffs.

 

[Guinness Boy]

Just remembered there's a cabbie who frequents the coffee van at Portslade Station who is known as "Dougie" after Douglas Bader. This is because he never gets out of his cab leading to the suspicion he has no legs.

 

[red star portslade]

Nickname is one f******* word.

ffs.

Yeah sorry about that! But it's not easy typing on a smart phone one handed in a darkened wardrobe.

 

[essbee]

Red star parcels,

I laughed at that.

 

[The Maharajah of Sydney]

A guy I know is called "The Clock" .
He has one hand bigger than the other .

 

[Billy Whizzkid]

Used to work with a bloke who every day at 5pm without fail would switch his PC off, put on his coat and within 60 seconds he'd be out of the door. So we called him Levi because he'd always leave at 5.01.

 

[Meade's Ball]

I've told the tale on innumerous occasions i am sure of the day in my late 20s in which a gang of around 10 12-year olds surrounded me in a park calling me a lookalike of a schoolmate of theirs: Fatty Bighead. They began to call me a virgin, but i pretended to have a recently-deceased wife, causing them to apologise briefly, and then go back to calling me Fatty Bighead. I told some friends and the name stuck with a few of them.

 

[Razzoo]

I worked with an old Irish fella who nicknamed a guy Candles because he was always at work and would work by candlelight when all else had long left if he could. When a new bloke started at work and was introduced to Candles he aked him "Why do the call you that, are you not very bright?"

 

[DarrenFreemansPerm]

Here's a list of my pals from years gone by

Big John - He's big
Stick Joe - Is very thin
Pin - Has a small head
Dave - Is called Chris
Tourist - Difficult to explain this one
Student - Eternal scrounger and soap dodger
Mouse - Small
Magpie - Last name is Magson
Skip - Capatain of the football team
Monkfish _ Bit of a tool
Dave Camel -Girl called Helen
Mo - Real name Peter
Shoe - Downs pint from his shoe
Fingers - Light fingered
Jeff -Girl called Carly
Beard - Had a full beard from about 12 years old

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Here's a list of my pals from years gone by

Big John - He's big
Stick Joe - Is very thin
Pin - Has a small head
Dave - Is called Chris
Tourist - Difficult to explain this one
Student - Eternal scrounger and soap dodger
Mouse - Small
Magpie - Last name is Magson
Skip - Capatain of the football team
Monkfish _ Bit of a tool
Dave Camel -Girl called Helen
Mo - Real name Peter
Shoe - Downs pint from his shoe
Fingers - Light fingered
Jeff -Girl called Carly
Beard - Had a full beard from about 12 years old

Good list. I have played football / cricket over the years with:

Georgie - Mark, who wore an Weah AC Milan shirt once.
Tigger - excitable
Youth - was the youngest when he joined. Still 'youth' in his thirties, though.
Eddie - Duane
Roo - Aussie, innit
Goat - had a goatee
Piggy - no idea at all. Was a squaddie though, so probably something horrible.
Sparky - looked a BIT like Mark Hughes
Scratch - honestly I have absolutely no idea, although it could have been down to personal hygeine. He only played about 3 or 4 games a season, but he kept a pair of old pants in the bottom of the team kitbag, which he just fished out and wore every time he turned up. They were never washed in the 6 years or so he played, as no way would whoever had the kit that week to wash, go anywhere near them.

 

[Nibble]

I had a biology teacher at school whose name was Bob Walters. He was very fat and round and was called Bob The Pea for years.