My dogs arse.

[Benjyman1990]

My dog is terrible. She trumps regularly, every day. And if you say "ohh what have you done?? You smelly sh*tbag!" she consequently wags her tail and wafts it around the room.

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

Best fart ever. My dog got hold off six eggs, in their shells, coming or past the end of life. It was evil, even HE looked at me and tried to blame me!

 

[Mr Burns]

 

[HovaGirl]

My dog once farted in her sleep and managed to wake herself up with a start from the force of it. She was obviously in a state of complete shock at both the noise and the smell as she then proceeded to start barking at her own arse.

I'm howling at all this!

 

[HovaGirl]

Took the family dog for a walk one day. His deposit was a complete sliced carrot.

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

We have my mothers dog - which had terrible bad breath and stank - to describe it as farting does an injustice to its toxicity.

In a separate issue she was having trouble eating - and had to have some teeth removed. After the removal and a dose of strong anti-biotics she came back with clean breath and no stink.

The downside is - there is no-one to blame now except me.

 

[Stat Brother]

We've all had a good day today.
Said dog is lovingly sleeping at my feet, arse pointing at me, snoring his head off.

But every ten minutes of so, he's having a good sleep stretch.

This I have learned is the signal that in 10 to 20 seconds my retinas will be burned out of my face.

Filthy b*****d.

 

[red star portslade]

Dogs are shit!

Cats rule ok!

 

[Baron Pepperpot]

Thank you so much for this thread. I'm sick of reading nauseous threads about Jimmy Savile or some other evil that has befallen us.

 

[thealbionfan]

Great thread thank you ...honestly in tears here laughing...

 

[Vatican Citys No.2 Keeper]

My dog once farted in her sleep and managed to wake herself up with a start from the force of it. She was obviously in a state of complete shock at both the noise and the smell as she then proceeded to start barking at her own arse.

We've all had a good day today.
Said dog is lovingly sleeping at my feet, arse pointing at me, snoring his head off.

But every ten minutes of so, he's having a good sleep stretch.

This I have learned is the signal that in 10 to 20 seconds my retinas will be burned out of my face.

Filthy b*****d.

struggling to stop myself howling with laughter and waking the rest of the house up whilst reading this!

 

[Stat Brother]

Blonde Stat Hound has gone through the bin, while we were out.

It was full of veg and peelings.

Tonight may well be epic in trumpington proportions.

 

[Taybha]

Her indoors said give them charcol biscuits , i took a whack to relay this info for you as i said to her is that why ya tongues always black

 

[Horton's halftime iceberg]

Blonde Stat Hound has gone through the bin, while we were out.

It was full of veg and peelings.

Tonight may well be epic in trumpington proportions.

Just doesn't want to be outdone by Laura Trott who chucked up her guts big time after todays scratch race.

 

[Stat Brother]

Seems like I'm dodging a bullet, all quiet so far.
I do have the lab sat on my lap, a rare treat for him.

 

[Braders]

Her indoors said give them charcol biscuits , i took a whack to relay this info for you as i said to her is that why ya tongues always black

Dammit , the only piece of useful dog based knowledge I have and I got beaten to it

 

[FBI]

We used to have a Boxer dog and one saturday night before we went to the pub,the wife put the frozen Beef joint out on the kitchen table to defrost (with a tea towel over it).

When we came back a few hours later,the dog was licking his blooded chops and belching. He must have pulled the joint from the table and ate the entire lot...uncooked & Raw with ice in the middle.

For the next two days his Arse was in overdrive and the smell was so bad it use to fill the whole house and hang around all day,we even had to postpone the visit of the mortgage Advisor that was due.

 

[Blackadder]

I missed this thread first time. Thanks for bouncing.

there are some bloody funny posts here.

 

[bn1&bn3 Albion]

My dog once farted in her sleep and managed to wake herself up with a start from the force of it. She was obviously in a state of complete shock at both the noise and the smell as she then proceeded to start barking at her own arse.

This thread is full of genuine LOL's

 

[Woodchip]

We used to have a Boxer dog and one saturday night before we went to the pub,the wife put the frozen Beef joint out on the kitchen table to defrost (with a tea towel over it).

When we came back a few hours later,the dog was licking his blooded chops and belching. He must have pulled the joint from the table and ate the entire lot...uncooked & Raw with ice in the middle.

For the next two days his Arse was in overdrive and the smell was so bad it use to fill the whole house and hang around all day,we even had to postpone the visit of the mortgage Advisor that was due.