[Help] mental health - advice if possible please

[Fungus]

thanks to those who have posted - I didn't want to seem rude by not replying.

I hadn't mentioned to my GP that the slump may have been triggered by the game on Saturday...I have a hard enough time trying to get help as it is lol. I finally spoke to the receptionist - explained everything in fairly grim detail and was told that I will still be on the list may get a call back sometime in the next 10 days - the reason was that I am classed as a functioning depressive (as in I got off my backside and went to work today). I do wonder how many people have tried to seek help and have fallen through the net with attitudes like that....

Anyway thanks again all. Im sure the slump will pass but in proper survival mode currently.

Well done for reaching out. I hope some of the responses will be useful to you.

As regards your current slump, this time of year can be difficult for a lot of people. I don't know if it affects you, but I find my battery is pretty much drained by late winter. So it makes other problems seem worse, and it's harder to fight back, but slumps can tend to pass of their own accord. I try to just keep ticking over until spring arrives - my favourite time of year. Do check out some of the suggestions posted. Good luck!

 

[Red Squirrel]

I hope you get some rest and feel better soon. You are not alone and make sure you message here if you need to talk to someone. There is a lot of good advice on this thread.

I had an anxiety attack this afternoon. It wasn't good but I knew what was happening and was able to adopt some coping mechanisms that made it easier. They won't necessarily work for everyone and might sound silly to some:

I became a good friend to myself. I forgave myself for having the attack. I find that when I have the attack my mind starts beating up on itself. I told myself that was ok. Going with the flow seems to placate it. If I have bad self-harming thoughts spiralling in my head I try to pick one I know is a lie and challenge it. Once I break the momentum of the thoughts, the anxiety starts to slow and the physical parts of the anxiety ease.

I'm not a doctor. I'm not suggesting the above is easy or will work for everyone but it helped me today.

 

[Weststander]

Well done for reaching out. I hope some of the responses will be useful to you.

As regards your current slump, this time of year can be difficult for a lot of people. I don't know if it affects you, but I find my battery is pretty much drained by late winter. So it makes other problems seem worse, and it's harder to fight back, but slumps can tend to pass of their own accord. I try to just keep ticking over until spring arrives - my favourite time of year. Do check out some of the suggestions posted. Good luck!

Morning Live today covered SAD and the use of Melatonin .... the GP said it works.

 

[Cheshire Cat]

thanks to those who have posted - I didn't want to seem rude by not replying.

I hadn't mentioned to my GP that the slump may have been triggered by the game on Saturday...I have a hard enough time trying to get help as it is lol. I finally spoke to the receptionist - explained everything in fairly grim detail and was told that I will still be on the list may get a call back sometime in the next 10 days - the reason was that I am classed as a functioning depressive (as in I got off my backside and went to work today). I do wonder how many people have tried to seek help and have fallen through the net with attitudes like that....

Anyway thanks again all. Im sure the slump will pass but in proper survival mode currently.

Unfortunately that sounds about par for the course these days. The NHS might be ok for physical ailments (if you can actually get into the system), but it is absolutely crap regarding mental health.

I can't see how being "functioning" make any difference, other than it means you are still breathing. I would get back to the surgery, stress your symptoms and insist on a quicker appointment - preferably face to face. Phone calls have become a cop-out and are not nearly as useful. If you can get in there, the GP will (probably) be sympathetic and may even help. Don't be abusive to the receptionist, because regardless how obstructive they seem (and are), they are only doing what they have been told. You don't want to get kicked off the practise list

Are you on any prescribed meds for this already?

 

[Motogull]

You did the right, and brave thing by opening up @mrjon1976. It can't have been easy.

At our crimbo do, a lovely lady told me that she had conquered anxiety by cutting out caffeine. I cut it our at NY and am amazed at the difference. I was definitely doing too many expressos but now Basil Fawlty does not visit me anymore. I kinda miss him but I'm not going back.

I'm suggesting this as a cure, but marginal gains and all that.

 

[borat]

Ok, so apologies in advance for this - it is a long one. I am unsure what I would want to achieve by posting this, maybe if anyone has been in a similar situation and could offer their advice maybe. I feel pretty ashamed about all this, so please if you have nothing nice to say then just move on somewhere else.

I will start with the typical fan forum introduction - am 46, season ticket holder in the North Stand and have been to games for the last 30 years or so.; however I have no issue with the condiments on offer on matchday or with having a mobile ticket. I also have a myriad of MH issues mainly centred around anxiety and bouts of depression. The anxiety in particular is at times overwhelming - I often feel lost in big crowds so even coming to football can be a struggle that takes a lot out of me - I have previously had panic attacks while at games which gets quite difficult. I have also previously self harmed and have attempted to end my life on 3 occasions - yet because of my age I am not classed as a priority case. this has meant that I have had to try & find ways to survive without much support at all., This has been ongoing for around 25 years (diagnosed with depression & anxiety 7 years ago). Because of all of this, win, lose or draw I always try to not get too overexcited or overly disappointed after games, as this can act as a trigger for me. However, Saturdays game has left me in an absolute slump that I can't get out of - maybe it is down to the frustrations with our goal scoring, or Fulham's tactics, or even the "performance" of the referee. But something has triggered this latest slump - does anyone else who has similar issues find this, or is it just me being dumb? It has really provoked a sense of hopelessness - now the rational side knows how stupid this is, but the screwed up brain doesn't register normal logic. I have mainly spent the last 36 hours trying hard not to break down completely and revert back to old ways. All because of Saturday?? Yeah I know that is stupid. but knowing this makes me feel worse about feeling like this. And so on and so forth.

I have tried reaching out to my GP and have been offered a telephone call back in 12 days time - despite answering the online consultation form saying that I have been having intrusive thoughts. I don't really know what else to do that I haven't tried already - so I am hoping that some of what I have said here resonates with someone who can understand that I am not dumb or stupid.

Sorry to hear of your situation.

Obviously because of the state of the NHS you might be waiting a while. Can you afford to see a private therapist at least until you can be seen elsewhere?

Short term solutions which might help in the interim

Breath work / Meditation - few good apps and youtube follow alongs. Can help to calm your nervous system.
Walking in nature
Cold showers - hard to do but can really help boost mood.
Less social media
Watch things that have historically made you laugh
Meet with a friend and have a chat or do an activity (sounds simple but can make a big difference)

Sounds cliched but take it day by day and try not to look too far ahead.

Wish you the best

 

[fisons]

This thread is again NSC at its very best. Your post and some of the answers are just so helpful and brilliant.

Sussex Cricket has created a hub with locally based help addressing various forms of mental health and other well-being issues. You might find something useful on this link.

Find Hope & Support

Powerful lived experience videos that offer hope and encouragement, whilst signposting local mental health and wellbeing support and information.

sussexcricket.frog.net

 

[portlock seagull]

Natural world is your friend. Leave headphones and phone behind - walk, watch, listen instead. Go explore, rain or shine. Literally get lost sometimes, it can be fun.

 

[LamieRobertson]

To the OP…

I cant add much to some brilliant and helpful replies..but i would say don’t be ashamed ..takes a lot to post what you have.

You aren’t alone ….I’ve experienced some of what you are going through and there is a better life beyond it.

Wish you all the best

 

[Cotton Socks]

thanks to those who have posted - I didn't want to seem rude by not replying.

I hadn't mentioned to my GP that the slump may have been triggered by the game on Saturday...I have a hard enough time trying to get help as it is lol. I finally spoke to the receptionist - explained everything in fairly grim detail and was told that I will still be on the list may get a call back sometime in the next 10 days - the reason was that I am classed as a functioning depressive (as in I got off my backside and went to work today). I do wonder how many people have tried to seek help and have fallen through the net with attitudes like that....

Anyway thanks again all. Im sure the slump will pass but in proper survival mode currently.

A slump can be triggered by anything. It probably wasn't even the football, but that gave you an outlet and a justifiable reason to feel shit. Too many fall through the net unfortunately, especially when they're 'functioning' (I bloody hate that term), I think that the mental health service is so overwhelmed that they're just picking random reasons to put literally 'everyone' to the back of the queue.
You have been given some good advice here, the ones that seem the most like they won't help (and usually the most difficult) such as going for a walk or writing things down are (in my experience) the best things to do. I think the thought of a male (I'm making assumptions due to the general balance of this forum) having what could be considered as a 'diary' is derided. Write it down then rip it up, write emails to yourself, it becomes clearer when you put it out there. If you felt better by writing it here then keep writing it here. Literally set a time with an alarm on your phone to go for a walk everyday, then force yourself out the door, no matter how tired you are.
You're not 'dumb' or 'stupid' and you are definitely not alone!
Keep in mind the Samaritans though, they seem to be overlooked in the help they can give. They are people that want to listen 24/7, they're not paid, they just want to do their best to help. There's a myth surrounding them that you have to be at rock bottom to call them, it's a myth, it's far better if you call them before you hit rock bottom.
As you've said, the slump will pass but it's always better to have others helping you to survive no matter where they come from. Never feel ashamed, from the links posted above you can see that you're not alone, from the waiting list you can see that you are not alone. Try everything that everyone has suggested but all the while you've you've got twats like us on a forum, who will sometimes argue about what colour red is (1st thing that came to mind even though it's not yet been argued about as far as I'm aware) you're not alone.
Edit to add... What @Red Squirrel says about grounding yourself & putting things on a 'truth' or 'likelihood' scale is very helpful for panic attacks but you have to 'train' yourself into techniques to evaluate the scale beforehand. I'd go so far as to say to take a pen & paper with you to a match & if you start to feel panic, step back to a quiet place (perhaps the concourse), write down your panic on a scale of 1 to 10. Wait 5 minutes to calm down then write it again without looking at what you wrote when really anxious. Stay there until you can write down a lower number than what you started with. Help is always there if you can't get the number down. Don't stop doing things you generally enjoy, anxiety is a weird thing & you'll end up convincing yourself to avoid the things you really enjoy just in case. Avoidance is not a good thing, if you avoid things you'll never be able to realise that things that used to scare you aren't as scary as they once seemed. Sorry if that sounds like I'm using patronising terms such as 'scary', I don't mean it like that if it comes across that way. I can't think of the proper terms but it all means the same thing really. Just keep yourself safe.

 

[Gun shot]

mrjon1976,

Firstly, I am very sorry to hear about what you've been through - and continue to go through. None of this is your fault and you are very brave in reaching out to the kind posters of NSC on here.

I will try to help you with some good advice (hopefully!) I cannot understand how you have to wait 12 days to see or speak to a GP. That is outrageous, even if medical teams are extremely busy. The fact you've mentioned about trying to commit suicide three times already should alarm them and get you a telephone call on the very same day that you feel desperately anxious and depressed.

Diazepam is a huge help on those stressful matchdays when there are so many people about that you feel really overwhelmed and your emotions are all over the place. It is a prescription drug that comes in either 2mg, 5mg, or 10mg tablets that will make you feel relaxed and feel like your good old self. Trying to get through to your doctor that you need it is a big hurdle from what you've explained but as long as you take it ONLY when you're in desperate need (ie matchdays, weekly trip to the supermarket) then he/she cannot deny you it if you're on a medium dose although long-term use, it can be very addictive. But also a lifesaver too.

I know it's easy for me to sound philosophical but in football terms, you have to look at the bigger picture. Brighton are in seventh place in the Premier League! There's been so many incredible performances this season that you just have to forget about a shite day like Saturday and move on. West Ham in 11 days is going to be very exciting - please don't miss out because of what you went through last time. The sun could well be shining that day, making it feel like spring. A new start.

Wishing you all the luck in the world mate and I'm sure things will get better. Feel free to PM me if you want and I'll give you my mobile number and more privacy.

Take care. Everyone's thinking of you today on here.

GS.

 

[Washie]

Hi friend, I also posted a thread on here a few months back. Never feels bad, ashamed or anything like that about posting your issues, Feel good that you are reaching for help, even if it is just on here, as it is probably the hardest part of the healing process. Like you, I felt very very angry at the end of the game and really made my weekend and start of my week difficult. Now there is no quick fix, and everyone is different. You contacting your doctor is by far your best approach, as they can discuss options with you. It's not immediate but the help can come in many different forms. This can include prescriptions and therapy, and other different actions. There are also many links already on this thread which are utterly fantastic, but still takes time. Feel proud you went to work. Just because it makes you functional, does not mean help is not there, it just means they can see to those whose lives are immediately in danger faster. But there is hope at the end of the tunnel my friend. After getting the help after waiting months, my life seems to have improved dramatically. I got a better job, started taking care of myself. I even had the courage to ask someone on a date after nearly a decade of being single. It feels impossible at the moment, and ten days can feel so so long, but in a few months, you will look back and feel proud of yourself.

 

[Washie]

Also, is it possible to have a mental health thread pinned? I believe it could help a lot of people if more could share their experiences.

 

[Weststander]

Hi friend, I also posted a thread on here a few months back. Never feels bad, ashamed or anything like that about posting your issues, Feel good that you are reaching for help, even if it is just on here, as it is probably the hardest part of the healing process. Like you, I felt very very angry at the end of the game and really made my weekend and start of my week difficult. Now there is no quick fix, and everyone is different. You contacting your doctor is by far your best approach, as they can discuss options with you. It's not immediate but the help can come in many different forms. This can include prescriptions and therapy, and other different actions. There are also many links already on this thread which are utterly fantastic, but still takes time. Feel proud you went to work. Just because it makes you functional, does not mean help is not there, it just means they can see to those whose lives are immediately in danger faster. But there is hope at the end of the tunnel my friend. After getting the help after waiting months, my life seems to have improved dramatically. I got a better job, started taking care of myself. I even had the courage to ask someone on a date after nearly a decade of being single. It feels impossible at the moment, and ten days can feel so so long, but in a few months, you will look back and feel proud of yourself.

Genuinely so pleased for you, what a great story.

 

[BrightonCottager]

@mrjon1976 First of all, I'm really sorry if Fulham's tactics was a factor in how you're feeling. I'm in danger of saying what Mrs Cottager says to me 'It's only a game of football' - there is more than a grain of truth in that even though we all know supporting a club is much more than that and a loss can and does trigger mood changes that spiral into non-football related directions. Others have given better advice than I can, could but what works for me is:



Exercise - preferably in the natural outdoors including the beach

Talking to someone - anyone - about how you're feeling. Often vocalising a problem helps to dissipate it.

 

[The Clamp]

I thought I’d post this here. We use this training at work. It’s a great FREE resource and could help someone you know.

Free online training from Zero Suicide Alliance

Free online training courses to help you gain knowledge, skills and confidence to talk to someone who may be feeling suicidal or socially isolated.

www.zerosuicidealliance.com

 

[Cotton Socks]

I thought I’d post this here. We use this training at work. It’s a great FREE resource and could help someone you know.

Free online training from Zero Suicide Alliance

Free online training courses to help you gain knowledge, skills and confidence to talk to someone who may be feeling suicidal or socially isolated.

www.zerosuicidealliance.com

It all sounds so bloody simple from that! It's not though! Have people that have given that advice listened & heard the way that someone they love wants to commit suicide with the details, I f**king doubt it. It is the most terrifying thing you can hear. You get overwhelmed with all consuming guilt that you may have played a part in how they're feeling. If they actually do it, the ripple effects to people they don't even know are unimaginable.
I'll put this simply, this world will not be a better place without you being in it (I've quoted you but I'm not aiming it you, although it would be a worse place without you, even though I don't know you!).
Anyone that is feeling really shit that is reading this, speak to your partners, friends, bloody anyone, it will scare the shit out of them but even if you don't realise it, you not being here will be horrific. That's probably not on the helpful checklist but anyone that is considering it, you're loved by more people than you realise! Even people that you've crossed wires with on this forum will feel guilty if something happens to you!
And FFS could all of us spare a thought and think about the fact that we don't know whats going on in peoples life away from our keyboards or phones when bin fests occur on the random threads that there have been over the last few days. These petty arguments & squabbles, although may seem innocuous and funny because one of you may be giving 'banter' it may not seem like banter to the person on the receiving end.
I'd like to say can everyone just shut up and talk about the football but I don't actually think I comment on the football much!

 

[Badger Boy]

Thank you for sharing, @mrjon1976 - it's such a positive step and I really hope the replies have helped you. Mental health is a daily struggle and the advice given here is largely excellent, I hope you contact Mind and they help you - the service is excellent and you really do have so much to offer the world. Good luck and please reach out here any time - there is a whole community of people to stand beside you as needed.

You matter more than anything else.

 

[dazzer6666]

NSC at it’s best on this thread……

We started a MH and wellbeing programme at my fishing club last season - this is expanding quite quickly (limited by our ability to get new coaches properly trained etc) but adds to the list of potential distractions and therapies for anyone interested. Those attending last year gave great feedback on the sessions and it’s opened up a new hobby for many. Details in the link, and it’s completely free of charge.

LET’S GO FISHING EVENTS – HHDAS

hhdas.com

 

[Taybha]

I had COVID allegedly non relevant to mental health so my good doctor told me and weeks after testing negative I felt like shit,grumpy uninterested in anything other than myself simply couldn't get myself up for anything even football.

Here's the point,a friend asked me what's up as I had missed 5 fishing matches which is not like me at all so I told him,he told me to try Metatonin a syrup type tonic,I didn't bother,about a week later he rang again I lied and said yep I tried it and blah blah.

I felt a bit shit lying to him as he'd been good enough to ask how I was so I actually went to Morrisons and purchased some,well it could be I just got over it but within 3 days of taking the tonic I felt so much better both physically and mentally,I was soon back to lobbing fluffy slippers at referees on the telly and complaining to inanimate objects about how unlucky we were.

Give it a go and good luck .