Ernest
Stupid IDIOT
As it is NEARLY Christmas I TREATED Big Hilda to a LARGE Full English this morning at the Cliftonville and as MY generosity knows NO bounds I let her have a portion of BLACK pudding too. AS we were WOLFING down our BREAKFASTS my SAUCE turned up breathless with EXCITEMENT, he said he HAD some top secret gossip and told me to KEEP it to myself. APPARANTLY after last Saturdays win at Middlesbrough OCSAR was going to TREAT the GROUP to a CHRISTMAS night out at the local TAPPERS bar where they would have some SHERRY and dance the night AWAY to FLAMINGO music. Craig Conway turned round and SAID he didn't want to go as it would be SHIT and he wanted to go and see STRIPPERS and a BLUE comic and it KICKED off big time and INDIGO Claderon had to PULL Conway OFF. IT all ENDED up UGLY with OCSAR saying that Conway wouldn't PLAY again for the CLUB and he is on the TRANSFER list. Me and Hilda nearly FELL off our SEATS with shock at that NEWS but my SAUCE hadn't finished, he said did I see about Barber buying all the supporters a drink at Boro last week ? Apparantly a FEW weeks ago Dick Tight gave POODLE Perry a SACK of cash containing more of the 1983 FA Cup Final cash to be LAUNDERED in Sports Dreams but Perry had found out that the potless pillock was going to COAT him in his book and so for REVENGE he gave the sack of SWAG to Barber and told him to USE it to buy the fans at BORO a pint. Dick Tight was SEETHING with anger when he found out and has vowed REVENGE.
With THAT bombshell my SAUCE hotfooted it out into the THRONGING masses of George St whilst we finished wiping our plates clean.
Do NOT forget tomorrows ARS Christmas Party at the NEW East Stand Sports bar and do not confuse it with the LICKERS disco in DICKS with the SOLE music and no CHRISTMAS music allowed as WE will be BANGING out Mud, SALDE, Wham, WIZZARD and CLIFF and all the OTHER favourites as well as our FANCY dress competition too. @Beach hut and me will be going as Robin THICK and MILEY Cyrus complete with SPONGE fingers and I will let YOU all guess which one of us is THICK ?
Talking of Christmas there is still TIME to get your GIFTS from the ARS catalogue and among the best CELLARS is the Dick Tight Withdean Wallet (GUARANTEED unopened) as well as the potless pillock GIFT envelope where you GIVE somebody some cash and a little while later you DEMAND it back and the envelope is there for the cash to be returned in.
MERRY Christmas to all members of the ARS
UP THE ARS
With THAT bombshell my SAUCE hotfooted it out into the THRONGING masses of George St whilst we finished wiping our plates clean.
Do NOT forget tomorrows ARS Christmas Party at the NEW East Stand Sports bar and do not confuse it with the LICKERS disco in DICKS with the SOLE music and no CHRISTMAS music allowed as WE will be BANGING out Mud, SALDE, Wham, WIZZARD and CLIFF and all the OTHER favourites as well as our FANCY dress competition too. @Beach hut and me will be going as Robin THICK and MILEY Cyrus complete with SPONGE fingers and I will let YOU all guess which one of us is THICK ?
Talking of Christmas there is still TIME to get your GIFTS from the ARS catalogue and among the best CELLARS is the Dick Tight Withdean Wallet (GUARANTEED unopened) as well as the potless pillock GIFT envelope where you GIVE somebody some cash and a little while later you DEMAND it back and the envelope is there for the cash to be returned in.
MERRY Christmas to all members of the ARS
UP THE ARS
