Massive Spiders at home walking about like they own the place

[The Truth]

I think they're wolf spiders.

 

[Prince Monolulu]

And this

Blimey, you've had some bigguns. You should try some pierced conkers.

 

[Goldstone1976]

And this

Interesting reading material you have....

 

[Barrel of Fun]

you do realise they are harmless dont you?

There are a lot of wusses on here. Spiders are brilliant.

Except the team in my greenhouse. They have taken out 10 bumbles and counting. We know what Einstein said would happen to us if bees die!

 

[Hugo Rune]

I woke up last week with a huge blister/hole in my leg. I could not understand how I got it but then found a few false widow spiders in the house. Now, it may not have been one of the critters biting me but it's more than a coincidence I have a blister/hole like the ones in the tabloid press that I can't explain. I can't tell the Misses because she would move out straight away. I now do a daily check in all my nooks and crannies to check that there are no arachnid enemies ready to strike.

 

[paul & shark]

There are a lot of wusses on here. Spiders are brilliant.

Except the team in my greenhouse. They have taken out 10 bumbles and counting. We know what Einstein said would happen to us if bees die!

10 bees is a great effort

fair play your firm of many legs

 

[BRIGHT ON Q]

My cat loves this time of year,seems to find some supper every night.

 

[wunt be druv]

They are B******s! they go for your throat and everything! this was the scene outside Wunt be druv heights earlier.....

 

[Spun Cuppa]

I have been playing a game with a 4cm. across number, inc. legs, in that it appears in my bath in the morning, so I chuck it out the window, and lo and behold, it's in there again the next morning. Did it four days on the trot, then left it in the bath the fifth day, and now it's gone. Must be holed up in my drum somewhere

 

[Thunder Bolt]

I have been playing a game with a 4cm. across number, inc. legs, in that it appears in my bath in the morning, so I chuck it out the window, and lo and behold, it's in there again the next morning. Did it four days on the trot, then left it in the bath the fifth day, and now it's gone. Must be holed up in my drum somewhere

It's hiding, just waiting to ambush you.

 

[Algernon]

I have been playing a game with a 4cm. across number, inc. legs, in that it appears in my bath in the morning, so I chuck it out the window, and lo and behold, it's in there again the next morning. Did it four days on the trot, then left it in the bath the fifth day, and now it's gone. Must be holed up in my EARdrum somewhere

ftfy.

 

[Spun Cuppa]

It's hiding, just waiting to ambush you.

This is my worry, and it might be a bit peeved

 

[vegster]

I was a tad drunk the other night and found a monster in the top corner of my bedroom. I Immediately resolved to destroy the beast. I'm afraid booze and hunting don't sit well together, my drunken plan was to deploy my electrified Bug Bat beneath the Spider and stun it from its perch with a spray of some kind so it fell on said electrified Bug Bat.

However, I could only find a spray can of Athletes Foot powder to hand for the job. Undeterred I took position and vented the can at the beast... which just sat there... and sat there... I was starting to choke on the back blast of Athletes Foot powder and so tried to wiggle my Bug Bat in order to make a conection, in doing so I wedged one of the monsters legs to the wall..... cleverly I thought that when I withdrew the bat a little the behemoth would fall from its corner and fricasee in the electric fire of hell !.................

Instead, as I eased the bat away from the wall the ******* wrenched its body away from the crushed leg and dropped on to the rim of my trap and ran off into the safety of the back of the wardrobe. I am now borderline Asthmatic and have a mangled leg stuck high up my wallpaper and a seven legged angry Spider sharing my room. It could be a long winter.

 

[8ace]

Smearing dog shite all over your windows is meant to be a good way to deter spiders.

 

[Laughing Gravy]

Yes I've heard this from my wife who heard it from her mother etc,, in fact every corner of every room in my house has a conker in ready to scare any 8 legged git that enters.

It doesn't work.

This is what my wife does. Amount of times I have got a conker wedged in the hoover nozzel

 

[Doc Lynam]

I was a tad drunk the other night and found a monster in the top corner of my bedroom. I Immediately resolved to destroy the beast. I'm afraid booze and hunting don't sit well together, my drunken plan was to deploy my electrified Bug Bat beneath the Spider and stun it from its perch with a spray of some kind so it fell on said electrified Bug Bat.

However, I could only find a spray can of Athletes Foot powder to hand for the job. Undeterred I took position and vented the can at the beast... which just sat there... and sat there... I was starting to choke on the back blast of Athletes Foot powder and so tried to wiggle my Bug Bat in order to make a conection, in doing so I wedged one of the monsters legs to the wall..... cleverly I thought that when I withdrew the bat a little the behemoth would fall from its corner and fricasee in the electric fire of hell !.................

Instead, as I eased the bat away from the wall the ******* wrenched its body away from the crushed leg and dropped on to the rim of my trap and ran off into the safety of the back of the wardrobe. I am now borderline Asthmatic and have a mangled leg stuck high up my wallpaper and a seven legged angry Spider sharing my room. It could be a long winter.

Brilliant

 

[Juan Albion]

Not much of a spider problem here, but that might be because my house is being overrun with TOADS. Had to evict a 4-incher last night. Didn't touch it though as I am finally wart-free.

 

[Hyperion]

I was a tad drunk the other night and found a monster in the top corner of my bedroom. I Immediately resolved to destroy the beast. I'm afraid booze and hunting don't sit well together, my drunken plan was to deploy my electrified Bug Bat beneath the Spider and stun it from its perch with a spray of some kind so it fell on said electrified Bug Bat.

However, I could only find a spray can of Athletes Foot powder to hand for the job. Undeterred I took position and vented the can at the beast... which just sat there... and sat there... I was starting to choke on the back blast of Athletes Foot powder and so tried to wiggle my Bug Bat in order to make a conection, in doing so I wedged one of the monsters legs to the wall..... cleverly I thought that when I withdrew the bat a little the behemoth would fall from its corner and fricasee in the electric fire of hell !.................

Instead, as I eased the bat away from the wall the ******* wrenched its body away from the crushed leg and dropped on to the rim of my trap and ran off into the safety of the back of the wardrobe. I am now borderline Asthmatic and have a mangled leg stuck high up my wallpaper and a seven legged angry Spider sharing my room. It could be a long winter.

I really enjoyed that. Great story. "Borderline Asthmatic" from athletes foot spray. Haha

 

[Eeyore]

I like spiders. They eat all the other nasties in the house.

Very much this. When I lived beyond the black stump, in New South Wales, we had a huge resident Huntsman. We christened him Herbie and let him roam. He had an appetite for Redbacks.

Mind you, when he turned up in someones bed one morning he was given a warning...

 

[Brighton TID]

I was a tad drunk the other night and found a monster in the top corner of my bedroom. I Immediately resolved to destroy the beast. I'm afraid booze and hunting don't sit well together, my drunken plan was to deploy my electrified Bug Bat beneath the Spider and stun it from its perch with a spray of some kind so it fell on said electrified Bug Bat.

However, I could only find a spray can of Athletes Foot powder to hand for the job. Undeterred I took position and vented the can at the beast... which just sat there... and sat there... I was starting to choke on the back blast of Athletes Foot powder and so tried to wiggle my Bug Bat in order to make a conection, in doing so I wedged one of the monsters legs to the wall..... cleverly I thought that when I withdrew the bat a little the behemoth would fall from its corner and fricasee in the electric fire of hell !.................

Instead, as I eased the bat away from the wall the ******* wrenched its body away from the crushed leg and dropped on to the rim of my trap and ran off into the safety of the back of the wardrobe. I am now borderline Asthmatic and have a mangled leg stuck high up my wallpaper and a seven legged angry Spider sharing my room. It could be a long winter.

This tale has certainly got legs