It's gone 11pm, I've had a whiskey, lets hear some of our favourite VIZ quotes;

[JamesAndTheGiantHead]

'As seen in the War!'

 

[birthofanorange]

Oh, I'll dig out the letter at some point and scan it for you.

 

[drew]

Blind people shouldn't be allowed to own houses in the country because they can't appreciate the view.

Ashamed as I am I did laugh out loud at that one.

 

[JamesAndTheGiantHead]

Blind people shouldn't be allowed to own houses in the country because they can't appreciate the view.

Ashamed as I am I did laugh out loud at that one.

I did too, off to hell we go.

From this months issue:

"Kinder. If you really want to surprise children, fill your chocolate eggs with absolutely nothing. Or Blood."

 

[Seagull73]

RUDE KID:

Mum: Come to the shops dear
RK: f*** Off!

Mum: Tidy your room dear!
RK: Big Dogs Cock!

Mum: Finish your dinner dear.
RK: Piss up a rope fuckstick

Absolute Classics!

 

[jackanada]

Remember getting in trouble quoting from the end of "Clarence Clockses - he puts spent matches back in boxes"

"Well I'm Pete Pachine-Bun and I've got a." "f*** OFF!"

 

[RowleyBirkinQ.C(deceased)]

Motorists; Don't waste money on air-conditioning; just buy a car that's been involved in a fatal road traffic accident and the ghosts will keep you cool.

I love that one, how about ...

CASH STRAPPED police forces. The average police woman's uniform costs around £250. But Ann Summers' shops do a wipe-clean one for under twenty. So save money and improve public relations in one stroke.

 

[Durlston]

Digestive biscuits topped with tomato sauce and a small piece of cheese make ideal 'mini pizzas'.

When it's your round, carry all the drinks back from the bar by covering them with clingfilm and putting them in your pockets.

Convince friends that you have a high powered job in the City by leaving for work at 6am every morning, arriving home at 10 at night, never keeping social appointments and dropping dead at the age of 36.

Make people think they've seen a snake by squirming around your local park in a rolled up carpet with a fork dangling from your mouth and making loud hissing noises.

 

[JamesAndTheGiantHead]

Tobacco manufacturers. Be more positive in your packaging by pointing out that your customers may be able to star in their own TV commercial.

 

[JamesAndTheGiantHead]

Make people think they've seen a snake by squirming around your local park in a rolled up carpet with a fork dangling from your mouth and making loud hissing noises.

I almost LMAO'd. Almost.

 

[JamesAndTheGiantHead]

 

[bassking]

pervert charecter sniffin underwear on washing line, and says " mmmm a good vintage vaginal aroma.

 

[JamesAndTheGiantHead]

I can't remember the last time I saw a bobby on the beat, but that's probably because I'm in the tertiary stages of dementia.